Chaos Attraction

I Feel Like I'm Never Going To See Anybody Again

2020-03-10, 9:19 p.m.

I am not normally an optimistic person, but I am trying to hope that things don’t get as coronovirus crazy here as one assumes it will be. Or at least, I’d prefer a bit of actual disaster to occur before we suddenly sentence everyone to home arrest and cancel every single festival as far as July. Maybe that’s crazy, it probably is, but after a week of it, I’m not inclined to become a shut-in again any time soon. Cancel anything big going on in March, sure, maaaaaybe April, but let’s not go nuts canceling anything farther out than that just yet. We really don’t know if that is needed that far in advance.


Reasons Why Everyone At My Bedammed Workplace Is A Goddamned Moron:

1. I feel like I already had to out where I work during the smokeout, but I work at one of the locations that is now having a strike about their lack of ability to afford life. I am in support of them getting $$$$$, but pretty much figure their odds of it actually happening are nil considering that we had a meeting a few weeks ago telling us that the system is a billion dollars in debt and we’re going to have budget cuts and layoffs. Meanwhile, folks have come up with a clever way to get attention by refusing to turn in other people’s work, which REALLY REALLY REALLY WILL SCREW AT LEAST A FAIR CHUNK OF PEOPLE OVER. I both admire their moxie and know damn well, in exact detail, how badly this is going to cause problems for an innocent population. Especially with regards to my job. And probably still won't get them what they want.

(Frankly, if anything really messes with management, it might be that they fired people at the other organization for this strike. Because they fired a bunch of lackeys, and that means that people who think they are big shots may actually have to do their own work and have less lackeys to do it for them.)

I have had some talks with managers here in the last few days about what’s going on with this. Does anyone have any kind of game plan or clue as to how to handle the situation? “We’re having a meeting this afternoon,” is what I was told, with the other offices that have to deal with this shit. I sent them some links and got a polite “The powers that be will figure this out for us” response email, which I assume is a polite blowoff for “why bother letting us know how it’s going elsewhere.”

According to my boss on her way out the door after said meeting, THERE IS NO PLAN. “Business as usual!” she was told by the other offices, apparently. “What is going on with this place?” indeed.

2. While this meeting was going on, we were notified that oh, a bunch of shit is being closed down due to coronavirus even though so far nobody else here has come down with it except one random older lady. Like say, all the important stuff that goes on at the end of a season. Can you do it online? Uh....I can say from experience that our technology is rudimentary at best, so “oh, can you do everything online with little notice” is probably not going to go well. They haven’t quite closed down the entire business yet, but that’s probably going to start in a day or two since “all the cool kids are doing it.” Again, until actual epidemic breaks out here, this seems like jumping the gun to me. Don’t get me wrong, I’m surprised too that we’re not an epicenter of it by now, but so far we’re not, and until there’s more reason to freak, this seems ... maybe not so well thought out to spring that on anyone?

Meanwhile, seriously, when you look outside, other than a few more Chinese students wearing masks more than usual, everything looks normal, same amounts of people outside hanging out, etc.

Also, they did not give any offices or anyone affected a heads up about that stuff.

3. I started going through the strike website for our organization and was horrified to spot that my office in particular is being targeted, having shit talked about it (“due to politics, they won’t allow this and they have no game plan”) and they are asking people to physically come into the office to complain about it, and contact BigBoss, with her personal email sent out (she’ll love that) directly, along with the heads of the org. Now, I don’t QUITE think what they are claiming is true. I can’t actually use or operate the computer system they are complaining about, but as far as I have vaguely been told, it’s a technology issue and not a politics issue that the thing has limitations. I mentioned this to my boss and she said something along the lines of “that’s not true,” and to send her all these links to forward on to management.

Seriously, why am I supposed to think that leaders are good? Like...they may have good intentions for all I know, but why, if you know something dire is going to happen, be all, “business as usual! We’re just gonna hope it doesn’t happen here!” about it? Why the hell am I supposed to worship leaders and think they are worth the big bucks they are paid if they don’t do shit? Like, I would be the worst leader in the world because I refuse to have “hard conversations” and I piss everyone off just by speaking and I’m female and all that shit, and they are making me look like I’d be a goddamned brain trust at it by comparison.

