Chaos Attraction

Me and the Demon Smirnoff

2004-02-03, 9:43 p.m.

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Yesterday was a stressful day, and I was on edge. My beading class went great- I made 1 1/3 of a pair of earrings and got to listen to the smooth stylings of Jason Mraz while we were at it- but other than that...let's just say I sat around nervous as all hell. Then I came home only to find out something that made me go "ARRRRGH!"

That did it. I needed to do some drinking.

I am not a major drinker, as you perhaps know. I rarely drink more than one of anything during the course of a night. The most I think I've ever consumed was a roughly estimated (i.e. people kept giving me refills) 3 1/2 drinks. And I have to eat beforehand, or at least start cramming it in during the act of drinking. And if I've eaten, I honestly don't get any effect from the alcohol from one or two drinks. Nothing different whatsoever. Which is okay with me, since drunk has never seemed to be all that much fun.

The one time I got drunk (i.e. too ill to go to class) was on a Wednesday, and it was my old roommate Sarah's 21st birthday on Thursday and goddammit, she was gonna take advantage of that at midnight! I simply had to be there... even if I had some lecture thing to go to that night. I tried to eat before. I did. However, I had to find portable food that I could eat in class on the run (and no, I couldn't buy food beforehand). So I ended up eating Cupanoodles and crackers a few hours before hand. This was not enough. Boy, was this not enough. After a measely two Sex On The Beaches, it kicked in in the not-fun way.

For years, people told me that they thought I'd be a fun drunk. Nope, I was not. Instead I had a head I had a hard time holding up and I wasn't so coordinated wandering home since our only ride was drunker than we were. I was a space cadet, only I couldn't snap out of it. And then around 5:30 in the morning, I was too nauseous to move. So much for making it to 8:30 class.

I have been very careful to not do this since. I try to eat right before I drink or at least during the drinking. Last night, I'd had class right after work, so naturally I hadn't eaten. But I was all, "Fuck it, I DON'T CARE IF I GET DRUNK. Let's just go for it."

Pretty much all of my alcohol stash has been bought for parties, so it all requires other things to be mixed with. This is why I haven't had a drink at home alone in awhile because when I get in the mood, suddenly I find out that I can't get the rum open or I'm out of sweet and sour mix or I just have nothing that goes with the schnapps or whatever. When I went grocery shopping with Hill I often picked up these items, or mudslide mix, or wine coolers or whatever kind of needs-no-prep booze I could find to keep around for Those Days. But with her working-nights schedule, Heather and I never find time to go together, so I usually end up asking my parents if they can take me to the store so I can use their van to load up. And buying booze in front of my parents is a bad idea, so I haven't had anything ready-made around in awhile.

However, Heather is having Hell Week at both school and work, and thus picked up a stash of Smirnoff Ice the other night. I don't know what this stuff is, exactly, but she knew I was having a fun time and said I could have one if I found it necessary. Oh yes.

So I happily chugged the Smirnoff down. And WHEE! Now I finally got why people got drunk in the first place! I finally relaxed for the first time all day. I didn't particularly care about what had been bothering me any more, I felt chirpy and peppy. I went and made myself an omelet after bolting it down just to make sure I didn't get too fucked up to work because I'm such a lightweight, but it was amazing that I even bothered to cook something. Whee! Cruise control! I didn't need much entertainment, I just kinda amused myself by sitting around chuckling. At least until oh, about an hour and a half later, when suddenly I became very sleepy. Oh lord, I am a lightweight.

Still, it was fun, and I haven't fallen asleep that fast in my entire life. Since my week is likely to be crap anyway, I really need to look around for more booze at the hippie grocery store on the way home from class. Plus uh, I think I'm gonna need to reimburse Heather.

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