A momentary interlude from the "What's Wrong With Dad Today?" entries: astrological ranting for the new month!

Susan Miller's monthly:

"Last month, Saturn moved into a key angle in your horoscope: your house of home and family. Sometimes it takes a little while for the effects of this planet to be felt, but you might see a development immediately."

Gee, ya think?

"The reason I say this is because when you have a major planet in a new part of the chart, you often need a new moon to push that energy into action. The new moon, August 4, will appear in this very area, and will usher in both opportunities and a possible challenge."

You know, I hate this whole "let's call it a CHALLENGE" thing when something shitty occurs. It's not playing the game of Survivor here.

"Let me show you what I see. That new moon will come into being with an entire entourage: the Sun, Saturn, and Mercury. If you have wanted to move, renovate, or repair your home or property, you will have all the planetary energy you need."

Alas, that doesn't exactly provide me with the physical or mental energy to do it.

"Mercury's presence suggests you will hear news, but since Mercury will be retrograde until August 15, you have to proceed slowly. On one hand, a property deal could fall through. If that happens, it wasn't meant to be, and it was probably a bad situation for you anyway. Don't become distressed over that news. Mercury will immediately abort a flawed situation. On the other hand, you may get a second chance on a deal, as Mercury may help you go back to an old circumstance for a second chance."

Huh. Wonder if Heather trying to get housing is going to fall through or something.

"Or, maybe you had hoped your best friend would room with you, but the timing was off - now you might be able to make that idea work. Many readers assume Mercury retrograde can't possibly help them, but as you see, it can! Mercury works both ways, and in instances like this Mercury can be your friend."

Hm. This would not be bad. Not that I can think of an analogy for my life that works for this, but the idea isn't bad.

"I would advise you not to sign a lease or agreement, or put in mortgage applications, while Mercury is out of phase. Sometimes you simply cannot avoid it. A friend signed a two-year lease recently during a retrograde period and now has to get out of the lease to relocate for her job. Unanticipated things tend to come up later, so you will have to factor that in."

Hm, maybe it's a good thing I'm stalling on finding another roommate.

"Saturn's presence near that new moon suggests that you may either be faced with a tough residential situation or find that you will choose to make sacrifices for a greater goal. In the latter case, you might decide to save up for a new house, and you may enact stringent measures to get to your goal. Saturn always allows you to opt out of the situation. Most of us don't because the backend reward is so very valuable. Saturn is trying to teach you the limits of instant gratification and the values of long-range planning."

All this "You're gonna want a house" crap makes me laugh and laugh.

I think "tough residential situation" sounds far more likely. Like, "Yeah, you won't find a roommate again EVAH, bitch!"

"If your birthday falls in April, Saturn is in very hard angle to your Sun. The good part is that it won't get any harder than it is now."

I find that hard to believe.

"In the past few months, as Saturn came closer to your Sun (while it was still in Cancer) you began notice that a property or family situation was about to change. Now, or very soon, you are being asked to make a choice."

Sounds like the stuff Jess is telling me lately. I really should reprint that sometime or something.

"If you do not anticipate any changes in regard to your home or property, you may be called to help an elderly parent or a different family member. Saturn always brings the need to assume more responsibility, so in that case, it may have to do with the care of a parent. (The fourth house rules not only your physical space, but, in its role as the "cradle of life" in the horoscope, it rules your parents, too.) Even if you have brothers and sisters, it looks like you would be in the best position to help."

Big fucking surprise. Oh, joy, MORE RESPONSIBILITY! I just love being an adult! Nothing but good times ahead! I love mommying my parents!

"Judging by my reader mail, some of you feel that when you have Saturn in tough angle to your Sun, as it is now for you, it means two years of hardship. That is not true."

Er, so how come I keep seeing stuff saying that everywhere, then?

"As Saturn moves through all thirty degrees of Leo, it will affect you the most when it moves within a plus or minus five-degree aspect to your Sun. As said the only readers who are feeling the direct rays of Saturn are those born in April."

Check that sunburn!

"When Saturn is close enough to make an aspect, it lasts for about nine months, not over two years. While it is possible you may feel some influence after Saturn moves on, it will not have nearly as powerful an influence as it will when it was within a tight five-degree conjunction."

Oh, gee, so I only have nine months of hell. On the one hand, shortening of hell is good. On the other hand, it makes me sound pregnant. (Pregnant with my parents? Ew.)

"Interestingly, Saturn often forces us to walk across a ravine to new territory, even if we feel we aren't able to do so. We say we aren't ready, but Saturn laughs and knows we are. Sometimes we try to use old formulas to fix Saturn problems, but those almost never work - we are expected to try something new. Saturn's job is, after all, to mature you."

Maturity. Joy. That sounds about as happy as having a root canal.

