Jess suggested I post this, and I shall:

"I thought, in honor of the suck that is my birthday, I would write
you a song to sing for your birthday:

Happy Birthday to me,
Happy Birthday to me,
I live in motherfucking Hell and wish people would leave me
completely and utterly alone for one fucking day in a year if they're
not going to actually going to give a shit about me enough to throw
me even a small birthday partyyyyyyyyyyy,
Happy Birthday to me.

See! I'm all warm and fuzzy inside! Please use my suffering in your
holidailies. It's fun to poke at the depressed! ;-)"

Work party was fun.

There's a chick that works here who dispenses colored fortune cookies every year to like 1,000 people. I've always liked her for that and looked forward to the tradition, but she got a new job somewhere else within the system recently. I was disappointed, like "no more cookies?" But she came to the party and handed out cookies anyway. On the one hand, YAY FOR COOKIES! On the other hand...*sniffle* it's the last year of cookies!

We also did that...I never know what you call that game, the one where people draw numbers and you can steal someone else's gift.

I last did the game two years ago, when people put more weird gifts into the game. I distinctly remember one of those cigarette-dispensing donkeys being a big feature in that one. Last year, they restricted the gifts to candles, socks, and mugs, which I thought was boring as hell and I wasn't going to participate in that. This year, they went back to "anything $5 and under."

I got a cattle-pult to put into the game, because I really wanted to see the reactions that would get, and to see if it would get stolen.

Almost everyone else seemed to have picked out boring stuff, though. Mostly along the lines of...more candles. And some dishes or bath gel and the occasional ornament.

The last time I did the game, I'd had #25 or so and thus had my pick of gifts and got a good one. This time, I got #11 and was not pleased. I ended up with a box of exotic marinades, which I made sure to show off to the oohing and aahing crowd. Someone said, "That's good for you, you like food, right?" The chick next to me asks if I cook, and I go, "Noooooo...." I'm thinking, "Someone who will actually use this steal it from me, please? Or else it's getting regifted."

Ever notice how some people just keep getting their gifts stolen over and over again? I always find that kind of funny how the same one or two people get picked over.

Happily, my marinade stash was stolen by one of the people who kept getting picked on, and I was deelighted. Three gifts were left, so I made sure to feel them up first before I opened one.

I got office toys! Including a mini bowling set! Finally, something up my alley for fun.
Yeah, it's a mean game, but somehow it always ends up working out for me!

My cattle-pult gift got a lot of amusement going on when the chick opened it...and then it got stolen from her by a fellow who would definitely enjoy it more. Coincidentally, he's the one that got the office toys I ended up with. (I told him we have good taste.) I was happy, he was happy, and the other chick stole a cat dish she was eyeing, so we all were happy! I also went into his office and watched him shoot the cattlepult off into his office window blinds- very amusing. He should set points per window blind for where the cows land or something.

Oh, and, speaking of cows...the aforementioned final recipient of the cattle-pult ordered a bunch of cows for the office. Everyone flocked up there when they came in to grab cows. He ended up writing a thank-moo note to them for giving us the cows.

So now my cow has a friend...and um, yeah, now I need to make it an outfit :P

There are now 152 cow photos on that site. I am amazed at the creativity of the people on this campus.

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