Chaos Attraction

Last Day of Relaxation

2021-01-03, 10:07 p.m.

recently on Chaos Attraction
The Most Meta Play Ever - 2021-01-10
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I and You - 2021-01-07
Magical Ice Hotel Wedding - 2021-01-06
Back To Crappy Real Life Again - 2021-01-04


Cast list as of November 2019

Vacation, Day 16 (sigh, last day)
Hours of sleep: 8 or 9, I forget, but it was pretty good. Looking at my record for the last two weeks, I'm out of sleep debt, I got at least 7 hours a night or more, and I only woke up in the middle of the night five times. Go me! So that's how I normally naturally sleep if I didn't have to work for the rest of my life and don't have to get up early because I don't have to get up.
Exercise: Did 90 minutes of walking by my definition, an hour by the watch's.
Butterfly sweater: Finished it today!
Patchwork sweater: I'm redoing the sleeves. I can't stand them being too short.

Other Activities:
Collage group:

Meditation today: what do you want to get rid of (I said "stress," but that's not happening) and what do you want, well, already said that.

* Jade showed off her music-themed collage. I noticed that she wanted a musical partnership and I asked if she was looking for local only or was international all right and she said all of the above, as she's partnering both with a local (eventually in person) and with someone in Uruguay.
* Sarah Brown showed off her stamp-themed collage, mostly travel-related for after the pandemic ends.
* Meg is still painting her bowl with underglazes, isn't sure what to do with a second bowl yet. She liked that mine had a specific theme and I said well, I did that after I did a generic, post-pandemic one first.
* As for Doreen, she hasn't started putting stuff down yet, but I think we've had a revelation here She said she got fascinated by....I forget the name, but some kind of sail and started looking things up on it.. Turns out that Doreen spent 12 years living on a boat with her husband, and really, she just wants to go sailing. No wonder she couldn't get excited about buying another house or picking a location to settle down in.... Anyway, while that seems to be Yet Another Thing That Has To Wait For After the Pandemic (sigh), at least she's got an idea! So that's something!

Other than that, Meg was talking about how she wished she'd stood up to her boss back in the day when she was getting bullied. I said actually I think it's a good thing she didn't do that, because even if she feels regretful that she didn't stand up for herself, like 10 years later, it's HIGHLY LIKELY it would have made things worse. Especially with a bullying boss trying to drive you out of the job--they have all the power and your saying "Please don't call me every morning to scream at me" isn't something you can do! I said that I have to think it out thoroughly as to whether or not I'm going to say something to somebody and whether or not they are just going to lose their shit at me if I do.

She said she had to quit the job or it would kill her and she admired that I didn't quit, but I said I don't have a husband to take care of me and if I don't have the job, I die. (Yes, having to go back tomorrow is creeping back into my brain.) I do not like knowing that by 10 a.m. at the latest tomorrow I'll be feeling like shit again. This feeling of "every day is Saturday" for the last two weeks has been lovely, but not realistic that I continue to feel as fine as I was doing. Gotta stick my hand back into the gom jabbar if I want to survive. It's not like there's anything else I want to do for a career that has a regular paycheck and health insurance and isn't expendable. I think the people who left working here knew what they wanted to do and somehow the universe went along with it. Whereas I frankly have a list of "I don't want" but don't really have an "I want."

Doreen was talking about imagining all the possibilities, but that's never been something I can do. I learned around age 5 that I don't have all of the possibilities available to me, some things I am just born inadequate to do and never will be able to manage. I need to work with what I've got and what I can do and most especially, what people need me to fit into the box to do. I canNOT manage being an entrepreneur and my heart sinks to the floor at the idea of running my own business, so.... well, the usual. Yes, I know I argue for my limitations and they're mine, but if I can't get anything done practically, it doesn't happen. And health insurance is THE priority over everything else. Period.
Gotta get back into work mode, what can I say.

Today's Viewing:
I'm still watching Hallmark, just not the Christmas movies.

