Chaos Attraction

Three Hours Long

2021-02-27, 10:33 p.m.

On the good news side:
* Made myself a breakfast sandwich today. It was good.
* Texted Scott a photo from my anti-affirmation calendar: "Huge Inspiration Quote On A Landscape." He immediately wrote back "Yes!" Score!
* Got a postcard from Cameron, saying she wished it was a postcard from somewhere instead of a postcard from nowhere. I hear ya.
On the not so good news side: woke up at 4 a.m.ish, completely unable to go back to sleep. I hate doing that on a weekend. What a waste.

We spent three hours--pretty much the whole three hours--reading Kelly's suffrage play, both acts at once this time since she has finally finished it! In general, I am very happy with how it is going, how the characters are working together, how things resolve, the snark, etc. The one thing we all couldn't help but notice though was...IT'S VERY LONG. IT'S THREE HOURS LONG. Even Kelly was all, I'd rather have it be two hours long! I think both acts were about 70/71 pages, the first act was an hour and twenty minutes (and we did not take a bathroom break) and we had to fast forward at the end a bit because I had to close the Zoom room to go on to my next class. I really felt bad having to cut off the discussion, I definitely wanted to say more. And frankly, wrote a very long email during my class because I was compelled to say all the stuff I was thinking and wasn't going to wait until tonight.

(I ended up loading the one person show class on my other computer and literally switching from one computer to the other to handle that one. Sadly, the performing computer decided to be all "I think I have an error! I am going to make a bunch of pingy noises and make you log into Microsoft again!" and ughhhhhhh, stop it. I had to mute the damn thing until we were done. Good thing the one person show class starts with a few minutes of random commercials before actually starting.)

Mostly I just had a lot of thoughts as to what to cut. Easy stuff like everyone getting coffee for a page, three pages of the guys lifting a trunk while the girls laugh at them. But mostly it was the flashbacks, because I think there' least six?... in the second act and sometimes it's just duplicate information or just fun scenes that don't affect the plot. I will of course leave it up to Kelly to figure out what to pull and not to pull.

As for the one person show class, it was sitting there watching the Pupil's Delights do 4 minutes from their shows. At the end, Drew did say that if we wanted to pay $50 for an extra class ("making up for," I guess that was the difference between buying a primo slot or not, I don't recall), the "silent majority" 19 of us that did not pay the extra money could get to have their stuff read. I dunno if I feel like doing this or not, plus I am signed up for some storytelling festivals the next two weekends after.

Anyway, funny lines from the class:
"Everybody who's good at writing hates writing." -Drew
"I took his cookies but discarded his love," on a guy who had a crush on her and it was not mutual. "He kinda air guitared my crotch. Just standing normally was asking for trouble." "If my body asked for it because it could never be closed." This one won't wear skirts now AND I CANNOT BLAME HER.
"Go over there and ask the lady to measure your tits."
"I was introduced to that OnlyFans business this week. Did you know about that? I didn't....I want to make forty thousand tomorrow." (I will note that her show is now "Tish in Tights," in which a woman wears tights and "spreads the bread.")
"Patrick vomits ribbons of various colors."
(The guy who went after Patrick) "I am so nervous I might puke ribbons!" Drew: "Don't puke ribbons!"
"We have colors, we have stupidity, we have giant boots." -Drew
"I felt special as a young smoker."
"What's about to happen is normal in the world of this show." He then proceeded to sing a song with the repeating line "That's a fine way to lose a man!" with answers like "Just tell him I don't do that and you'll be alone with your cat. " and "Just remember, your dignity won't keep you warm at night."
"Your note is orange, moving on!" -Drew on a lack of time to cover everyone (I will note that of 12 people, he took 2 hours to cover them all.)
"And that's when I got involved in the cult."
"I've been a psychic my whole life, but not always voluntarily."
"The straight version of me over there is Jason...." (Drew's note: "Take your lovely, charming personality out of him.")
"I will be turning on Grindr to make sure you are all off your phones..."
One guy did a screenshare of several cartoons of a scantily clad Melania Trump. "For the first time in her life, she has to clean a toilet. It's very scary for her." Drew: "Your Melania is so much smarter and self aware than the real Melania Trump."

Next week's homework (should there be any point in you doing it): either write more or rewrite what you just did. Just keep going for another 4 minutes.

After that, I actually left the house to go to FedEx and ship all those packages and print out the vaccination stuff. Each package cost $19.50 to ship to the East Coast, which I was not expecting. Except oh yeah, East Coast, I hardly ever mail anything real over there, perhaps. Then it was $7-something to print documents out of my email. I hadn't checked email for a few hours and was surprised when I logged in that Walgreens actually sent me two confirmation emails to print out (one per appointment). So they have NOT rejected me for a shot due to the wrong county! faints I'm shocked and relieved. (During the play reading and class today, I kept expecting Walgreens to call and tell me to go blow.) I think I only spent about 15 minutes in there and there were about 2-3 other humans in there and two employees in a large barn building, so hopefully all will be well.

