I am so bad.

I should not have spent over $50 on beads last night. Or bought CD's. I don't know what the hell I was thinking. I have some ideas about things I want to create, and went around finding what I'd need for that last night in a few stores.

After buying all of this, I went home and did my accounting on Quicken, which I hadn't done since before Whole Earth. Owwwwch.

Good lord. I might be laid off in a month or two, and yet can I manage to save more? Hell, no. I want and I want and I want and I go buying more and more things that delight and excite me... but it's BAD! Really, the only way to justify the spending I'm doing on beads would be if I sell off what I make, and I probably won't do that at least until the next 3wa craft fair.

And I want more! I'm dying to buy more stuff! I want more books! I want to order Wil Wheaton's new book. I really want The Dirty Girls Social Club bad. I want Good In Bed. There's so much I crave, that I want to do, that I want to learn. And that isn't in the bloody library to get for free!

This is frustrating as all hell.

Well, heard back from my doctor today on e-mail- what a cool chick. She didn't comment on my gacky breath-o-meter results, but said I was getting sent to an asthma doctor or nurse to get the formal testing/confirmation done on my diseased lungs and I should be getting a call in the next few days. Oh, and I have to take a class now. Gah. I thought those were for when you got diagnosed as diabetic- what's there to take in an asthma class on a regular basis? (No, don't tell me, right now I don't want to know.)

I am kind of annoyed that I asked her if I was going to have to go to someone regularly for that, could I go to someone here instead of there, and she never answered that. I'm guessing it's a no?

Though the good news in this, if any- they're having some kind of asthma study on campus, and after Official Diagnosis, theoretically I could do it. Six months. I hope they pay, I could use it. And all I'd have to do is drink apple juice and eat apples daily. Assuming they're still taking people by the time I get Official Diagnosis, anyway.

Sigh. So, series finale of Buffy tonight. Waaah. Excellent episode, though. I thought it was very well done, it made me laugh, even. It was sweet. It wrapped things up well.

Honestly, this is the best show on television for writing, performances, etc. to me. Okay, West Wing and 24 may be too, but they're not that old yet, and who knows how long either of those is going to last.

What's going to step up and replace it?

At the moment my TV watching alternates between two kinds of shows: Whedon shows and reality TV. I've grown fairly sick of fakey-sitcomness even in the shows I did like of that nature, am just not getting into the action television thing going on of late with all the spying crap that confuses me, and a lot of the other shows I used to watch have gotten iffy. I can bear reality TV because it's dumb and unapologetic for doing so, plus I find unscripted dumbness to be both horrifying and refreshing. But for thinking television, I go to Joss. And now two out of his three shows are kaput.

Which leaves me watching Angel, which I am kind of iffy on. See, I love the characters on Angel (with the exceptions of Connor who just NEVER worked, and his mommy dearest because I have wanted to smack her for years), I love their development, I love their lines and their actions... but the plots. Oh, man, the plots are IFFY. I can't blame Hill for making fun of me for watching that one. Sometimes they work great- I rather liked the Holtz stuff, love W&H, and the Jasmine stuff this year turned out to work surprisingly well- and sometimes it just seems like the Angel team just pulled it out of their ass!

Really, bringing Darla back from the dead completely inexplicably and never really explaining how that was done? GRRRRR, arrrrrgh. And I don't think the Angel team is as good at foreshadowing and series arcs as the Buffy one. Buffy is so well plotted, with stuff foreshadowed in season 3 that cropped up in 5 and that sort of thing, and I don't usually get that sense of that happening on Angel. They tried to do that at the end of this season with the whole "we had to have a child of two vampires siring Jasmine" thing, but call it a hunch that originated from sheer ass-pull sometime during the middle of this season. I love how well crafted Buffy is, but Angel isn't quite so well done. Maybe that's because they started that show deliberately trying to NOT have season arcs and plotting and then found that they needed to change that, I don't know. I don't always watch episodes of Angel the way that I do Buffy.

And yet, Angel is all that's going to be left for me to watch, so I'm stuck with it. Well, maybe things will improve. I've heard some great casting spoilers, and I always loved W&H, so who knows.

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