Chaos Attraction

February: A Love Story

2021-02-15, 9:56 p.m.

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Cast list as of November 2019

It's a day off.

Things I watched today:

"february: a love story." This one's a short-ish film about a pandemic romance. It starts out with a lady asking you to fill out a checklist if you are experiencing symptoms, existential dread, desire for live theater... hah. Welcome to the show.

"What kind of a date is winter bocce?" Guy thinks he's asked a girl on a sports date. She thought it was a sex date, thanks to Urban Dictionary. Awkwardness ensues when she brings up condoms. For the record, I just Googled "winter bocce" and got innocuous sports examples. I then googled "winter bocce Urban Dictionary" and um.....that is not a dirty thing.

Anyway, girl gets annoyed when guy asks if she wants to do a puzzle instead, and girl gets all snitty and talks to the camera about meeting him on Zoom. She interrogates him about his last ex, which is awkward. He says, "I literally haven't touched anyone in 11 months. My dad is high risk and I'm his caregiver. I'm used to it. Mostly." She wants a hookup, he says he doesn't think she's on pandemic rebound. "I'm not getting vulnerable again until this thing is over." "I can't do anything physical, you can't do anything emotional...." So what's left? "Meaningless companionship?" "Exactly. We'll do that."

Later, they get drunk in the snow and dance, separately. It's cute. She touches his back from behind--eventually leaning behind him--and it's very intimate. They hold hands, gloved, at one point.

"I peed on your dead mom tree, didn't I." "I think you did." They're both fine with and amused by that.

I feel like this is a blueprint as to how to fall in love. They hang out. They talk. They talk about his mom dying of cancer. They fantasize about going to some local festival I haven't heard of. This part is done incredibly well and is really fun.

Then she starts objecting: "You won't touch me, but you wanna talk about our anniversary?" "What is the end game here?" "To survive a pandemic?" They agree on that. "You are a bizarre mix of romantic and commitmentphobe. Is this a game? Convince Grinchy Girl to love again just in time for Valentine's?" How long will we have to wait? Until both shots and immunity kicks in, and what about the variants? I HEAR YA, GIRL. She convinces herself he's not interested.

Then he knit her alpaca mittens for Valentine's Day. AWWWWWWW. I love it. (Or wait, is his dad the knitter?) His sister's coming to stay with dad, and he's rented a cottage...wanna come? He later claims his dad made them, but...???? Uh, I think he did it, he mentions starting them. (Or wait, did he knit a scarf and his dad the gloves?) Alas, she slept with her ex last night, so SO MUCH FOR THIS. He leaves (forgetting his backpack) and she defends her choice to not run after him. "We need a grand gesture!" she declares, and breaks out some lights, and talks to the lady at the beginning--and the camera guy--"Could you not move and pretend to be made of butter?" When he returns for the backpack, she puts on her own festival show. (He notes that the cabin had no electricity, which is why he had lights in there.) That lady has somehow brought them donuts. She describes them kissing while the camera goes dark. We see silhouettes instead behind a sheet.

I confess I watched this twice and then went to look for news and interviews on it. It was inspiring. I wish that was doable IRL.

Texted with Kelly about the play for a bit--I think we have decided that Maggie's day job was an ambulance driver, hah.

I signed up for the Pandemic Journaling Project, because why the heck not. I was going to make myself go outside, but it is so gray outside it gives me a headache just to look at it. It seems like the nice weather days mostly happen when I don't have the free time to go out, but that's winter for you. But then around 3 p.m. the sun came out (right around the time I finished hiking around the living room) and I went outside to sit and journal for a while. I was on fire with a particular journal prompt, not that I can show it to anyone.

I watched this (#1) and it was a wholehearted YES even though in reality it is a giant yeah, right.

At 4:30 I saw "Will You Be My --? A Pop-Up Play reading" outta Florida. Seven plays written in a workshop.

"Love Lies:" "I always date fuckups." Everyone lies in this one: one girl lies to get out of a date early, the guy lies that he's not a mail clerk.

"Parallel Lives:" It's time for Jamal to have "the talk." Not the sex talk so much as the police talk.

"Oracle at the Mount of Venus:" Liz has a dream. "We do this until you get it right." "It's getting old." "You're telling me," says the oracle. "You're about as useless as I am!" Sounds like Liz doesn't treat her girlfriends right, but really, she's not over an ex. This is the best one so far.

"My Father and Her Husband?" Girl interrogates her mom's new boyfriend. They both "knew" very quickly. Girl has been Googling. Then when daughter is offscreen, the mom says that the girl's father, well, did they ever REALLY find the body, or just A body?!? Daughter is mad that she wasn't told, mom was all "you were 2 at the time," daughter is all "you could have mentioned it later." New boyfriend offers to do research. This one was also quite interesting!

"Bearded." "Who at that office doesn't know you're gay?" But does that mean she's getting passed over for jobs? "Will you be my beard?" she says to her roommate. Her coworker calls her out for faking hetero and asks "Why the charade?" "Oh fuck, seriously?" "I know I'm basically a caveman, but I figured it out by the end of the first week. What can I say, I'm a modern caveman." Later: "All this time, we thought you were gay."

"Sex Ed For Mom:" "Your children sent me," a robot date, apparently? "A sex machine with a sense of humor." And 365 ways to make love via the Kama Sutra. Thanks, kids! This just got more and more amusing as the mom (a) figures it out, (b) starts getting into it.

"I Choose You:" Husband is sulky at being asked to help; around the house while his wife studies. He's just a snot. To be fair, he does miss them spending time together. She says she just can't concentrate on him at all any more in between school and kids. This is depressing. He offers to do chores in exchange for a day with her.

