(written while still at the parents' house.)

It's been kind of unpleasant and yet not unpleasant here so far. Mom and Dad haven't started in on griping at me yet, which is great. Things would be quite pleasant here if not for- you may have guessed it- my stinking relatives, the PITAS. On Friday night when they picked me up, Mom hissed to me that Dad er, wasn't doing well. Why? Because Uncle Bruce had decided to build Dad a ramp on the front door of the house. Which wasn't exactly logical because even when he could walk, Dad never used the front door. (What they could really use is a ramp on the garage door, but Mom said she didn't want to let Uncle Bruce in there and hear him tell her to move stuff.) Mom was pissed because she didn't want people to be able to tell that an invalid lived there. Huh? So they were already in a rocky mood.

Then today, Uncle Bruce and Auntie Dolores decided to pop on over and make everyone feel like shit. Auntie D. was well, being an idiot, and both of them were insulting Mom and being clueless gits about the situation. They were claiming she leaves him alone all the time and that "he never gets to go out in the sunshine." (Mom hauls him out almost all the time, EXCEPT when I'm home so we can get some private time.) They are insisting on building a high railing on the ramp "so he can lift himself up." Believe me, he can't. And they won't accept it or pay attention to that. They also decided for us that Dad's scooter (which he can't get into by himself either) should be moved INSIDE the house by the front door so Dad can go "take a walk" by himself. Note that the scooter isn't meant for cruising on carpet.

The worst part of the visit was when they bitched at Mom because Dad can't get into the room where he has his trains (note: also the room where the front door is.), and told her that she should get rid of her favorite couch and table in there so he could get in and play with his trains. (I don't think furniture removal would help much, since they take up most of the room.) When Mom said she didn't want to give them up, Auntie D. said "Well, he's had to give everything up, you should too."

NICE. Bitch.

That depressed the hell out of my parents for the rest of the day. Ruined it for them, really. Mom obviously couldn't stop feeling bad and guilty. She and I were going to go out shopping alone, but now she felt like she had to drag Dad along on every single errand. (Made things awkward with a wheelchair and cart in Costco.) They both spent all day stewing over their remarks. It was rather sad.

Mom's still ready to kill D&B. Seriously, she really wants to rip them a new one. I am trying to talk her out of it, as (a) of all the stubborn people who don't listen in this family, D&B are the WORST, and (b) they hold grudges. It will not do her a lick of good to speak up, and it will do her harm. It's especially not good when it's in-laws. Meanwhile, Dad's been having a few emotional breakdowns a day since I got here. And guess what, the PITAS are returning on Monday.

Some good did come out of the day. Mom got me some lunch supplies for cheap and in bulk. (I wanted to hit Dad when he griped "What part of this are you going to pay for?") And I got to spend a B&N gift certificate, so that made me happy.

Every time I come home, I feel evil. I cannot stand to hear Dad's voice as it is now, ruined and incoherent. It hurts my ears every time he starts to babble and I don't understand a single goddamn syllable of what he is trying to say. And then I have to ask him to repeat it, even having to stop him talking in the middle of a long sentence because I haven't understood even a tiny bit of what he's said already. And then we get to go over again four, five, six, ten, twelve times. God, if this ever happens to me I'd rather keep silent forever than communicate that painfully. I'd just type. I am such the evil bitch for saying this. It fucking hurts to see and hear him. There's never a moment when I can still think of him as my old dad. Just this thing it made him into.

In other news, Dave's second interview was a bust- he REALLY didn't want to do that job and ended up leaving early. It was one of those guilt-tripping professions. Part of me can't blame him because it sounded horrid and the other part wishes he could have tolerated it for even a few days so he�d get SOME cash. He does have 2 interviews and a job fair next week, at least, and is attempting to get unemployment again. Who knows.

In the category of stupid things done in life today, #1 was Scott walking al the way from one town to another and back to donate plasma to get money. On an injured leg THAT NEEDS SURGERY. Without bringing a cell phone.

#2 was him calling Dave to tell him about this AND making him promise not to tell Demma.

#3 was Dave calling me to make me call Demma and tattle, since if she didn't find out, Scott would certainly do it again and who knows what would happen. I REALLY did not want to tattle. I REALLY did not want to get into the middle of this.

#4 was me caving in. "I'm gonna kill him," she said. "I figured."

#5 was me doing this call right when Mom was likely to walk into the room and of course, getting caught at it. Then getting chewed out for not minding my own business and not letting Scott fuck up his body if he wants to. (Though ironically enough, she changed her mind on that later. Go figure.)

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