Chaos Attraction

THAT Episode of Bridgerton

2021-01-14, 9:02 p.m.

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Cast list as of November 2019

Today at work was boring, for the most part. Somehow we are finally running low on workload, so there was a lot of piddling going on and me doing stuff like "Hm, let me look through lists of addresses and see if anyone ever wrote me back in the Pending box." Yawn. So dull. I only had one 10 minute Zoom meeting and my boss and grandboss are out tomorrow. Claire is throwing another Zoom party during my work hours, I may just have it on while at work for the heck of it.

Mom clearly got better emails from our HMO than I did. She got a phone number to call for being 65 and up and she said the wait was 5+ hours and she hung up.

The library is bringing back curbside service, after having been not doing it for .... I think a few months. I wonder why they're bringing it back NOW when everything is getting worse? That makes no sense.

I forgot I wrote down a few quotes from the office "birthday party:"
"What part of the house did you go to?"
"I took a vacation to the second bedroom."

Tonight's Viewing:

Bridgerton, Episode 5: "The Duke and I."
"I'm engaged." Daphne hints that they need to get married ASAP. Daphne is having a hard time faking happy about it.
I love that this queen ha a ton of little yappy dogs.
The prince takes it well, but asks if she's being "If anything, I am the one forcing him."
Simon looks about as ecstatic as Daphne does, i.e. brooding. He won't even hold her hand!
Siena has bugged off. Fuck you, Anthony!
Colin calls on Marina. Penelope tries to head this off. Pen is looking quite lovely there, I must say. She looks cute in pink and with her hair down.
Cressida points out that she saw Daphne getting compromised. You toyed with the duke and then the prince and then lured the prince into marriage....well, um, yeah, sure looks that way. "You can either be a duchess's friend or enemy," Daphne points out.
"Am I to believe you truly long for fresh pickles and sauerkraut?"
They get denied for a quickie wedding, which means that Cressida and presumably Lady Whistledown can spread rumors all over town. Lady D suggests making a personal appear to the Queen.
Benedict goes off to have an artists' orgy, and walks in on his new buddy boinking a dude. Benedict has a threesome, just to prove his heterosexuality Marina negotiates with Lady F regarding getting Colin to propose over Lord Rutledge, and saying she'll boink him before the wedding if she has to. Penelope listens at the door. .
Oh look, here's the mad King George. He's still focusing on a dead girl. He accuses his wife of killing their daughter and has to be held down.
Simon, of all people, manages to romantically and persuasively argue for the growing love between him and her that came from friendship. That seems to hit a nerve with the queen. Haste to the wedding! Simon continues to look like a frozen corpse at it, or like he's going to pass out (the roundabout camera angle they try with him looks like he's about to collapse, geez). Daphne, of course, looks the most ingenue of ingenues. It's a very small wedding, family only. It's not a happy one. Cressida is all, "Enjoy your triumph, your Grace." Penelope tries to point Marina at literally anyone else, saying she doesn't want Colin to be tricked. "Should I perhaps entrap a bad man, then?" says Marina. I'll be a good wife to him! Also, Lord Rutledge proposed to someone else this morning. Pen and Eloise bump into each other and flee and look sick. Marina drags Colin away somewhere private and he does NOT compromise her. Good job, Colin. "I am a lady," she says, EXTREMELY AWKWARDLY. And yet, he proposes ANYWAY. Damn, Colin. But he won't announce it and he
wants a big wedding at the end of the season. SO CLOSE AND YET SO FAR.
Eloise asks Lady D if she's Lady W, which she denies. Then the queen comes up and is all WHAT IS YOUR EVIDENCE TELL YOUR QUEEN NOW. Eloise has her theories about it being a widow. Benedict is introduced to the wife of his new gay friend.
Daphne is having whopping regrets about that children thing, apparently. And speaking of, it's time for The Talk with Mom about how babies are made! Don't eat too much beforehand, she says. Violet is hoping Daphne knows something from the duke already, but "If it is this difficult to discuss, how difficult is it to perform?" LEGIT QUESTION. Dogs can figure out how to bone just fine...yes, this is legitimately what Violet is saying as The Talk. Daphne asks if they can still have sex if the duke can't have kids. (Uh...depends on factors that aren't in this show.) "I still have so many questions, Mamma," and TOO LATE NOW.
Francesca: still not here even for her sister's wedding. Francesca is like the missing twelfth kid in Cheaper By The Dozen.
Surprise! Not only is our wedding night in an inn, I got a separate room, says Simon. GEEZ, DUDE. Not that this lasts long. "I am yours, Daphne. I have always been yours." "Why do you think I followed you into that garden?" "Why do you think I WENT into that garden?!" It's all very romantic. SEXYTIMES ENSUE. Lots of closeups of Daphne's face. Simon pulls out to the side. I feel like this girl should get an Oscar for the amount of O-face.

