Chaos Attraction

Foolish Mortals

2018-01-20, 4:02 p.m.

Rehearsal 1/19:

We did “This Is Me” some more, it’s coming out really well. Huzzah! The two folks that uh....are incredibly bad at dancing were pulled out of most of the dance number, thank goodness. Instead they got told to uh...I guess stand around in the back? Well, they got told to just dance around in the back but since they don’t dance, I dunno there...

This was followed up by yet another rehearsal of the entire creation number. I am kind of baffled that the middle dance with Adam and Eve is uh...not finished? What the heck? I don’t really get how these rehearsals go at times.

I thought that at some point they were actually going to go over what is happening with the quotes (they may have gone over this on Tuesdays when I’m not here), but that seems to have been dropped entirely? Instead they just went on to rehearse the individual dance numbers that I’m not in (I can’t help but note that the same 8 to 12 people are in ... all of them?) and I got out early. On the one hand, slightly annoying, on the other hand, hey, I’m home by 9:15.

Other news: they have no idea what we’re supposed to do for costumes yet but I guess we have to come up with them next week, you can get two comp tickets but only if you send them to the Saturday matinee. The matinee never sells out so “we can control that,” Friday might sell out, Saturday usually does and is crazy.

Rehearsal 1/20:

I had to miss the Women’s March. Grr, argh.

The first hour or so of rehearsal was doing “Born This Way,” the finale number. I gather this is done every year and most people one way or another already knew what was going on, but I had no idea. That may be something they rehearsed on the day I was at the CC instead, I don’t know. Everyone goes out and dances in different groups for a few counts, there’s some chorus numbers, and then everyone bows. I got the chorus dance, I got the small group number (I wasn’t too thrilled to have the bad dancers in my group, but I swear all the groups except the dancer pack were doing worse than us!), but dear god, I flubbed the “BOW ON FIVE!” twice (again, remember that *I* haven’t done it before for the last bunch of years!) and they were not happy with me. And that got filmed. Ugh.

I don’t really like being in the Crap Dancer group(s). Clearly there’s a certain pack of people who get cast in every single specialty dance number, and lord knows I’ll never be perfect/thin/flexible enough for that. There’s the people who normally don’t do any dancing in their usual life. (And then there’s the few people who are even more painful to watch because it doesn’t look like they are getting any of it at all no matter how much they rehearse.) But shoot, shouldn’t I at least be in some kind of group 2 middle between the perfect dancers and the non dancers or something?

Except today I was flubby a fair amount so...yes, I do stink. Sigh.

The second hour was doing the “Deep Forest” number again, in which what we’re doing got moved around a lot. I was somewhat flubby there too, sigh. Not as bad, but then again, no cameras.

I got out by noon so all the real dancers could rehearse. Too late for marching, but oh well... more free time.

As for the rest of my day, I went to go see the Broon and Moonie show, “Foolish Mortals,” back at the same theater area I went to last week. (Who are these guys? Look here. Dear lord, the deja vu I was having being around that joint again a week later. But happily, that was dispelled by the hilarity that was this sold out show.

The first half of the show was Broon by himself for a while and then Moonie by himself for a while. Broon is an improv guy and likes to have fun with the audience members and he had two folks to really work with: one extremely enthusiastic large audience member named Joe and a bunch of 10 year old boys that came to the show for one kid’s birthday. Is this a show appropriate for kids? Um, nope, it ain’t, and it got more and more inappropriate as things went on. The kids loved it. Anyway, birthday boy Max got to go on stage while Broon did a trick and the kid was very....deadpan. Oh yeah, and at one point Broon put on a shock collar and handed the remote to a woman in the front row and then he made up a song and told her to shock him when he got details wrong.

In Moonie’s half of the show, he came out in his usual uh, onesie ensemble but wasn’t too silent. Didn’t do a huge number of tricks, but mostly told stories about weird things he’s encountered while performing, such as the time he made out with a girl with a chin piercing to see if it hurt or not (if she sticks out her chin, yes), and then she asked if he’d spank her and he was totally gobsmacked and could only come out with “I’m married.” (I would love to hear Broon’s version of what would happen if a girl asked. I bet he’d say yes.) He also told a story about a woman who refused to go on stage, so he started building a wall right in front of her to block her view, and admitted he was being kind of an asshole but it gets laughs. And then...yes, Santa Claus was attending the Renaissance Fair, in full outfit, so he took down the wall and sat on Santa’s lap. He finished the story by claiming Santa wrote him a note saying “They were dicks. Love, Santa.”

After the intermission, the two did an act together, and Moonie changed into what looked like an outfit one would wear at Ace Hardware or as a theater usher. Later Broon (who’s 6’7) jumped on Moonie (who is, I dunno, maybe 5’4)’s back while he was on a teeter totter and doing a very wee bit of juggling. Broon broke out his whip and attempted to teach Moonie how to use the whip to knock a pretzel stick out of his hand, followed by Broon whipping a pretzel stick out of Moonie’s butt, just like at RenFaire minus the fire.

They also brought Joe on the stage to try to juggle around him, both of them complaining that Joe was so large (6’8) that he was hard to see around. They had him ah...somehow pin a ping pong ball to his nipple for them to knock off while juggling, which worked!

The final showcase move was having Broon be a “fakir” (guess how Moonie pronounced this word, and anything else that might sound dirty) and lie down on a bed of nails, while Moonie brought out a 60lb cement block and hammered it till it broke. The 10 year olds got the blocks as souvenirs and M&B autographed them afterwards. They autographed stuff in general afterwards, and Mom bought some merch and had my program sigined along with the merch.

Those guys are great. It was a hilarious night. I kept saying to Mom (who had debated kinda flaking on going last weekend), “Aren’t you glad you went?” She was!

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