I have arranged to take Inauguration Day off from work, because if anything explodes I am NOT gonna be able to concentrate on work. And said as much.

I am happy to announce that my giant org is (probably?) NOT going to be budget cut after all. I also read that as of yesterday, 84 people at giant org are in quarantine on the premises. I remember when they were all, "We've only had six people come up positive!" I'm not checking local numbers any more.

My, my, politics is interesting these days. Freaking evil Mitch is turning, no less. And the congresspeople are coming down with it, because of course they are.

I did not set off the fire alarm while making toasted/garlic bread tonight! I think going over 400 on the heat is doing it, so i just cooked at 400 and it came out great, not even burn-y. In other news, I spent like 15 minutes setting up the dang Brita filter I bought months ago (Safeway shorted me on my water order, so I'm gonna be forced to use the thing finally) and wondering if I'm too stupid to figure out how to put the filter in, because the grooves on the thing I'm supposed to be easily finding were...not so easy to find. Or else I'm an idiot. Anyway, apparently you have to go through three pitchers before you can actually USE it because there's carbon in the water or something, so use it for your plants!

Tonight I attended an improv class on Virtual Improvisation for Monologues and Story-telling through Everett Improv in Washington. Britney, the lady running that show, is a hoot and dubbed me "the boss" when asking me how long to wait for late people. (Me: "Well, depends on how much you need to get into while waiting for people to wander in at the beginning.") Anyway, this wasn't what I expected--I think I expected we'd be talking more about monologues, though I suppose that did happen towards the end. It was very all about the word games.

Metaphors-similes
Extreme detail
Emotional/physical states
Vocabulary
Perspective
Structure-chronology
Heighten/expand/extrapolate
Button-takeaway.
Change the perspective of the story
Turn nouns into verbs
Should have a relationship in anything you talk about.

Intro world/protagonist
Establish normality/rules/goals/stakes
Catalyst-problem/conflict
Domino effects, plot/action
Climax- defining moment of journey
Resolution/button/emotional take away/conclusion.

First off we were to come up with some boring sentence ("This pet food is too expensive") and then rephrase it in some other way--I did stuff like "Hey, can I get a discount on this Iams?" Then we were to put a random word into chat and then someone had to try to turn the ideas in those words into a headline.
Then we had to tell a story (presumably from real life) following the list of story order above. I decided to tell about the latest work scandal of 'I wanna refund," with a button of "If you're gonna protest, aim it in the right direction."
Then we finally had to ramble about a topic (chosen for us) with a metaphor (also chosen for us). I had to complain about mac 'n cheese while talking about raising kids. To which I was all, "you ever want a kid who's less....sloppy and messy and soupy? You just want a DRY CHILD?" Hahahahah.

Tonight's Viewing:

I am finally laying off the Hallmark and watching Bridgerton already. I've been going back and forth about whether or not to watch it. On the one hand, enjoyed the books. On the other hand, I'm "eh" on Shonda Rhimes shows. On a nonexistent tail, I've heard VERY MIXED REVIEWS about the show.

Episode 1, "A Diamond Of The First Water." I get that that's a snobby compliment, but "first water?!" Diamonds aren't....wet? Je ne comprends pas.
The Featherington girls and Daphne Bridgerton are all getting presented to the Queen (a person of color, because Shondaland is like that). The queen looks bored AF. And then one of the F-girls--presumably the one that was overcorseted--passes out.
Meanwhile, look at adorable Daphne in her crown and giant feathers and decorous little boobies popping out of her dress! She looks innocent AF, one must say. The queen looks only slightly less bored, or at least she sits up more--OH WAIT, SHE'S COMING OVER. She kisses Daphne on the forehead and dubs her "flawless."
I did not expect Julie Andrews to say the word "bitches," but here we are. She is the Gossip Girl voice of this show.
"I merely simpered and pranced in a dress like anyone else," Daphne says.
I'm still wondering why "Lady Whistledown" for the alias. "She calls you a diamond of the first water." Seriously, someone explain to me "first water."
Penelope's family is a bunch of turds. (And honestly, Nicola Coughlan looks better as a blonde than with that awful orange wig. Poor girl.) "Remember to be kind, ladies. The poor are our burden." That said, distant cousin Marina looks all right, if a bit ... I dunno, farm girl dressed down in this pack.
Meet the dashing duke in his giant hat, and his awesome relative Lady Danbury (also of color). I note he doesn't look her in the eye. "Your regrets are denied," she says.
Anthony is banging an opera singer. VERY LOUDLY. Like he's a furniture smasher. Hello, that's a lot of naked.
Yes, this show is playing "thank u, next" in orchestral version, just to fuck with you. How very Reign of you.
Anthony tells Daphne all the problems with all the dudes. She is all "I'm getting my own lemonade, thankyouverymuch." She regrets it because she's immediately trying to get away from a dude, and when she accidentally lands into Simon Basset, Hottie Duke, he's all annoyed at yet another girl coming after him.
Lady F looks super pleased (not) to find that nobody wants her hordes of girls and are all swooning over the "dowdy" cousin.
Miss First Water ends up leaving the dance, having not actually danced. This seems...kinda ridiculous. She thinks all the boys will be coming to her yard, but...nooooooo....
"Girls Like You," instrumental version, plays at the Featherington's as Marina gets all the boys at HER yard.
Finally, a dude shows up for Daphne and Anthony is Mr. Buzzkill. Also, it's Nigel Berbrooke the insta-stalker.
Well, at least Penelope seems to have gotten a dog out of this.
"This is all I am. No other value." If I don't get married, I'm useless, Daphne says. SOME THINGS NEVER CHANGE.
Simon and Anthony give each other shit over their marital status.
"Lady Whisteldown only writes what she sees. We must make her see more clearly." -Lady D
"Reformed rakes make the very best of husbands." -legendary line of Regency romances, y'all, though IRL...no.
Anthony coldly breaks up with his opera singer girlfriend.
So far, not loving this show even though it is very pretty.
POOR PENELOPE: short, round, and someone shoved her drink on her favorite dress. Colin rescues her, thank goodness. She looks cuter with her hair down, at least.
Anthony has decided to forcibly marry Daphne to Nigel, as technically there is nothing wrong with him.
Marina is home.... pregnant. Country girls gotta country, I guess.
Nigel's never hurt a woman, you say, Anthony? Daphne just had to punch the dude. Simon is impressed. They come up with a solution to their "Lady Whistledown issue" by faking a relationship. I'm not clear on his logic, but...whatever. They give each other sexy eyes at the ball.

