Chaos Attraction

Another Day, Another NDE

2006-07-29, 11:18 p.m.

Another day, another near-death. Grandma broke a hip and they had to operate.

I can't even get worked up and hop on the roller coaster about it any more. She'll get sicker, she'll die, just like everyone else. I can't fucking cry about it any more.

Mom screamed at me for not having my phone on all day because she wants to be able to talk to me 24-7 whenever she wants.

I know I should have the damn phone on all the time whether I want to or not because of everyone getting sick and dying constantly. But goddammit, I don't want to turn on the phone any more. I don't have any good conversations on the phone. Nobody calls me with good anything and I don't like sitting around with my phone on waiting for someone to call me about something else bad. I have to delete five voice mails from Mom every time I check voice mail because she won't stop calling me.

I am so sick of having to be the only provider for her needy.

I had a fine day until she wanted to talk to me. Then I completely lost my shit at her.

She hung up on me, then called back to say that she won't call me any more.

Yeah, RIGHT.


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