Chaos Attraction

The Stupid Watch Drama

2011-09-06, 12:14 p.m.

Mom called the second I got off the phone with my shrink today. She finally talked to ex-IB about how she wants the watch back. And he ALREADY GAVE THE WATCH AWAY TO HIS SON. Who is off at college in some town farther away. He said he'd repay her for it and she said no, she wanted the watch. And he was all, "Uh, I'd have to talk to my son and see how he feels about it."

I was all, "NEVER TALK TO THIS MAN AGAIN." As well as, "I AM NOT GOING TO BE INTERMEDIARY FOR YOU ON THIS." She was all, "Well, of course you wouldn't," (as in, "Jennifer never does anything for me EVER," not in any nice kind of way of saying I'm off the hook), "also, his son is in (town redacted) so the soonest I could get it back would be Christmas."

Also, the watch did not cost $1400 as I thought she said. No, it was $4000.

OH DEAR GOD.

She said, "Maybe I should make an appointment with (shrink)." YOU THINK?


Back to the shrink call, which recounted the weekend's drama, of course. I discussed the whole "Nature of Reality" thing I've been going on about, specifically that (a) I spent the weekend dropping anvils of reality on people, and (b) if I embrace Teh Crazy a la Mom with her Very Sincere Beliefs, doesn't that mean that I am also going to go all batshit crazy? Also, (c), do I sound like I'm totally bullshitting people by telling them I'm moving? To the last one, she said no and that was already a big step, something like that.

But as for the anvils of reality, she said, "You've been dropping anvils on yourself for a long time now."

Good point.


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