Chaos Attraction

Ain't No Cure For The January Blues

2005-01-02, 6:15 p.m.

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"Growing up, my mom always said that New Years Day was like the entire year in miniature. Whatever you did that day forecasted what you would be doing all year long. I rarely have a good January first. I crumble under the pressure."

Yikes. Just...yikes.

I haven't done much today. It's pouring rain out and has all day. I slept till noon. I sat around knitting and doing Fair Isle patterning on the top of the sweater, which so far is going very well. And sat with the cat on my lap for hours. And am now watching Farscape.

Had to call Mom, which was of course depressing. Dad had "another incident" at the PITA's last night, of the eyes-going-back-and-forth thing, right in front of the family. Naturally everyone freaked out, but there wasn't any point in going to the hospital for it again.

Can you tell I'm feeling depressed?

I get this every January through February 14 (well, the February bit is for obvious reasons of "I hate Valentine's Day"). No, it's not a case of SAD- I don't feel all that bleechy without purpose the rest of the winter. (When I feel crappy then, it's because something crappy happened.) It's really a January thing.

I bitch about it every year. After the first and the one three-day-weekend, nothing goes on. The weather stinks. It's boring and unpleasant and a struggle to get anywhere.

Adding to my usual January blahs this year, I have Dad getting worse and Jess fleeing the coop. Whee! I guess this year I have reason to be depressed for the season.

The ironic thing was that before the holidays, I was actually looking forward to January. Having more free time, doing more physical activity, etc., sounded fun. Now I just feel like I'm going to be depressed all winter.

I'm tired of everything sucking.

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