Chaos Attraction

New Year's Meme Again

2007-01-01, 9:26 a.m.

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New Year's Meme Again.

If you had a bad year, then the turning and ticking of the clock may not matter much to you. And January may look to hold nothing better than today."

Strictly speaking, very little has changed since 2005. Which is a shame.

1. What did you do in 2006 that youd never done before?
I don't think I did much of anything I hadn't done before, except for certain craft projects and petting a dolphin.

2. Did you keep your new years resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Well, I made attempts...and then petered out. I haven't decided about whether or not to make any this year. I'm not sure there's a point. I could say, "try to write more," but I flake out on that, along with everything else. And god knows I am not in the spirit of self-improvement at the moment. I don't have the energy as long as things stay the way they are (and they will).

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
No.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
My grandpa.

5. What countries did you visit?
Hahahahahahahahah. I didn't even leave the state. Or the region of the state.

6. What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006?
* I'd like to have my dad dead. Hah hah.
* I'd like to be able to go places.
* I'd like to not be on hold.
* I'd like Mom to take care of herself.
* I'd like to get more motivated on writing.
* I'd like to actually figure out how to be happy.

I don't expect to get any of that.

7. What dates from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

I don't think any specifically are etched upon my memory.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Probably doing NaNo this year, because that was kind of a bitch for me.

9. What was your biggest failure?

Let's just cut and paste from last year: As usual, I am an arsehole towards my father.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

No.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

New laptop.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

My shrink's.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

The PITA's, who win every year.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Rent and replacing all of my computer equipment.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Honestly? Nothing really. I've been not all that excited even about stuff that used to get me excited. I'm jealous of people who can bounce off the walls with glee.

16. What song will always remind you of 2006?

I can't think of anything for this category.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder?
Sadder, big surprise.
b) thinner or fatter? About the same.
c) richer or poorer? Poorer.

18. What do you wish youd done more of?

Writing.

19. What do you wish youd done less of?

Screaming at Mom.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?

Spent it at my aunt's.

21. Did you fall in love in 2006?

No. I haven't fallen in love in years and I don't think 2007 will be the year to change that either.

22. How many one-night stands?

Hah. None.

23. What was your favorite TV program?

Veronica Mars, Battlestar Galactica, Project Runway, Heroes.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didnt hate this time last year?

Nah, not really.

25. What was the best book you read?

Sci-fi: Poison Study.

Fiction: Between, Georgia and The Girls.

Chick Lit: Secret Society Girl and The Masque of the Black Tulip.

Nonfiction: I Hate Myself And Want To Die and I Do, But I Don't. (Also "Singled Out," but I haven't written that review yet.)

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?

I got really addicted to the song "Vultures" for some reason. I don't know why. I played it for like two months on constant repeat.

27. What did you want and get?

Books.

28. What did you want and not get?

DVD sets of TV shows.

29. What was your favorite film of this year?

Uh... I'm going to say The Prestige, Little Miss Sunshine, and Stranger Than Fiction. Clerks 2 gets an honorable mention.

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I did nothing on my birthday except go to a lampworking class. I was 28.

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Ending limbo.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006?

Same as usual.

33. What kept you sane?

My shrink.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Same as 2005.

35. What political issue stirred you the most?

Eh...nothing really. I have lost passion for politics.

36. Who did you miss?

I don't really have an answer for this. I'm used to people being gone by now.

37. Who was the best new person you met?

New shrink.

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006.

Some people just won't let go unless forced, no matter what you do.

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

From the aforementioned "Vultures":

Down to the wire
I wanted water but
I'll walk through the fire
If this is what it takes
To take me even higher
Then I'll come through
Like I do
When the world keeps
Testing me, testing me,testing me


I'm not going to celebrate New Year's this year. What new year? My years are never new any more. Every year is "same shit, but worse" year, without exception. In 2008 I'll be saying the same shit as I said here this year.

I'm endlessly tired of "I just can't BEAR to let go and be alone!" talk around here, interspersed with "Should I just pick a date to kill him?". For god's sake. It doesn't matter WHAT people say to you, it doesn't matter what the minister or Mauricio or I say- she will not let him die. She wants God to take him out so it's not on her hands. Period. This will never change. Doesn't matter if she goes broke keeping him alive in a miserable state, we'll just have to hope The Big Quake kills him or something so it's not HER fault he's dead. She says she's trying to make a decision- well, she's made it. She wants him to live as long as inhumanly possible. The end. She may want to change her heart so she can decide otherwise, but I don't think that's happening without a whole lotta therapy. I'm not bothering to waste my breath arguing about it.

Yesterday Dad had a fever of 103 briefly, which led to yet another NDE panic (doesn't this always happen around New Year's?) and Mom calling up some nurse she knows, blubbering, "Is this a sign that I should kill him?" As per usual, that was a false alarm. Whee.

New year, schmue year. Same shit every year.


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