Episode 6, "Swish." SWISH?
"Congratulations and stamina," wishes Lady W of the happy couple. (Which is a funny joke, but since I read the books and know who Lady W is, it makes me wonder how that joke came about.) Simon declines lunch and a tour to show her the bedroom, which they will be sharing.
"The queen herself has charged me with finding out Lady Whistledown's identity," brags Eloise (also to distract her mamma from debut prep).
Colin announces his engagement. Violet looks surprisingly unthrilled. ""I should have taken you to brothels," Anthony complains about Colin proposing to the first girl he sees.
Daphne says she needs to hit it off with the housekeeper. She may not be doing that so well since Daphne mentions redecorating and giving the servants some time off to attend a festival. Simon is all "decorate however you like!" Daphne moves all the way to his side of the dinner table. They re very cute together, but I feel awkward for the servants having to stand there and watch the horny. They go outside to bang in the rain. They bang to an orchestral version of "Wildest Dreams." Simon dramatically dick pulls and she asks, "Does that hurt?" They bang everywhere, in broad daylight. I'm glad they're enjoying themselves, but I feel so sorry for the staff. "Whatever will the staff think?" "Does it mater?" They're all listening at the door! "Our activities are quite ... spirited...." Daphne thought his inability to have children might impede something. She and the maid laugh.
Colin says Marina is the only one that takes him seriously. Penelope is giving Marina the cold shoulder and Marina is trying to make up to her. "I would never bring scandal on you or our family, if that is what you ask. But I do not condone your actions." Marina goes to the modiste (Siena's friend) and tells her in French, "I know you're not actually French." Never mind the bill, madame.
At the fete: "What is the prize for the winner?" "Slaughter, of course." Um, whee. That was a mistake, because now she wants to save ALL the pigs. They talk to a tenant and he says the rent has gone up, a lot. We'll look into it. Simon thinks he's gotten lucky that Daphne seems okay with not having kids.
"Swish." Uh....Marina's asked to swing her hips at that command. That was weird. Penelope is having a horrible time stomaching it all at dinner with the Bridgertons. Her idea of trying to stop the wedding is telling Coiln that Marina loves/loved someone else. Colin doesn't care.
Fun fact: Daphne's embroidery is "like a battlefield." Other fun fact: don't ask one of the Featheringtons to sing, good god, that girl is hoarse.
Marina says her family doesn't want her and she was hoping to be accepted by the Bridgertons. Moving up the date, I see. Let's elope to Scotland, Colin says.
For once, Simon is more concerned with work than with boning. At least he's taking responsibility. Daphne goes to help make up gift baskets and the housekeeper tells her to ask for things. Nobody wants them. Daphne asks her new friend, a giantly pregnant woman, and she points out that the three pigs thing means that nobody won a contract. Oh no! Then she comes home and finds that Simon's...redecorating? Daphne apologizes to Mrs. Colson, who ends up telling her about Simon's unhappy childhood (well, not a lot) and mostly that Shitty Dad and his wife had problems and Mrs. C told the duchess she needed "strong, healthy seed" to have a child. HMMMMM.
Penelope fakes sick and snoops in her mom's desk and deduces that the last letter from George was a forgery, and tells Marina. But he still hasn't replied to me, says Marina. "I was a fool. This changes nothing." She burns them. Marina deduces that Penelope loves Colin and tells her that Colin isn't interested in her, even if it hurts her feelings.
After another boning session, Daphne's getting suspicious. She asks the maid how women get pregnant. "My mother told me nothing. Please. No embarrassment." Sadly, we don't get to watch that explanation. Daphne stays decorously on the far side of the table, eyeing the pork, later. She fakes being asleep.
And here we go with the infamous rape scene, in which Daphne hops on top and keeps on going. He says, "wait, wait" a few times (not very loudly) an well, there he goes. An then he figures it out from the look on her face. She walks away. How could you? How could I? You lied to me and I trusted you. "You seized an opportunity. I did the same." He claims he thought she knew what he was doing. She stomps out. I don't even know what to say about this. Daphne lies on her back with her knees up.
"Some battles leave no victor," says Lady Whistledown. Penelope goes to Eloise and starts crying. And speaking of, Lady Whistledown outs Marina's pregnancy. "Can the ends justify such wretched means?"

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