Oh yeah, and as I’ve previously mentioned during the great smokeout, my office is NOT EQUIPPED TO WORK FROM HOME. Literally, I can check my work email here (not that I want to, mind you) and that is IT. I can’t log into any of the databases I need access to, I don’t have a printer/copier/scanner, or fancy paper, or any of that shit. I have to run everything at work off large dual screens and that won’t work with a little laptop (plus mine needs replacing to boot). Almost nothing got done officewise when we were closed except for the few “essential” people (Lioness was one, but guess what, she gone now) who had to go in.

Supposedly even if they don’t have our clientele coming to work, I would still have to go in unless they close the entire organization. If things continue at this rate of crazy, I’m wondering if they’ll shut everyone down before the end of this week, smokeout style. So much for the office plants, and mine just actually made a flower for a change, too.

Tigress wanted to know today why I feel like everyone should do contingency planning for worst case scenarios. Uh, because of stuff like this? Because sitting with your thumb up your ass, or crying and hoping someone rescues you, or whatever, does not necessarily work well when trouble comes?

A quote from the Wildfire app today: “idk how I survived being here this long considering the fire, shooter, virus, and machete man.”

I am going to karaoke tonight while I still can, before they shut down the goddamned world. I am going to party outside for as long as I can before we are trapped in our homes for months on end, which appears to be how the fearmongering is going.

Also, y’know what? If coronavirus kills me, then it kills me. What are you gonna do?


On the way out, I went to CVS to get toilet paper (yeah, I know, but everyone’s frightening me on that now) and dish soap. They were utterly out of thermometers but seemed to be stocked on everything else. Then I got gas in the event that I have no ability to get gas again.

No guys at karaoke tonight, except Frank, who I sat by for a while and let buy me drinks. He told me he got ten (!!!!!!!!!) root canals in Mexico last week and tended to quit a lot of jobs because he could always get another one. Walt, Cathy, Doris, and Sue weren’t there, which was concerning. People were all, I’m sure they went somewhere or other. But even though we missed a lot of regulars, a lot of newbies came into the bar tonight, so that’s something.

I’m told that Badger has a girlfriend now. I am both happy for him, and also “how the heck?!”

Ashley is still working on her project, but has decided to basically make a skimpy tube-y top that she is making up on her own. Very Jennifer on the making something up, I said. Also, don’t tell your dad this. There was some girl there named Laura that was new that Ashley knew from Special Olympics and they sung together/hung out, and then were bummed out because the dance they were going to go to was canceled. And then apparently college itself is canceled because they are kicking people out of the dorms TOMORROW, wtf?

Do I even have to go to work tomorrow and I can skip the meeting where I am going to be yelled at again? Or being yelled at about how I should be answering emails about things I have zero training in? Will my plant die because nobody goes to work for weeks? I was up until midnight trying to confirm this, but found nothing. (No, they weren’t kicked out of the dorms. Maybe this was some friend from some other school she got a text from?)

Sarah and Sarajean came--Sarah also found me a unicorn at the other Dollar Store--and they are doing fine, though the way things are going I feel like this is the last time I am going to see anybody. I felt like we were partying on our last night of freedom before we all go into quarantine jail.

We still had fun, mind you, doing a group number to “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go.” Earlier I sang “Take This Job And Shove It,” and “You Belong With Me” in the brattiest teen girl voice I could do. Sarah sang “Jolene” and had this commentary on the song: “We’re ethically polyamorous, go fuck that bitch and come on home.” We also discussed the Barenaked Ladies at one point and she came up with the ah, quote, “But not a real fur house, that’s cruel.”

We talked about how all of this seems to be just jumping out of proportion to the amount of actual outbreak that hasn’t happened yet here.

I still feel like I am never going to see anyone again after tonight, though. Not that they’re dead, but like we’re turning into the Newsfleshverse or something and quarantined in our homes indefinitely. WTF.


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