Love's Complicated: I guess this is the sort of thing they show in January? "Based on the book 'My Life As A Doormat.'"
"It's just 310 pages of rainbows." So Leah is having the sophomore slump on writing her second book, since her first one was based off her own life and this character is...not. Also, she won't confront anyone. The editor(?) rejects it(?) or has notes, or something. She has a perfectly bland relationship with Edward, who gets all upset at her ordering a flaming crepe Suzette, so she goes back to her old Dover sole. He also gets uncomfortable with her wearing a REALLY SHORT red dress, but it's too late to change now.
She runs into a book reviewer who dissed her. (His name is Cinco?!) He hands her his wine and tells her to throw it in his face. She quietly drinks it instead. I'm going to note that Leah is a senator's daughter IRL
Edward buys her a conflict resolution class. "Maybe we should deal with conflict in a healthy, proactive way," he says, selling it as saving their relationship. Leah assumes Edward's also in the class, but uh....nope, he's not. Cinco walks in, with his court order. "One word: awkward!" he says. Leah, when asked about Edward, lies and says that Edward is her "second cousin" and makes up a big ol' lie about kidney surgery. Cinco immediately calls her out on this. Cinco literally bitches about her on his radio show later on and she calls in "anonymously" and uh....does terribly at it.
I'm gonna note his name is "Cinco Devlin." DEVLIN?!
Anyway, the class is forced to go to the grocery store and hold up the line by being as obnoxious as possible, i.e. haggle for 10 cents and yell and be obnoxious. I shudder at this SO MUCH. Even worse, some woman who knows Leah is also in line to hear all of this.
Cinco then rants about Leah on the air again, Leah feels compelled to call him back "anonymously" again, he literally calls her out as "Leah" on the air, she hangs up....oh good lord. I think she has a point though about how DUDE, YOU JUST KEEP PUSHING AND NOT SHUTTING UP. She says as a fake name she didn't have to "do the right thing" like Leah has to. Well, good point.
(I'm gonna note that she's not calling anonymously per se--she calls herself "Jodi Bellarussa" after her current book character. Isn't that going to out her as being that person once the book comes out?)
You will be unshocked to hear that Cinco's dad is just as argumentative as he is, kettle and pot, apple falling from tree, etc.
Edward proposes. Leah feels forced into saying yes. Leah is forced to take an outfit back in class, which she gets rather...fierce about, and then outs the whole wedding thing to the class.
Leah to Edward: "Sometimes I need to order the flaming pancakes." "Okay????" She breaks up with him off-camera after that.
Leah's publisher can't stand the new book. She agrees to go into debt to repay the advance. (Editor lady likes it, though?) I guess... they're gonna do it anyway though? New title: "My Life As A Doormat." It's a hit! Cinco goes to her book party and asks her to be his girlfriend.
I think overall this is pretty good, but ah argumentative guy...not my favorite. He says she's funny and she never cracks a joke (albeit he says she doesn't know she's funny....)...I guess I just don't get why either would be into teach other?

Taking a Shot at Love: the hockey player does ballet movie!
Jenna has rehabbed her own ankle via ballet in the past, so her sports agent cousin recommends his client, Coop, to go work with her. He does wonder if this is going to turn into "The Cutting Edge," which I think is legitimate, hah. She's lost a few clients and her rent is going up (though she has the politest relationship with her landlord ever).. He is disappointed when he goes into her house, thinking it's the guest house. "You're acting like I'm taking you to an abandoned shack."
I'm actually impressed with the town of Avon for having winter activities every weekend in January. I speak as someone who used to go to tons of festivals: VERY FEW OF THEM HAPPEN IN JANUARY. The train show and that's about it here. Usually people are pooped out, broke and cold in January and therefore do nothing.
I love how she is all "You missed your private lesson at noon, so you're gonna have to do it with the little kids today now that you're late."
Anyway, they hang out, they have fun, they play games. Coop bonds with the hockey playing/dancer kid at the studio, Felix. It's fun.
"Who knew that hockey and ballet were so similar?"
I love how after he has his first hockey game, he drives back to see the ballet show, gives Jenna a lovely plug, and does a pirouette in his suit. I bet all the jocks come running to sign up now!
This was all very cute. Yay.

Last Chance for Christmas (Lifetime):
On the one hand, we have Annie who owns a reindeer ranch in Alaska and the bank/town owner/uh, bad guys are going to get it away from her by any means necessary. She's such a non-believer that her little daughter Madison actively knows Santa isn't real.
On the other hand, we have John Stockman, stable master at the North Pole, who tells Santa that Prancer's got a bad hoof and can't fly this year. He heads to Alaska to try to get another reindeer, but Annie keeps suspecting he works for the evil bank and it takes her quite a while to even talk to him.
Meanwhile, Mrs. Claus, WHO IS SERIOUSLY GOING ON THE NAUGHTY LIST FOR THIS, straight up tells John to steal a reindeer. And when he won't do it, she sends Randy the pilot and two elves to steal Annie's kid's favorite reindeer, Frankie. I know you gotta save Christmas, but seriously, REINDEER STEALING?! Bad Mrs. Claus! Bad! Bad! Annie assumes John did it, of course. John complains to Randy the pilot and makes him come get him.
John argues the point of ethics: he'll bring the reindeer and sleigh to Alaska, prove the whole Santa thing to the family, then politely ask permission. The elves are all "Yeah, I think he just has a crush on the mom." Meanwhile, I want to know how a reindeer who's never flown before or pulled a sleigh is going to handle this shit cold with no practice. Then the bank steals Santa's reindeer (and Frankie) while John is trying to track the family down. Oh brother. "What kind of a person would steal a reindeer?" Mrs. Claus says, and John just LOOKS AT HER all bug-eyed....
Okay, I don't like Banker Thief Dude, but it is sad that all he wanted as a kid was a sled and his parents took it away from him. The fuck?
That said, fucker won't give up the reindeer until Annie signs away the ranch...and she does. However, little Madison hugging him gets him to de-Scrooge and rip up the contract.
Santa asks politely to borrow Frankie and Mrs. Claus apologizes.

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