2008-08-01, 8:31 a.m.
recently on Chaos Attraction
I have been worrying all week.
Mom is having medical problems of the "nothing's staying in her" variety and needs to get what Dave used to call the "Louisville Slugger" test. I am butt-ass (har) terrified that this will turn out to be cancer or something where I will have to give up my life and move home to wipe her butt. Though on the good news side, her doctor wants her to go on Prozac again. I know from experience she'll probably stop it after a week AGAIN, but eh, I can hope for that week.
Adding to the fun, I have been wondering if ah, I was going to get salary cut like the other state workers (fuck off, Ahnuld). I got an e-mail from some high muckety-muck that said something akin to "Well, we certainly do hope to keep paying people their full salaries, and maybe we can make some arrangements with the gubmint," and since I am an untrusting soul, this sent me down the road to OMFGPARANOIA!111!!! Even though Merry told me it wasn't likely and college workers fall in a different category. But until I got confirmation, I was shitting bricks thinking about how broke I was going to be and how I probably can't afford rent while living alone even with my savings if I'm not getting the full thing, how broke I probably AM (I uh, have been afraid to check my bank accounts since before vacation) already, and what if they start cutting salaries as of August 1 payday, and aarrrrrrrggggggggggghhhhhhhh. At the very least, I'd have to hit Mom up for money, and look for a last-minute roommate, and figure out where to put all the damn furniture, and can I afford a storage space and where am I going to put it all, and aaaaaaarrrrrrggggggggh.
As it turns out, after I finally sucked it up and checked the bank account, I am not nearly as bad off as I thought I was. Go figure. And they finally sent out an e-mail this afternoon saying, "Don't worry, y'all are exempt." So, whew. (Not whew for everyone else though. That is still godawful.)
But my week has been pretty crappy, so my shrink uh, had a fun time dealing with me today. (Especially since the "not you" e-mail came after the session.) She kept saying, repeatedly, STOP WORRYING ABOUT STUFF BEFORE YOU KNOW FOR SURE THE BAD THING IS GONNA HAPPEN.
Um, yeah. Good point.