"Exciting career news should come to you on or very close to the full moon, August 19. It's a high point in your professional life, and certainly you are about to get recognition for the work you have done in the past. Jupiter will send a sensational ray to that full moon and Uranus, so you should be delighted, and completely surprised, by the news."

I don't think I'll hold my breath on this one. Unless someone's giving me a raise due to budget changes, this just isn't likely.

"Two days prior, August 17, will be also a red-letter day for your career. What a week! Jupiter and Neptune will send congratulations to one another, suggesting that you will see major recognition for your vision. You may even be invited on TV or on other media - Neptune will see to it that others see and know your face!"

Riiiiiiiiight.

"This aspect - Jupiter in perfect angle to Neptune - will not reoccur for years, and when these two planets do speak in this manner, they will no longer link these two houses. In other words, you have a "once in a lifetime" aspect coming up. It only can have the very best influence on your career."

I don't think that quite works for what I do.

"This has to be a gratifying time for you. Mars is in your sign. No matter what you think, you truly have a great deal of control over the course your life is about to take."

Then how come I feel of late like certain things are veered right out of anyone's control?

"Romantically, the planet of love (and your ruling planet as well) is Venus, and during the first half of the month, Venus will be in Virgo, an ideal placement for you. In fact, Venus will be moving through your fifth house of true love. You'll have this benefit until August 15."

Again, ha ha fucking ha ha.

"Your very best date nights are: August 6 when the Sun and Jupiter will be well angled. The moon and Venus will be together in Virgo, too. I also like August 12, when the moon will be in compatible Scorpio, and Venus will set up an especially fine communique with Mercury. This suggests that conversation on this Friday evening will be lively and fun.
August 20 is a terrific night to enjoy love because Venus and Saturn will bring you a stable, comforting feeling, and the moon will be in poetic, romantic Pisces. You must go out!"

Fifty bucks says nothing happens. Even if I do go clubbing.

"Finally, August 30 should be very special when it comes to love. On this day, you'll want to unwind long enough to catch the last rays of summer. The moon will be in compatible, romantic Cancer, and Venus your ruling planet, will aspect Neptune, planet of dreams. It would be hard to imagine a more glamorous night than this. It should be a night filled with the sweet smell of honeysuckle, twinkling stars, and the touch of someone you love."

Again, riiiiight.

"Your residence appears to be your center of focus now, and may be cause for a few sleepless nights. You seem to want to make a bold change, but confusing conditions at play suggest that you should sit tight until the fog lifts."

I wouldn't agree with "bold change" wanted (other than cleaning), but sitting still sounds good.

"If you are in the middle of property renovation or even trying to help a parent, expect delays to crop up in the first half. You may change your mind about home or family affairs more than once."

True enough.

"With Mercury in retrograde until August 15, it won't be in your interest to move assertively anyway. Use early August to ask hard questions and to mull over answers you receive. Before you can say "extreme makeover," those pesky home, property, or family-related problems will disappear and be but a distant memory in the second half of the month."

I doubt that!

It amuses me that while it's (depressingly) dead on that home and family (my two most despised areas of my life right now) want to suck my attention dry, all the other happy shiny crap seems entirely unlikely. Don't get me wrong, things at work are nice and fuzzy right now, but my job isn't THAT kind of job for that. And I don't even really need to get into the other area here :P

On to another rant, I wanted to post this.

COMMITMENTS
in personal life or career
are total
you either do something with your whole heart and soul
or you don't
lots of people have huge dreads and fears
of being trapped, caught, stifled and strangled
by another person, a job, a boss, kids,
or whatever begins to demand
an intimate and wholehearted connection"

AMEN!!!!

"Many individuals are frightened of this
they all have very valid reasons
some near death experience in their lives"

Called that one!

"has made them terrified of being in a
safe, enclosed space."

Like a cell?

"They jump from relationship to relationship
job to job
place to place
telling themselves they are bored
when in reality
they being to feel choked
and have to run"

Well, okay, I don't do that. I have managed to restrain myself from running so far.

"other people seem to
be able to stick to either another individual
or a career path
or their kids
and not feel they are being encroached upon
or even killed"

Well...I stick, but lately "encroached upon or even killed" is true.

"everyone has a different astrological constellation
that reflects their childhood
and the events that shaped them
right now
with the north node in Aries
the subject has come up again
how can you be connected to a mate
or allow yoruself to be fully engaged in a career path
and manage to find happiness and fulfillment
in your own right
in your own separate life
without feeling you have to give up
yoru freedom
or your independence
or your autonomy
or your personal integrity?"

Damned if I know. I sure feel like it's one or the other. Yeah, sure, if "the right person" or people was involved, anyone who didn't go ballistic about not getting enough attention or could handle their own shit or whatever... but that's more "ideal world" situation to me.

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