Chaos Attraction

Everything's Lovely, Except For Teh Drama

2010-02-11, 3:13 p.m.

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What's going on:

I DROVE ON THE FREEWAY ON TUESDAY! I was totally calm! Did not freak! Did not freak driving through lame downtown traffic in the neighboring town next door! Drove 70 mph and didn't crash! Parked between two cars without issues! It was like I was on freaking tranquilizers or something!

I should probably point out that this wasn't a trafficked freeway, there weren't too many cars around, no giant trucks, etc. But still! Huzzah!

It does make me think, "hey, closer to a license." Though driving in traffic, learning to pass, and learning parallel parking would be good to do first.


Con is this weekend. I have my presentation done, written, PowerPointed, online. A day early, no less. HUZZAH FOR ME FOR BEING PREPARED! Plus I even packed for the con over the weekend, so other than packing up my purse and crap like that I am well prepared to take off for a long weekend of fun.

The presentation is on astrology, specifically Saturn (school of hard knocks) transits. Whether or not you buy into astrology these days, there sure are a lot of people with Teh Crazy going on, at least a good chunk of which can be cited astrologically. Compared to them I am actually having things free and easy (other than running the risk of layoff later in the year) in 2010, and I don't have an upcoming Total Crazy Magnet Drastic Life Change period again until 2011. Nice to know. Yay astrology.


That said, there is still emotional drama running rampant around these parts...

After Mom spent the weekend calling me multiple times every day and generally being nuts, and my shrink got on me for Not Having Boundaries once again, on Wednesday I attempted to tell her that calling tons and tons of times, sometimes in a row, is not okay.

This, naturally, led to a giant blowup in which she gave me an ultimatum of "Either I get to call as many times as I want OR WE NEVER SPEAK AGAIN."

Yes, I said fine to the latter one, but she didn't buy it. Yay crazy.

Though I can't say I was surprised, exactly. Her desperate need to communicate trumps my need to not have to spend every damn night on the telephone for hours, and when her need is SO BAD, it trumps everything. To some degree I'm just like, "Well, at least she's being honest. She has no intention of respecting my "stop calling so damn much" wishes, so much for agreements."

My shrink, upon being told this, says I should now phonestalk my mother while she's at work or doing things so she gets the message. Especially starting THIS WEEKEND because (a) I'm at a con and (b) Mom is going to some very expensive concert during said con.

While this is funny to think about, I can't help but think, "But that still means I talk to her oodles of times when I don't need to or want to, AND she likes being phonestalked, so giving her what she wants is not cool with me." I'm not a revenge-minded person, mostly because I suspect that in real life it doesn't work well. And Mom doesn't get hints. Plus, uh, I'M GOING TO BE BUSY THIS WEEKEND. Somewhere that is generally rather oh, trafficked and loud? And do strangers need to overhear my stressful mom calls?

So... I dunno.

Also speaking of astrology, this sort of thing is going on, and I don't know how to respond to that.

I also found out bad things about someone that, well...I'm feeling all conflicted and kind of mad about it. If I had any sanity at all, I'd avoid the situation altogether, but part of me somehow thinks I can go stomp in and be the voice of sanity and mediate the whole thing. Which, uh...well, since when does that ever work? Oh, wait, NEVER. I'd be better off washing my hands of the whole thing instead of secretly thinking that I can defend injustice or something.

I think I am looking forward to a super-distracting weekend, because I will be able to get away from most of this frigging drama and be too busy trying to pick out what talks to go to to give a shit for half a week. Huzzah.


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