I also wore my first KN95 mask out the door today, under my usual cloth in case the thing tried to fall off, since I don't have much luck with the over-the-ears. It actually went great--comfortable to wear, didn't fall off, glasses didn't steam TOO much, though that might also be because I went out at 4 p.m. I also got another pack in the mail, so I've got a stash for a while for myself. After I got home, I walked around on the patio again. Why do I have so many damn mosquitoes on my patio?

Tonight, I watched the campus comedy show, with that professor in it. The slide show had a few comments as to what people are doing for spring break: "Simply just existing" was my favorite.

"I got dumped in the middle of a date," said a guy about his Valentine's Day. "He is macrophallicly endowed. Everyone knows he's packing pastrami in his pants." "And then he kills her with his fucking dick, dude!" "Yeah, childhood shit is really weird in hindsight."

The professor talked about learning high school Spanish in the South with Southern accents paining the teacher, how she used to be fluent but forgot it after 25 years, trying to order "necessito una cerveza" and then trying to order a Duff beer can when she said it, which "is an illegal product." She knew it was going to bed, and the bartender warned her, but she had to explain that she is a professor of the Simpsons. "I shouldn't be a thing that UCD brags about. It's stupid." "But I'm taking pictures with it and I'm excited." She was allowed to take the can, which travels all over with her and she still has it and shows it. "You should always remember enough of your high school Spanish to get a Duff beer when it's important to you." Now she is watching "Call My Agent" in French, "now I know enough bad French to speak it to my cats." And they're like, "Meow, bitch, because I've been watching my show, not feeding them." "Your pussy is so empty" was on the subtitles. "Do they not have a separate word for pussy every time they wanna talk about a girl cat, it could go wrong." She called a friend to ask about this. "Apparently French people just say boy cat all the damn time, but that's sexist." She can now share the very slight differences between cat and ah, pussy, online. "I did research for this because I'm a fucking scholar." She had been planning to go to France, but it's all for the best because "I just got a little girl kitten and I would have been talking about her CONSTANTLY." She then broke out a video of the kitten. (I will note that the cat's name is Snowball and she is of the tuxedo variety.) Imagine going around showing video of her "cat." And the only thing that's gotten her through the pandemic is her "cat." And her classes keep demanding to see more of her "cat." "Now it's time for me to go play with mon "chat."

Next one up works at a pizza joint and everything you've heard about that is true and usually she's just trying to make the pizzas and avoid humans. She's uncomfortable every time someone orders the "all meat lovers orgy." Anyway, she has to pass someone the pizza and the guy asks which side is the dairy and which side is the vegan cheese. She has no idea which it is and he is all "You have to be very sure or else my girlfriend will shit herself tonight." I didn't know that was in the employee handbook, she says. "Hershey squirts" are spelled out. He, likewise, will also crap himself if he eats one bit of vegan cheese. "I think you guys need a second opinion from your doctors." The guys in the back don't know or care and won't give an answer, so she gives up and takes a guess. "This is the first and last poop set I will ever do." (This is now reminding me of Scott saying he went there with his ex and this place screwed it up, and she apparently wrote a very angry note to management about it.)

The girl who did sock puppets last time now has an entire show based on fun Zoom filters. She wants to order mozzarella sticks, someone suggest she make them, she doesn't even HAVE mozzarella....If I wasn't bad at cooking, too many men would be trying to "wife me up." I am very impressed at how FAST she is whipping through these filters. Then she gets up and dances, somehow still managing to change the filters fairly often. She has a flaming kitchen behind her. She busts out a Karl Marx head. "I'm no longer funny because I've been inside a whole year, I rely on Zoom filters for my personality now!"

"So I met my ex-girlfriend's mom once because we were fucking in her house." All her mom noticed about him was that he's short. Their first date was her taking a 3 hour train ride to see him do comedy and then she went back and told all her friends he wasn't funny. "I am a huge people pleaser with a mediocre dick," so he's not that into sex. He talks about a date who tries to convert him to Jesus. "Let me tell you a story that happened 2,000 years ago."

Today's Pick A Card (#1)

* Death, Page of Cups, Six of Cups, Ten of Cups, 2 of Cups. Except for that first one (which as everyone will tell you is "transformation!" and not actual fatality, these are INCREDIBLY GOOD ROMANCE CARDS. * Page: Surprise communication from someone (well, one hopes) * You're on the same page, you feel the same way about each other, "definitely meeting your soulmate," (6 of Cups) "the conclusion is happy amazing partnership." (10)

From the Island Time card deck (yeah, that's a thing....) * Hammer: working on it * Love Call: someone contacts you again * Passion: "like each other equally" * Hand of Cards: take a chance, "have that conversation you're been waiting for." * Soulmates * Photograph: someone's looking at your photo (maybe?) and social media (hahahahah no).

Romance Angels: * Reconciliation (also see 6 of Cups) * Let Your Friends Help You * You Deserve Love

Other deck I forget the name of: * Compromise * Yes! (Literally, that's the card) "This is a reunion, guys." * It's Up To You. (Hopefully the other person, the reader says...I assume me though) * Opportunity * Take Action (see above)

previous entry - next entry
archives - current entry
hosted by