Chaos Attraction

I Have No Good Title For This Either, Again

2021-02-01, 6:55 p.m.

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Cast list as of November 2019

Well, today didn't suck at work, I have to say.

The in-office staff decided to revise everything and create a new system, and they are getting more people in who will just be dedicated to the mail., THANK GAWD. I don't have to email anyone, we just have a group spreadsheet to list what needs to go out, which of course I added a lot to. So thank gawd I didn't have to talk to anyone about anything, either. (They also admitted they weren't very happy with how this stuff was going either.) So, hearts.
Someone sent me a nice compliment today.

I asked one of the phone-answering staff if they got the impression that Important Documents are lost all the time from me alone and she was all LOL NO, we hear about them being lost constantly. I asked if she'd heard about the pissed off girl's lost document (yes) and she said she was sorry I had to go through that, and she appreciated when we deal with that hard shit.
I did get myself in trouble for one thing--I effed up an expensively mailed document (I spent so much time checking for Thing A and missed Thing B....SHAME ON ME) last week, found out today, and had to reorder it again. I didn't mention that to anyone, I guess we will see if anyone asks or notices. If I mentioned it openly, they'd say to reorder it again anyway....I debated if I should ethically point out that I fucked up, or if they would even notice that one if I didn't point it out. We'll see.

Tonight's viewing: Going Going Gone, a play by Ken Levine. Four sportswriters in the press box in LA. One of them is George Wendt, playing The Cranky Old Dick. One of them is a blonde woman. The guys act....stereotypical. At one point George Wendt asks the woman if she ever peeks at guys' dicks in the locker room and she's all, "No, that's disgusting, do you?" And they are ALL yes, we do! She's all, do you draw pictures in your little notebooks? Also, do you EVER WATCH THE GAME, because it doesn't seem like any of you DO. This is a brotherhood/safe zone for us, The Dick says, "even if we don't know what we're talking about, which is most of the time."

Later, the "kisscam" focuses on the girl and the younger married white guy reporter, and he kisses her and she's frozen in shock. He confesses his total lust for her and says they're all feeling it. The younger black guy reporter (the least bad one) is all NOOOOOO DON'T SAY THIS SHIT. It does no good. "I'm buying a house for a wife I'm not even sure about any more, imagine what I could do for you." Ewwwwwwwwww. She gives "the greatest brushoff I've ever heard." "I'm encouraged," the young horndog says. "You've made this a hostile workplace EVEN FOR ME," says The Old Dick. Eventually married guy apologizes. "You can't blame baseball for you being fat and disgusting."

Then the guys get all concerned that she's dating a player (in both senses of the word) and are all, do we tell her?! Will she lose her job? Sleazy old guy threatens that one and the other guys are all, you are awful. The guys then threaten to tell that they figured out the Dick is on eHarmony looking for women of color and petting his kitty. The Dick threatens that the single guy is going to get canned. The married man says MEOW MEOW. I'll tell your wife you propositioned a couple of women... God, these guys. (As the girl pointed out, y'all aren't watching the game.) After a very ineffectual fight, they discuss if the single guy could be a sportscaster, and then The Dick offers to quit his website job and recommend the single guy for it. Everyone is flabbergasted at the niceness. They attempt to indicate that her boyfriend is cheating, and she figures it out because they are all terrible liars. She then insults his penis and wants to whip out dick picks, which they all refuse and she's all, really? "Who is that small and still sends dick pics?" The Dick offers to post it to one of his anonymous Twitter accounts, and by anonymous I mean "Donald Trump," which sounds very off now. Then The Dick has a heart attack and dies.

Married Guy decides to take a new job and the wife decides to dump him and he is totally fine with that. They all decide they are tired of watching this neverending game and leave.

Well, that was certainly A Thing. It had some touching moments, but also a lot of assholery that got hard to take.

On a related note, during lunch I was watching a storytelling thing Doreen told me about, and the lady was talking about how she got her dream gig playing her musical instrument with the king of that kind of music, and then she finds out it's only because he's married and wanted to fuck her. He still lets her in the band, but after she sleeps with someone else in the band, he kicks her out for not fucking him. I was all THE RAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE and emailed Doreen as such, and then she called to apologize and I was all, "no, I'm just mad at sexism."

Back to Hallmark: Snowkissed.
So this NYC girl who hates travel (flight phobia?) has to go to Banff to meet her favorite author for a story. "He won't Zoom." Somehow she seems to have made it to the airport but lost her passport, and I'm all "who the fuck has a passport if you haven't traveled since you were 16, passports kinda take a while to get, like months....."

Noah, the hot guy sent to pick Kate up (har, her name is Kate Daniels, though that Kate Daniels would be horrified by this one), tries to make conversation and jokes with her and they are all falling flat. Noah and his friend Simon run a B&B. I think I kind of concur with this review: this girl is....too full of neuroses, man. Anyway, she gets forced to follow Noah around while he practices being a tour guide--fairly badly, and making more bad jokes. She ends up coaching him on his delivery and giving him too many facts and being "intense." Meanwhile, her photographer bestie Jane wants to chase after Simon, and Simon....seems nice enough but clueless/apathetic?

Finally they meet the author, who wrote a book called "The Answer." The answer, btw, is acceptance, something that Kate uses to justify her "bloom where you are planted"-ness. Finally she meets the author and he's all "I hope you weren't planning to talk about my book, because I was utterly wrong and decided that 2 years ago." WTF. What brought this on? He fell in love. He used to be too scared to do things, essentially. We shouldn't refuse challenges. Kate is bug-eyed shocked. Jane forces Simon to go on a date to the chocolate shop. He balks, questions things, goes "where's my coat," and even after he's surprised with a fancy table, just wants to chat with the server and invites him to dinner. DUDE, YOU'RE GAY, RIGHT? I don't normally just say that, but seriously. Why is she into this guy? Because he's there? Because he's from Brazil? Jane finally just DIRECTLY SAYS I LIKE YOU, SIMON AND HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY. "Thank you. Champagne truffle?" I'm normally in support of Hallmark doing a beta couple, but this is just a weird whopping fail. Kate gets the job she wanted. Simon says he can't speak so he got Jane a bunch of flowers. This is just awkward, but they're cuddling in the next scene somehow. Simon claims he's "quite the romantic." It was hard to tell. I concur with the Hallmark review lady that while I like these leads, it's not that romantic, and the writing of this is mostly kinda bad. They almost have "Gift of the Magi, Travel Edition" go on except she gets to him before he flies to her, they snowkiss, it's cute, the end.

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