Chaos Attraction

I Managed That One

2020-03-06, 9:54 p.m.

I went to bed early, then had a nightmare about being chased by a serial killer and was up for most of the rest of the night. Whee.

I wore all black today so I could basically blend in and hide at today’s meeting, during which I was going to be watched and judged very much. This horrified my friends and coworkers.

I am happy to report that so far I have not gotten In Trouble for that meeting, or at least my boss said afterwards I did well. I guzzled Mountain Dew throughout it and attempted to take notes, most of which boiled down to “(????)” sort of stuff. I attempted eye contact, though since I didn’t really know what was going on there, nobody was particularly needing me in this thing. I at least have had slightly more training in this particular arena (which is to say, I like, did it once in May before I got pulled off it for whatever complicated reason) so I had more of a clue about this conversation. I pretty much did not talk and was holding onto a rock with one hand throughout the whole thing. Then I realized “oh shit, I’ve been leaning back in my chair for fifty minutes, I’M IN TROUBLE because they told me I have to lean forward” and “I stifled five yawns today, BAD JEN,” and shit like that. Sigh. I’m surprised I wasn’t chewed out for that, actually.

Anyway, today ended up being not as bad as I thought, and both boss and grandboss are going to be out on Monday, so that’s two less stressors.

Though I am making a temperature scarf for an art project, which I happily brought to Yarn Club today to show off...and then realized that I’ve been losing stitches all along, and it’s supposed to be 8 inches wide, and I had to pull it ALL out to start it over again. I was all, “yeah, that’s how my week is going, y’all.”

I had a fun conversation with Christine today about rabbits (California ones are obnoxious and scratch and bite you, so you don’t feel bad about killing them for meat), unicorns, twin flames because her daughter said she and her mom were twin flames, whether or not she has a curse on her because of all the weird bad shit that’s happened to her (I was all, “I know who to refer you to if you want to check that out and drive for an hour.”) and how her uncle said that gifting someone a lemon verbena plant can bring a curse on someone and how she gave one to her ex. If you ever find out how that’s going, let me know! (Also texted this to Sarah, but got no response.)

I felt like I was almost over my cold, even though I’m already out of Robitussin (seriously, that bottle lasted what, a day and a half?!), and then just as I was feeling normal, I started to get a slight sore throat this afternoon, which I haven’t had since the first few days of this cold came on. Aw fuck. I’m so tired of being The Diseased One here. And then wondering if I’m coming down with coronavirus even though literally otherwise I feel fine except for the occasional slight cough now.

Oh, and course, coronavirus has hit my county now. People noticed that the announcement came out something like an hour after they’d last announced there wasn’t any. Of course it did. They’re all “it’s an elderly lady and she’s improving, but uh...yeah, it’s community infection, uh, please don’t freak out...” Then my mom started sending me panic texts about hoping I wouldn’t leave the house this weekend and how she’s afraid to be around someone at pickleball because she went traveling now and some baby got it, or this point I stopped texting back about the drama.

In other news, I finally finished reading and writing the review of The Anatomy of a Calling. And I had this thought: the book talks about having all these synchronicities going on regarding your calling. I have certainly been having synchros going on since the summer all over the place, presumably for my future love life. But then I thought, “huh, why have I never had any synchronicities or anything at all regarding my job?” Obviously a lot of the time it is fairly well toxic as per the examples of “jobs you need to quit at some point,” but why the hell hasn’t anything EVER so much as changed or moved or wiggled or had a sign about it or something? Why do I get them about this, but not that? I find this strange.

I am also watching Brooklyn Nine-Nine and while watching people try to conceive to the point where having sex is no longer fun would normally bore the shit out of me, by the time they got to “have sex like Hitchcock would since he just got some random girl pregnant out in the park by a skunk” territory, I was laughing my head off.

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