Thoughts You Have While Waiting In Limbo:

* I am seriously, seriously, NEVER EVER APPLYING FOR A JOB IN MY OWN WORK EVER EVER AGAIN. I know I say this every time, but this time I really mean it, especially since at this point this is probably the last job I'd ever want to hold in this place. Which is to say, the other sections I like and previously worked in wouldn't take me back (yeah, that's a hint I suck, isn't it) and I don't want to work in areas that are even harder than my own to comprehend and handle.

* I am unfortunately or fortunately .... well, let's say I can reasonably assume that they may not have been doing much or anything regarding this decision, and the fellow in charge of the decision is going to Disneyland next week. So the estimate of "by the end of next week," uh.... I though they were going to do second interviews yesterday, but given how my boss and others were still running around the office, going to other meetings, they probably did not. This is yet another reason (beyond the rejection and the embarrassment) to never apply within one's own office again.

* I was in a super bad mood upon realizing I did not get a second interview, but now that that probably hasn't happened, I do not know. Which makes me feel somewhat better, but on the other hand it's like uh, when the heck are you going to work on it?

* I think I should reasonably assume I am not the best and most perfect candidate ever and at the very least lower my expectations to a level of "probably not, unless everyone else gets other jobs first." Which is a true and real shame, but my field of work expects literal perfection every single day now, so there you go.

* I have not been the most fun to deal with after Monday. Mom kept insisting on having phone conversations with me (every day) and I am all, seriously, I can't chat right now, but she continues.

* If I have to hear about (a) a certain super controlling person in her life, or (b) her friend's jerkass husband who wants a divorce, ONE MORE TIME.... Seriously, yesterday I was all, "If you want to keep me on the phone, you're gonna have to talk, but not about Frick or Frack."

* Meanwhile, Meg is in happy positive happy land about this for me, saying she had some overwhelming feeling of "the job is yours" on Tuesday. I hope she maintains that feeling because right now I got nothing but angst at the happiest.

* So far any divination I've done on the topic is coming out happy and/or "hey, nothing's decided quite yet." So that's reassuring. I had Meg do a tarot reading for me on Monday night--she doesn't know a whole lot and was reading straight from the book, I was all, "hey, try looking at the picture and then read from the book, see how you do" and that went well.

The rundown of the cards went as follows:
Representing me: 8 of Wands-happy movement
What covers you: Chariot (pretty much the same idea of movement)
Foundation of the question: Ace of Pentacles (new money)
Past: Nine of Wands (waiting)
Present: King of Wands--probably representing the dude in charge
Future: Ten of Cups--happy family card (good sign)
Representing me: 8 of Cups--moving on from a sad situation
How others see me: Magician :)
What you have to go through to get there: 5 of Cups--normally a very sad card
Outcome: Nine of Pentacles--happy money/fruition

So...maybe I am in the 5 of Cups right now? Or someone bails out of the top 2 and then I get hired? Hell, that's how I got hired here in the first place back in the day.

* In related news, I get to join a committee for this group tomorrow--well, finally! So we'll see how that goes. (Note: not necessarily related to said job opening, but my boss thought I should get on it regardless since this meeting is dealing with expanding what I already work on.)

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