Accidentally In Lust
2005-02-04, 10:33 p.m.
Interesting day today.
Remember this day awhile back, when for a day my hormones came floating in and out like Brigadoon? I soon got over it and was happy as a clam about that.
I am sad to report that today, the hormones are baaaaaaaack like Freddy, Jason, Chucky, et al. They are back and with a raging vengeance. Horrendously so.
I met a cute guy today. I was completely bloody thrown and not expecting it. It was one of those situations that people make jokes to me about: "hee hee, wouldn't it be great if a cute guy showed up at that?" Heck, someone said that to me just yesterday, and I was all, "Yeah, riiiight, that never happens."
As they always say, when you're not expecting it...
Anyway. He set off my buzzers, or at least my usual guy triggers. Except for his eyes, which were different from my usual preference, but really lovely. Mentally, I was drooling. I fear others in the room (or at least, one of them, as he indicated to me later) noticed this. I tried to pull it together, but every time the dude spoke to me, I was feeling vaguely woozy.
I don't do this often, this out-of-the-blue hormonal rush thing with people I'm not dating (first dates with guys I was interested in is another story). I seem to recall having the major hots for one of my RA's one year that made me woozy every time I saw him, or at least it did until I realized he was a flake. Once in a great while, I'll find some dude really very pretty, then get over it when I find out they have a girlfriend or want to date my friend or is geographically undesireable instead. But still, the last guy over 22 that I met and even thought was cute (he falls into the last category) I last saw in June. And even that wasn't any kind of full-on raging hormones experience.
So in short, I got blown away, and I was really freaking hot and hyper the rest of the day, and had to hide it through a bunch of activities during which I was supposed to appear to be responsible and not acting like a fan of Conrad Birdie. Thank god for the gym and ahem, working off frustration. I didn't know I could go six miles an hour on the FitStride machine, but evidently today I could with great ease. Between that and dance class, I'm finally normal again. Yay.
I don't know if this fellow would be dating material or not. He was a quiet person, and I usually go for talkers. And dare I say it, but given my track record of guys who don't fit the traditional "got a college degree and good job" mold, he fits right into that. And ahem, that does seem to be something that I should perhaps change in my dating life, since it hasn't worked out the greatest for keeping my relationships together. But I can't help but admit that I am curious and wouldn't mind getting to know him, should the opportunity arise.
The problem with this being... chances are...well, technically, they're 50/50 that he'll ever be around in any aspect of my life again. It was a circumstantial meeting, and circumstances will have to do some arranging that I suspect they might not do in order for him to be in my area again. (Yeah, it's another geographically undesireable person. Or at least, enough of a GU for my purposes.) And truth be told, I'd probably be better off not running into the bloke again on a more frequent basis and being in obvious hormonal heat enough to get ragged on by everyone I know. It was bad enough today trying to defuse THAT bomb, I don't need to play that game more often.
It probably won't work out that way. I don't think it will.
I really need a weekend off and away from adults with penises to clear my head. It's been a stressful week, and this just multiplied the stress by a ton.