Last night's conversation was one of those where it seemed like no matter what, we were gonna be in bad moods.

For example, me mentioning the icky situation of those who want to have biological kids can't while those who don't can, and he said something akin to "Well, I can totally understand that" about wanting biological kids. I got all quiet. Obviously, I have never had that biological craving thing going on for me.

Then we discussed the schooling situation. He has been checking into various computer programs at several schools in his area... and financially, he appears to be up a creek when it comes to getting financial aid for any of them (oh, the joys of FAFSA, let's put it that way). Which is absolutely fucking frustrating as hell. It really shouldn't be THAT HARD to do, you know? It's not like he's a total idiot here. Admittedly, he can't do much until he's employed again, but classes don't start until at least the spring in some places. Maybe that'll give enough time? Who knows.

Then somehow we got onto the topic of last names again. Which probably should have been one of those "don't go there" topics given the mood we were in about the school situation. He started going on about how it was better that I keep my own name for credit (even though apparently neither of us have any), then mentioned that if we didn't have the same name we didn't get the marriage penalty on taxes (hadn't heard that before, but I'm not objecting if it's true!), and was also griping that we'd have to carry around copies of our marriage certificate all the time to prove that we were married because no one would believe it if we had different last names, then said that if we didn't have the same last name, we might as well not get married in the first place and just shack up.

HUH?!? The hell? So if I change my last name and take no vows we're married, but if it's the other way around we're not? What? Or at least, that's what it sounded like to me. And in all honesty, pissed me right off. It frigging doesn't matter what your name is to me with regards to that.

So I started going off on how my name's just as important to me, and I am not automatically having to give it up just because I don't have an almighty penis, and me only taking his name originated from the woman being literally the man's property and that makes me incredibly uncomfortable (yes, I know he isn't like that, but I don't like the implication nevertheless), and I'M the one that has to deal with all the hassles of the name change or not issue, not him.

He eventually said that I did have good reasons for it, he was just traditional and had been looking forward to us having the same name.

Dammit.

Much to my surprise, he suggested a compromise- that we BOTH hyphenate. Honestly, I never would have expected him to say that, especially given the whole name-is-so-important thing going on in his family, not to mention that he's a Dave II namewise. I asked if his dad would be pissed off at that, and he said he didn't care, he only cared what I thought. Aww, how sweet.

I don't know how it would work out yet- a 20-letter long hyphenated last name has its own problems- but at least it wouldn't all just be my problem.

Or we could combine the names. Which actually comes out quite amusing, because his name would go from meaning "courageous in battle" to "courageous in a vehicle." That cracks me up no end.

I apologized for not being the traditional woman of his dreams and being a feminist bitch instead, and he said he loved me the way that I am, arguing right back with him and not being a sheep. Awww.

After that I had to go call my mom, and much to my surprise she was kind of on my side (so to speak) on the name issue. She started going on about how there were tons of clients at her work that had different last names or were guys with hyphenated ones. I would have never figured that from her, as she's so incredibly traditional you'd think she lived in 1955.

I'm not so worried about being laid off for lack of work any more- sounds like my boss is all "you'll just go back to doing projects once the temps leave." Phew.

Dave's got another job interview tomorrow morning- office work and phone sales, it sounds like. I'm feeling paranoid since he got the interview so quickly (like um, the other bad place), but since they asked about actual experience he had that's more reassuring. Ah, we'll see. I'm trying not to get too worked up in the meantime.

Sounds like the weekend is going to involve partying- Teri's having a birthday party and Dave's cousin is coming to visit. Hopefully should be fun.

As for spending, I've been very good the past few days. No going out, no buying anything beyond lunches. Yay me. Let's hope I keep it up.

previous entry - next entry
archives - current entry