2014-07-03, 3:39 p.m.
recently on Chaos Attraction
I'm taking a long "vacation" weekend because awhile back, my mom got me and her friend Cher tickets for the "Dressed To Kill" "farewell" tour.* Which was on a weekday in San Jose, so I took one day off to get down here and the next day to sleep it off.
* To paraphrase someone that I told about going to this, "How many farewell tours has she had now?" "They're all farewell tours," I said. Okay, so I looked it up and her last official tour before this one was "the farewell tour," though she did do a Vegas stint for a few years in the middle.
Anyway, I'm surprised that any of San Jose was functioning by the time the giant hordes of people showed up. Oh my god, the traffic. Mom had a favorite parking garage a few blocks away that was half the usual price, so we followed the tons of people over there. On the way over, we saw some guy playing the trumpet--with a bunny rabbit sitting under his chair.
Overall concert observations:
I didn't know who the opening act was--it wasn't printed on the tickets, I hadn't looked it up beforehand and the people I was with had no idea--but it turned out to be Cyndi Fucking Lauper. Boo-yaaaaah. Boy, was she great on the random wacky banter. I was writing down lines as best I could:
* She started performing at 7:40 and apologized for being late, though supposedly she was born right on time.
She got a standing ovation by the end. She also brings her own disco ball.
As for Cher herself, I apparently don't need to run down the entire concert for you because it's already been done on Wikipedia. I did take a ton of photos, which you can see all of here. Taking photos during a concert with your zoom is uh, difficult...I seriously drained two sets of batteries taking pictures--and frantically deleting old pictures off my camera to have room for more pictures. But the sets were AMAZING. She emerges on a pillar, she swings through the air, she emerges from a Trojan horse, there's dancing and acrobatics and animated visuals behind her...it was soooooooooooo beautiful. Seriously, go look at the pics for awhile (note: they start with Cyndi), mmkay? Worth it.
She had, by my photo calculations, ten different costume changes, wigs included. She said at one point that she can still fit into the outfit from the "Turn Back Time" video, though she wore a similar, less-Borat-ish one for the actual song performance.
Cyndi started performing at 7:40 and finished within an hour, but it took about 50 minutes (till 9:30) for Cher to go on. Normally I get grumbly about this at concerts once it's clear that everything is set up on stage, and wonder what kind of blow the performers are doing backstage or something. But at a Cher concert, well.... you figure they're busy. Five minutes before she came out, she yelled from behind the curtain that she'd be out as soon as she finished gluing on her last feather.
Now here's the part where I tried to write down her quotes:
The final number of the show featured her being floated around through the entire arena, over everyone, in slow motion. It was beautiful.
Cher does not do an encore. I guess by then everyone's tired and had enough.
After the show, Mom bought us tour T-shirts for $10 from one of the guys hawking them. No joke, we bought shirts out of a guy's pants. He had some very full cargo pants pockets and I'm pretty sure I saw some in his waistband. We're gonna wash 'em first before wearing them.
This was the best concert I have ever been to. If I came out of it a little deaf and a little hoarse, it was worth it. Folks, if you can ever come up with the means to go to a Cher concert, DO IT. Another guy I talked to said he'd been to three and this was the best ever. It was amazing. The sets, the costumes, the acrobats (Mom referred to it as Cirque de Soleil at one point), and Cher's voice is freaking perfect. The amount of work they put into it is worth the money.