RIP Carrie Fisher.

Of all the deaths of 2016, this is the one that pulverizes me.

A few days ago (Thursday), I was in Costco with Meg in Santa Cruz and came across a copy of The Princess Diarist. I wanted to buy it at the time but didn’t because (a) I was already gonna have problems fitting three new items of clothing and a giant knitting book I bought while there into my luggage (did it, though!), much less Another Hardback Book, and (b) maybe I would get it for Christmas (I did not). I gotta go get it now. Of course, everyone else is thinking the same thing, right?

Sadly, I didn’t make it to a bookstore today that had it. I did, however, make it to the Lego store and bought a Leia keychain and wore it around my neck the rest of the day.

That’s it. Next year’s “ugly” Christmas sweater is gonna be a Princess Leia one. I’ve been wanting a Star Wars Christmas sweater for awhile now (I was coveting a Darth Vader Christmas one I saw on one of the guests at Christmas, I approved), but haven’t found one I’ve fallen in love with/had enough Leia on it, so it’s time to DIY. I found online how one converts a photo to cross stitch and went out and got the materials tonight, I’ll sew a cross stitch of her face onto something later. (The knitting pattern version of that I tried making was a lot less specific-looking compared to cross stitch. Which is to say you can actually tell what she looks like in cross stitch.) Maybe put stuff like “LEIA 4-EVA” or “I love you.” “I know.” on it. And Hoth-ish snowflakes.

I’m vaguely debating having a Carrie tribute on the back, with some quotes from her and perhaps a shot of her flipping the bird...well, maybe I can’t wear it in public in so many places if I do that last bit.

My parents weren’t Star Wars people when I was a kid--I have no idea how I saw Return of the Jedi years before the other movies--but I think my first exposure to her was in my favorite movie, When Harry Met Sally. Oh, Marie. Loved her there, but I super love Leia and her badassery. Then again, Carrie Fisher was always an emotional badass.

I saw “Wishful Drinking” onstage at Berkeley Rep years ago. It was glorious. There’s a film of the show if you can find it, go find it. I loved her so hard. It’s one of those moments in life (along with seeing Neil Gaiman doing a Q&A at Berkeley Rep, and pretty much every time I see David Sedaris really) where I was all, “THAT is what I want to do with my life.”* I liked this guy’s recounting of his seeing Wishful Drinking, and writing plays inspired by her.

* though as per last week’s conversations with Meg, I can’t have a life in which I perform on stage a lot, assuming anyone ever wants me to, and yet still have a stable income and health insurance, especially now.

Sure, I’m bothered by all the musical deaths this year--hell, you shoulda heard all the kids in Brookstone today listening to various George Michael songs while we were in there, don’t think the kids haven’t heard of him--but oh, Carrie. Your snark will be missed. General Organa will be missed. And I’m deeply disappointed that “Wishful Drinking Strikes Back” will never exist because she was just about to start it.

“I love you.”
“I know.”

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