I find myself relating to this, especially since I am not a phone person. The cell phone is a lot more useful at times, which I can't deny (I originally got it when I was in an LDR and had to call all the time to say how late the train was going to be). And so far I don't get telemarketers calling that one the way they do my landline, which by now I keep unplugged most of the time except for emergencies/blackouts. On the other hand, theoretically being available all the time annoys me. It's uh, kind of amusing in a way that I no longer have cell reception (again) during daylight hours, so the phone's off all day and *cough* I forgot to turn it back on again *cough*.

I do, however, have the world's oldest Nokia with the numbers rubbed off the keypad and it's held together by rubber bands. I obviously need a new one, but I wanted to hold off on such during Budget Cut Season. Now... well, so far things look okay, but I am still nervous about having to do the inevitable buying of a new phone and the inevitable doubling of my phone bill that will come with replacing it (I have the lowest amount of minutes and I can't text what with the keypad being bad, thus my bill is super cheap), and the fact that I will more or less have to commit to 2 years of whatever I do at that moment. And talk with salespeople. Man, I hate that part.

Because now the only option (more or less) is a smartphone with a data plan/net access. Smartphones are obviously the next mandatory leap in technology that everyone is gonna have to have. (If the MILITARY is going to do it...) And naturally, being an Internet hoor, I should get this. I have been trying to talk myself out of it, what with the phone bill doubling and all. But you can't, it's too useful. I should get one with GPS for driving. And so I can have net access if my home system goes out again on a Friday night, as it does about every other year or so. And so I have net access at my mother's house without her bitching about me using her computer (oddly enough, my carrier says I'd get better net reception than actual call reception. Like the place where I spend most of my days, I get no reception at my mother's house in the boonies). And so there's a way to look crap up while I'm on yet another driving trip with said mother.

But what phone to get? DEAR GOD, I DON'T FUCKING CARE. I'd get an iPhone except (a) I have an iTouch which gets that iWhatever jones on just fine, thanks, and (b) I don't want AT&T. I hear the Droids are awesome, and HTC Evo or whatever it's called is especially awesome, but it also comes with extra-expensive-mandatory 4G service, which as far as I can tell, does not actually exist in non-cities. I live in the burbs, so I'll never actually be in a 4G area, so why pay extra for something I can't use because the phone is nifty?

So that leaves me reading a bunch of reviews of every other phone Sprint offers, all of which are "this is the best phone evah" followed by "this is the shittiest phone evah," over and over for 395 reviews. I can't tell what's good and what isn't and the more I read, the more my Nokia looks lovely, even if it doesn't work all that well either.

Really, all I want is GPS and a touchscreen keyboard or pull-out QWERTY, and I'm not at all picky about the rest so long as the phone mostly works. Is that so hard to figure out?

Yes, yes it is.

Jess is the one that came up with the title of this entry, and man, does that sum up the situation for me.

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