Chaos Attraction

I Started Watching The Crown

2021-03-08, 8:53 p.m.

I would MUCH rather think about the Royal Family Drama than anything in my shitty sad neverendingly nothing personal life, thankyouverymuch. Been up since 4 a.m.ish again, watching clips from CBS This Morning about it! DAAAAAAAAAAAAMN.

Work was quiet, yay. Penguin Girl was in a mysteriously good mood. Hope just got her car back after getting a lot of repairs done, and then someone slammed into the front of it and ripped the front of the car OFF. Penguin Girl tried to make her feel better with "rollercoaster theory" (what comes down must go up) and Grandboss and I, the believers in Murphy's Law, were all, um..... Grandboss was all, "I had a car that caught on fire."

In other news, three different computer programs are down/broken and god only knows when they are getting fixed. Par for the course around here. "You all keep showing up on Monday through Friday...I appreciate it, you have no idea." -Grandboss.

"It's been very lively with the stories this morning." -Penguin Girl.

In my life, today's excitement is that my neighbors are apparently having a plumbing disaster, as my actual official manager seemed to be around for a bit (I think? Man, it's been a long time since I've seen him) and they were having a plumbing truck back up as close to here as it could. I briefly saw their heads poking out from their patio while this was going on. I was going to go outside for a bit and was all "Never mind that!"

Had lunch with Eva today, that was fun.

Scott's mom emailed the mailing list about his birthday and offered a sale :P

Kelly and I apparently have the same birthday?! Squee!

The CDC guidelines are out, permitting us to gather indoors with other vaccinated people--or low risk ones, I guess. More generous than I would have anticipated. Maybe I can spend my birthday with my mom.

Okay, fine, so I am finally sucking it up and watching The Crown, even though I found the first episode really boring in the first fifteen minutes.

Episode 1, Wolverton Splash (huh?): Princess Elizabeth gets married, Winston Churchill becomes new Prime Minister, and the king is dying of cancer and uh....doesn't seem to know that?
* "Obey?" Ughhhhhhhh. Not any better that she "insisted."
* Uh....why is Philip's mother "dressed as a nun" and what has happened to her chin?
* Good god, this show is slow.
* It's 6:08 p.m. and I haven't even finished the first episode and it is making me want to collapse in bed.
* I was expecting her dad to die (while shooting?) at the end of this episode--the location is the title--but they don't go there. Seriously, this first episode is dullllll

Episode 2, Hyde Park Corner:
Well, there's random emus running around the airport runways. That is now slightly more interesting. The prince and princess are on tour in Nairobi.
* Oh, Prince Phillip: already insulting people of color. Sigh.
* "You need to be a monster to defeat Hitler."
* "Don't they realize we're savages?" Um, no? * And the king has finally died.
* "Hyde Park Corner" is code, I guess.
* Finally, something's happening: they're trying to notify the princess/queen in Africa before she hears it on worldwide news. Awkward! * "It's all right, I was a mechanic during the war." Elizabeth can handle a car better than these blokes.
* GOOD GOD THIS SHOW IS SLOW AND QUIET. It's halfway through the episode, someone just bloody tell her already. The camera stays far away from that happening.
* Um, gross, I don't want to watch EMBALMING, show.
* Seriously, I feel like I'm watching the first season of Parks and Rec. Everyone raves about this show, right? It gets more interesting, right?
* Welp, that's a certain amount of balls to be told "Here is a job offer. I am telling you not to accept it because we all know you're married and banging Princess Margaret," and then being all "I accept" anyway.

Episode 3: Windsor.
Meet the abdicated Duke of Windsor. Nobody likes him.
* My, the Duke is a catty bitch. Though "cold blooded monsters" is accurate.
* Meet Prince Ernst: who goes shooting the day after a funeral. But we thought about the dead guy the entire time! Also, "You were drinking champagne? The day after my son's funeral?!"
* Yeah, really, should Margaret be sad your wife took off? Why aren't y'all boning on the desk right about now?
* I can't even conceive of giving birth while dying in a plane crash. THAT'S FUCKED UP.
* His real name, which you don't need reminding of but I'm going to remind you of anyway, is literally four different hyphenated names nobody can spell.
* I want to be in a successful marriage, so let's embrace the patriarchy!
* Way to diss a man's dog, girl.
* "It's just advice, Elizabeth, it doesn't mean you have to act on it." "When it comes from the government, you do." WELP, I GUESS THAT EXPLAINS A LOT FROM YESTERDAY THEN!

Episode 4: Act of God. In which, no shit, poisonous fog fills the land.
* "I'm the most senior airman in the country and I can't bloody well fly." Well, good point there.
* Poisonous fog?!?! (Wow, we haven't hit that yet on the 2020's bingo card yet. I'm adding it to mine.)
* "have their unremarkability confirmed to us again" is an excellent way to say "mediocre in bed."
* Yes, the Queen is the kind of woman to go walk out in hazardous fog to go see her grandmother if it's too hard to drive.
* "I thought you was all queens. They give me a sheet." LOL.
* Um....does this Venetia chick have a crush on Churchill? "You told me to take up with a young man my age, so I read your autobiography." I feel kind of icked out now. I get the feeling I'm supposed to be touched, but now I'm just uncomfortable.
* The longer this fog goes on, the more deja vu I have about fires.
* Ouuuuch, Venetia just got plowed into by a bus.
* I gotta give Dickie Mountbatten credit for being all "Seriously you should kick out Churchill, AND INSTEAD OF THE FOG, HIS PRIORITY WAS BITCHING ABOUT YOUR HUSBAND FLYING."
* Churchill wrote his way out, clearly.
* They raise these people to be inhuman. No wonder they come out the way they do.

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