Episode 2; Shock and Delight
Flashback to Simon's birth. Yup, his dad is a dick. HIs mom was Lady D's sister, and dies after. Lady W is delighted. Daphne and Simon negotiate balls and flowers.
"Because her condition is catching!" I see, we're going to take advantage of how girls aren't told a damn thing about how babies are made. Oh dear lord, Penelope's yellow dress with the flowers on it. Eloise wants Penelope to find out how babies are made. Then Eloise asks how one becomes with child without marriage...to the entire family. "Have you ever visited a farm, El?"
Simon boxes. No wonder he enjoyed Daphne's right hook. Anthony chews him out for going after his sister.
Flashback: Simon's not great with speaking as a small child, his dad yells at him that they only get to keep the dukedom if they remain "extraordinary" and "this boy is dead to me." Look, dude, I get the pressure you're under, but the fuck? He's like, four.
Penelope asks Marina how babies are made. "How did it happen?" "Cake." "Cake?!" A guy would sneak her food during church. "I've never longed for church quite so much." Alas, the babydaddy is off fighting.
The queen is bored and wants SOMEONE to get engaged already, so she asks Violet to tea.
Flashback: Lady D introduces herself to little Simon, who stutters. She points out that one can only hide for so long, so she "made myself frightening." "I made myself the most terrifying creature in any room I entered." She will help him with the stammer, dammit!
I love how Simon totally outs Daphne needing to punch Nigel. Anthony breaks that engagement right off. Yay! Daphne gets mad at Simon for trying. Oh, come on, Daph, you're a woman and nobody listens to most of them. He got rid of Nigel for you in some respects.
"When I am buying a horse, I do not negotiate with the horse," Nigel says. I HATE NIGEL. Also, he implies Daphne is damaged goods. Ew. DON'T PICK A FIGHT WITH A BOXER, NIGEL. He'll punch you a lot more than Daphne did.
Flashback: Lady D, Dickhead Dad, and Simon. "You are my worst failure," he says to Simon's face, and tells Lady D to keep her bitch mouth shut. He basically disowns a kid. DAD CAN BURN IN HELL AND I HOPE HE DOES.
Pen and Eloise agree that "love" doesn't make sense as an answer, especially given how many Featheringtons there are.
Oh no, Nigel is running around with a battered face and claiming he got a marriage license. He outs that Daphne was out at night. Ughhhhhhhhhh. Anthony is gonna duel. Daphne has no choice but to marry Nigel.
WAIT, THE QUEEN SNORTS COKE!?! At tea?! (Oh, excuse me, "snuff.") She uh...wants Daphne to live up to her potential. They have to have Nigel's mother to tea and she thinks he's perfect. Meanwhile, the Bridgerton maid gossips with the Berbrooke maid and finds out that NIgel has an illegitimate child he abandoned. GOSSIP GOES AROUND. Lady W shames the shit out of him.
Eloise is freaked out about pregnancy after her mom's last one, and points out that Daphne needs to pretend....a lot.
"I will not tolerate a bully," says Simon. Daphne has decided to take charge of her own life. I cannot peg the song during this song but clearly it's a modern one.
Here's the thing: I absolutely hate Simon's dad, both book and filmed version. Simon telling his dad he'll never carry on the line on his dad's deathbed is choice (from what I recall, he didn't have the option to say so in the book). However, in execution, uh....

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