Chaos Attraction

Zoey's Extraordinary Neighbor

2020-03-02, 9:45 p.m.

recently on Chaos Attraction
Karaoche - 2020-03-07
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A Boring Meeting - 2020-03-04
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Cast list as of November 2019


Another GTL day. I am STILL mildly sick or at least sneezing/coughing still and I’ve had this cold for over a week now. Usually five days of working out should have neutralized this, but nope. I slept in till noonish and then went to the library and then to the gym for two hours and then stocked up at the grocery store. So yeah, nothing interesting to say there.


I thought I was totally well again when I woke up. Then I got up and in about five minutes, the cold was back again. I am still obviously somewhat sick at work, joy. However, I gotta go back to work. I had 164 emails when I began (from last weekend on) and whittled it down to 50ish (from Friday on), so there’s that. It wasn’t too heinous. My boss wanted to train me on a new thing today and have me do it tomorrow and I was all, “hm, after I work through the pile, sure?” Still on the pile, though.

I wanted to go to knitting group tonight, and then thought, “It’s in a senior citizen center and I still have a fucking cold and can’t stop coughing and sneezing all over the place and the second I wash my hands, I get another cough or a bunch of snot in my nose.” So I am home, watching television.

Sigh. I’ve never had a cold go on so long that wasn’t the flu or pneumonia. And other than the sometimes coughing/sometimes nose blowing/sometimes both at once, I feel fine. Gawd. I feel like a walking germ factory and CORONAVIRUS TALK EVERYWHERE does not help that. Then I felt bad having to do things like manhandle the broken microfilm machine, which thankfully rebooted itself like a Microsoft product in the end or else we would have been really fucked.

On to watching “Zoey’s Extraordinary Neighbor” (I feel like this title quirk will wear out soon after her relatives and coworkers get used up here): Zoey hears Mo singing “The Great Pretender,” which leads to the experience of, how do you tell someone they are doing it? Mo had no idea. And is mad at being told that song as opposed to “Walking On Sunshine.”

I am really feeling sorry for Peter Gallagher having to be THAT POP-EYED in almost every scene. That combined with the grim mouth and the Gallagher eyebrows is continuing to give me a weird deja vu even though my dad didn’t actually look like that. Nice that he’s got a laptop to spell things out with, though.

Oh lord, Skylar Astin’s now fucking singing opera...well, lip-syncing while doing ballet and handing out coffee. SOMEONE GOT LAID IS WHAT I’M SAYING. As does Zoey. They “made our first love.” Now I want to barf. I could never, ever bang that dude after he referred to their second and third and fourth loves.

Another interesting dilemma for Zoey: if you hear someone singing “Margaritaville” who you normally never hear at all, do you say something? Zoey tries, but is distracted by Mo’s siren song of “Great Pretender,” while walking outside in a boring hoodie and mask?! Apparently the big secret is Mo singing in a choir, in boring “dude” outfit. I feel like I”m watching Wade/Unique again on Glee. Anyway, Mo gets straight up hostile when Zoey asks about it and is basically all “buzz off, and ignore whatever you hear me singing and you know nothing about faith either.”

I forgot to mention that Zoey told Simon to ask her mom for florist recommendations, which turned into him and his fiancee hiring her mom (who’s a landscape designer), and then PDA’ing in front of everyone. Zoey distracts herself by talking about a lack of faith.

Bonnie the hiding neighbor seems to have a jones for the tropics (“Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama....”). It’s a super interesting conversation with the, not.

Mo can’t get through “This Little Light of Mine” and leaves rehearsal.

Joan starts singing “Wrecking Ball” by shoving people around in their little swingy chairs. Then she smashes the food around and throws it. I seriously wonder what this looks like in the real world rather than Imaginationville.

Oh god, David (Zoey’s brother, who so far I find uninteresting and have had nothing to say about) knocked up his wife Emily (ditto) and asks Dad for fatherly advice. Dad types “wedding toast” and David puts it on. You can tell Dad is kinda choked up watching himself happily dance with his wife, but then when he gets to the toast, his dad starts crying. Now that is my dad all over when he got the disease. Lots and lots of crying. If I ever by some random chance ever meet the creator of this show, somehow I think he and I will have a very depressing conversation about the commonalities of disease or something.

Mo’s pastor comes by the building, saying nobody’s heard from him. The pastor is aware that Mo is genderfluid, (the pastor is open-minded) but doesn’t know why Mo dresses like a dude for rehearsals. When the pastor is all “Maybe we’ll ask Him for a little help on this one,” I have another Wonderfalls-ish sort of moment.

David and Emily talk: dad has been crying for over a day, and the doctor says that’s a symptom of the disease. Also, dad might die before the baby is even born. I am NOT gonna WebMD the disease the dad has, but I guess the lifespan is a lot less?

Zoey brings a telescope over to the shut-in neighbor’s door. I’m guessing maybe the neighbor physically can’t leave the house.

Mo gets the note from the pastor. Worlds were colliding, Mo feels like a hypocrite. Knowing that he’s lying, how can he sing to God and kids? Zoey actually looked up a Bible verse to give encouragement. Mo being discovered for the church choir was wonderful...and then he got shit on by the adult sopranos, and this has happened twice. So he only goes male at church. Sure, Pastor Steve is fine, but what about everyone else? He doesn’t want to be run out of the sanctuary anyway. “It’s gonna take a miracle to show me the way. Until then, I’m staying home on Sundays.” Another Wonderfalls moment!

Pastor Steve likes writing sermons in the bar. He sounds fun. He also plays darts for money. He sounds fun, part two. Pastor Steve, alas, cannot make guarantees about all of the church members. “Let’s hope he eventually takes a leap of faith.” But what if that isn’t an option, Zoey says? What if she has to act now and the universe has made it clear? “More like singing.” You want assurances that it’s working? Keep your eyes open, because you might see a little miracle. Signposts that you’re on the right path. I like Pastor Steve and I hope we keep him. Zoey shoots a bull’s eye...which then falls out.

Mom comes over to talk about her affair with her old Russian professor, which turns into confession time for Zoey and the Simon situation (“bonding over dad stuff”). He’s the only one she can talk to about dad stuff, she says, no one else understands. I hear ya, girl.

OH LORD IT’S A GENDER REVEAL PARTY. Can we stop with those?.... Oh, it’s in case dad dies before the baby is born. Fuck. Dad starts crying again. Anyway, it’s a boy, if you care. Zoey offers to take the pink cake “for a very good cause.” No, it’s not for Mo, she leaves it on Joan’s doorstep because Joan needs carbs. Still sweet though.

Hi Bonnie! I was honestly figuring handicapped, or bubble girl, or something. Maybe just agoraphobic. They take a walk to the rent box. Or more specifically to Mo’s doorstep. “It was all her, I guess she just took a leap of faith,” Zoey says. Mo is impressed. “THAT was a miracle.” If Bonnie can leave, Mo can go. Awwww. This is a more subtle version of Wonderfalls. “I have twenty minutes to pick a wig and paint my face.” Twenty minutes?!?

At church, Mo shows up in red shiny and a long brown wig and looks gorgeous. I gotta love a dramatic entrance from the back when nobody expects it (as per Coney Island Christmas).

So yay, happy ending.

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