Comment from the talkback afterwards: "I never thought I'd write about a sex robot. It was a complete surprise."

This week's new Hallmark: "Playing Cupid," about a kid matchmaker.

"I moved here for you." "Me and my career are a package deal." Well, this relationship clearly won't even make it to the appetizer stage! Clearly she's going to hit it off with David the Mexican restauranteur instead. "Cantina Corazon" is the name of the place, which is adorable.

Matchmaker Girl sets up a guy reading at dinner with the English teacher across the room by asking for book report advice. That was amazing, I have to say. Girl gets INSPIRED for her class business project. "I can find EVERYONE a date for the dance." Oh, wait, you're Clara's teacher? Awkward!

Dad has objections to her starting a matchmaking business at age 13. "There is nothing wrong with staying inside the box...Good grades exist inside the box." Teacher is actually thrilled that Clara is showing interest in something.

Teacher is feeling weird about running into him again when he's running the PTA meeting. Her friend wants to go to his restaurant and teacher is all "I don't want to," and friend is all "Look, he is literally NOT THERE RIGHT NOW," so they conspicuously sneak out mid-meeting to go. "When my dad's here, I'm here," says Clara, doing homework at the bar. SEE, HE'S HERE, says teacher. DUH OF COURSE HE'S HERE. "Are you following me?" The helpful restaurant assistant offers him up as a classroom mentor and she's all "You['re not going to keep an eye on me, are you?" and he's all "That's what appeals to me."

Honesty? They were cute in the first scene, but now it's just weird and uncomfortable. They are gonna have to work on this to win me over. She threatens to write him up for tardies, seriously. Clara does her presentation--"Let me do the work for you." She goes on instinct. How do you put that into action, the teacher asks. She picks out a couple in class both liking the same movies and sports. They say they are not interested. Teacher asks for more research, and a unique angle.

Dad knew from age 12 that he wanted the family hey, maybe don't judge Clara for figuring out her game at 13, I suppose. Clara comes in and asks for advice. Should I do a questionnaire? What do you guys look for in a date? LOL I SEE YOUR METHOD GIRL. Both of them are all, do YOU like someone, Clara? Hey, maybe YOU should fill out the questionnaire...for practice! I like this girl, she's stealth.

I will note that Trevor the lawnmower kid is doing brisk business working for teacher friend. Clara gives no freebies to her friend. I love this girl's facial acting. Some people can just go SO SUBTLE. Now Clara wants to fix up adults at the restaurant. (Note that this movie is clearly set in early 2020 because "Valentine's Day is on a Saturday this year." GOD, I MISS EARLY 2020.)

Awkwardly, teacher's ex comes into the restaurant with his new girlfriend. David helpfully implies that she and he are also a Thing. That's very sweet of you, David. "That wasn't awkward at all." Clara plays it cool when Trevor asks, then cringers when he walks away. "You moved here for love. Maybe it wasn't with Adam. Maybe it was for someone else," says teacher friend.

David's ex-wife objects to Clara using the restaurant for her business, blaming it on David. David is still clearly ticked that all his exes live in Texas (I cannot resist the joke even if it's one ex). Teacher wants a sign as to whether or not to stay or move back home again. A lot of us will be real sad to see you go, says David. Awww. Someone sent Miss Fox a candygram from a secret admirer! Hahahahahahahah. Clara also seems to have a secret note about the dance. Hmmmmm. Later, David seems to the candygrams? I suspected that was Clara's doing, to be honest. That looked like teen handwriting. "I swear, that restaurant is like a magical love portal!" Um, literally heart is in the name, of course it is.

She sneaks into the restaurant and watches him lip-syncing to "Ain't No Mountain High Enough," and joins in. That's adorbs. They kiss...and the ex just walked in. Eeeeek! Cut to Clara's project making TV news, with them dissing a 13-year-old matchmaker. Ouch. Y'all are dissing a teenager doing a school project. Shame on you, shitty adult news anchors. Also Clara is concerned about her own candygram. Oh, her name is Carrie! I have totally missed that over the last hour!

Clara awkwardly stands around at the dance. Cut to everyone awkwardly sitting around waiting at the cantina while a marachi band plays. Never mind, people are showing! And Clara is a finalist for the project! I guess there was a competition or something. Eva the ex answers the door and is all "We're having family time right now." Buuuuuurn. Awkwardness ensues. Carrie decides to move back home after all. (Me: WTF lady? You moved to Texas!) She's looking for a sign to stay..."I found the opposite." Awwwww.

Meanwhile, Eva the ex is looking for another place to live. "She and I are just going to be friends." Clara brags that she knows who's a match and who isn'[t, and she knows who his two just need a little help. "Wait, you were my secret admirer?" "Think of it as a proxy for her." Hmmm, that is one way to put it.

Awards ceremony time! You'll never guess who won! Clara calls Carrie up to the stage. She also got Carrie a new chair! And laptop! Good lord, how much money did they win! Oh, it's a gift from David and his ex. Wow. "Did you really want to leave all this behind?" her friend asks. Trevor is ordering his match, hoping it's Clara. AWWWWW. Yes, he chickened out on the dance. We did match! "I thought so!" So what now? "I only know how to make match. I don't know what comes after." A movie invite. Awwwww. Go Clara.

Clara throws a party (guess where) and invites Carrie. Except when she arrives, there is no party and no lights on. (Oh, it's "that" kind of party, wink wink, nudge nudge, I say) Then David turns the lights on and says it's a party for two. "I thought you were my secret admirer." "You had a secret admirer too." She changed her mind on moving tonight. Awwww. That chair was a sign! They kiss. Clara is happy from the shadows.

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