Chaos Attraction

Any Excuse To Slip In Pikachu

2019-01-29, 9:15 p.m.

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Well, the newest coworker got the temporary job, as I figured. She’s starting on Monday and we’re short staffed yet again. And she’s looking to apply for the permanent position “if I like it,” so...fuuuuuuuuuuuck.

As usual: happy for her, sad for me because once again, guess who’s going to be forced to answer the phones soon, probably.

I was in a not happy mood all day, whined to my shrink and was useless and was totally exhausted and spent by about 3:30. My shrink is out of ideas as to what to do with me and I am too. And then I read things about how you cannot get any kind of job that makes you happy because it’s expendable and wish I was ... no comment.

I just want to be left the fuck alone at work, please!!!!!!!!!!!!!! STOP NEEDING ME TO PAY ATTENTION TO AND HELP YOU!!!!! IT IS DRAINING!!!!!!!!

Which will never happen because we are permanently short staffed and desperate and I can’t leave unless I want to be homeless because lord knows I can’t ever get another job. And let’s face it: phone answering sucks and the only way anyone is going to stay in it is if you’re me or (names redacted of the other longtime coworkers) who can’t get other jobs either or get pregnant or go to grad school or whatever else that would get you out of it.

So that was my day.


Nighttime was a lot better because I had improv class (apparently the venue we’re in is closed tomorrow night for some reason?) and that was a lot of fun. More people showed up and we were doing things with the environment.

* The teacher pulled out random objects and we were supposed to come up with other things that object might be. At one point he pulled out a blue and purple kid’s tutu-ish thing and the guy next to me goes, “That’s Jennifer’s favorite outfit!” Adorable. And accurate. And I haven’t even worn anything SUPER me to that class as yet (or at least I get more extreme while wearing skirts and I’m not usually doing that at improv since you end up crawling on the floor and shit like that a lot).

* We did a game where only one person could move at a time and we had to figure out who was going and how we were posing.

* We did a game where one person does a scene, a second person walks in and does a second scene with different subject matter, a third person does and changes the scene again, and a fourth person does...and then the fourth person leaves, they go back to the third scene, that person leaves and they go back to the second, etc. I feel like this game should be called “Cloud Atlas.”

* We did a game where we had to pass different words to different people in a certain order, while three different orders were going on at once (kinda the verbal equivalent of Zip, Zap, Zot and other improv games like that).

* We did one where each person makes up a sentence in a story, which were really very funny (especially the romantic comedy one, ending in the guy asking her out, her saying “I have a husband and boyfriend” and the last line being “But I can make room in my schedule.”). The teacher said we were doing better than he expected at this. I gather when he plays it with like, 9 year olds, they are just looking for ANY excuse to slip in Pikachu whether or not it makes any sense to the plot. So naturally, we threw in Pikachu jokes wherever we could later on in the night. (Example: I’m showing a guy my new hamster. “What’s his name?” “Pikachu!”)

It was a lot of fun.

Why can’t life be more like this?


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