Chaos Attraction

Distracting Myself With The Crown

2021-03-10, 9:03 p.m.

In the news:
* It's been thundering and hailing here.
* The extra class from the solo show class got canceled. Booooo. I really hope they send us some kind of after-class survey so I can express my thoughts on this experience. (Added later: They did not.)
* I bought a unicorn sweater pattern.
A year ago was my last normal day. Rereading the first paragraph of THAT one....well, look how things went. I texted Redhead Sarah something emo, no response (as usual).

I am trying to distract myself with The Crown.

Finishing yesterday's The Crown, Gelignite:
* Now I concur with Philip that Peter Townsend seems quite dull. I want to root for star-crossed lovebirds, but frankly, neither of them are portrayed all that interestingly here. Maybe they were dull IRL/as a couple (okay, so I hear Margaret wasn't dull!), I don't know. But I have to say, the one distinctive thing about Peter is his stony bullheadedness when it comes to being told what to call his girlfriend. I want to be all "Good for you!" but what good does it do when they are literally going to drag you away to fucking Brussels ASAP like you're a prisoner?
* It just occurred to me: BUT WHAT ABOUT PHILIP'S FLYING LESSONS? Won't this ruin his ability to get his pilot's license the fastest if his instructor just got flushed to Brussels? No reaction from him on that one?
* "A tiny white community surrounded by primitive Africans." winces * I guess a huge point that this show makes--whish seems to be especially relevant right now, and I don't just mean the "those are the lyrics to God Save The Queen" bit--is that somehow the Queen isn't actually making a lot of her decisions despite being queen. Somehow she's run over pretty frequently by officious long-standing office holders, possibly with titles and definitely with a lot of pomposity, who have made these decisions already and balk like hell if she tries to do anything else. "
"She's the Queen, she's fairly conspicuous."
* Another notable thing, especially these days: if any royal that isn't the queen/her heir becomes more popular in the media, HERE COME THE FUCKING KNIVES FOR YOU. HOW FUCKING DARE YOU BECOME MORE POPULAR THAN THE ACTUAL STARS OF THE SHOW!....well, to be fair, that's been an issue forever in other industries (hi, Julianna Margulies, looking at you), but * "the Royal Family's cruelty to its own members."
* "it is not likely, however, to survive the clear proof that it is insensate and cruel." Oh, come on, the royal family survived for decades after this, continuing to be cruel right up until today, and literally nothing has happened to kill off the monarchy. * What do I think might kill off the monarchy? Charles, to be honest, especially if his reign goes on for anything more than a short period of time (I'm gonna say, if he goes over a year, whether it's death or quitting). Dude is unpopular and vaguely kinda unpleasant for a lot of good reasons and doesn't have the decades of respect/loyalty his mother has built up, even if we don't like all of her decisions. If he becomes notably/obviously Not Great, which sounds really likely, and that becomes very public once he's in charge, that is where I would be worried about The Future Of The Monarchy. William probably wouldn't have those issues, but if people get fed up with his father, I dunno there.

Episode 7: Scientia Potentia Est: The Education of Elizabeth Regina.
"You know when to keep your mouth shut. That's more important than anything." Elizabeth points out that's fine for "normal life" (y'know, for women who are constantly shit upon), but she has to talk to smart men all the time and doesn't want to always have to steer the conversation back to dogs and horses.
* Once again, a courtier is telling Elizabeth what to do even though she's the fucking queen and presumably should be allowed to make her own decisions.
* I'm not sure what's going on with this needle scene and I don't think I want to know.
* "I was hoping it would be possible for me to make my own decision just ONCE." I do like the "junior" secretary (Martin's)'s grin at the job offer and the acceptance, though. Tommy is awful, so anyone nice sounds good to me.
* "Not too stuffy. Sense of humor." Wow, is that available in your world?
* "I'd like you to say it again so that all the people listening in can hear." * "Louder, please!" * Oookay, so lemme figure out what just went on here: Anthony is Winston's rival for the job, he needs to get surgery in Boston, and he just made Winston admit he needs him and then says he needs the surgery and hung up on him. So this is a revenge ploy here? Just wondering.
* Elizabeth is clearly embarrassed AF that she hasn't like, taken any exams or anything. I like how she chews out her mother for educating her as a "lady." "What has this to do with me?" Cookie says.
* Apparently Winston's faking sick to make Eisenhower fly to him? Okay, he's faking a COLD but is feeling worse than that.
* Okay, so I'm not entirely clear on who runs England. I assume it's mostly the Prime Minister but the Queen it's kind of a job split?
* "Why on earth would I know that?" Tommy scorns the gossip rumor mill, apparently.
* And Winston just hit the floor.
* "The Queen must never know how much we've kept from her." I'm sure that won't be problematic At All.
* Never mind, neither the prime minister nor the president are able to attend on anybody. * Martin has been browbeaten by fucking Tommy, again. YOU GO GET 'EM, ELIZABETH!
* "I prefer Martin." "And that is your right, ma'am." "Yes, and I rather thought so, too."
* I don't think abdication has anything to do with her hiring whoever the fuck she wants, but Tommy thinks that a man making changes in his life, at all, is bad. How the hell has Tommy continued in working here?
* Elizabeth calls her former secretary, Jock, over to get his opinion and he blabs about hiding someone's second stroke. OH DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN. "That is what you called me to discuss?" NO!
* "That's my job. Do nothing and stay silent at all times." "Is it?"
* I think I fucking love the tutor: "Summon them and give them a good dressing down like children." "But why would they stand for that?" "Because they're English, male, and upper class. A good dressing down from Nanny is what they most want in life."
* "It is not my job to govern, but it IS my job to ensure proper governance." Finally, someone explains it to me what the Queen actually does.
* I like the tactics she takes: a short, sweet, scolding of Lord Whozums but "a betrayal of our personal relationship" to Winston.
* "I advise you to choose your next words VERY CAREFULLY." LOL.
* Waaaaaaaaaaaait a minute, was that just a "Hey queen, could you blow me?!"

Episode 8, Pride and Joy: In which the cat's away (on tour) and the mouse will play (shouldn't have let her out in public).
* "The banger is falling apart." My, aren't we bitter, Philip.
* "If the titles are preposterous enough...."
* Peter's new job: he sits around in a room with nothing to do, with a guy who's paid to watch him all day. Peter calls Margaret WHILE THIS GUY IS THERE WATCHING. *
I wouldn't hand Margaret a sword if I were you. Especially since she's still mad,.
* "Will we find any moments in all of this to find a lavatory?"
* Uh-oh, Margaret wants to customize her own speeches. THE MONARCHY WILL END IF SHE DOES THAT!!!! "The speech has been carefully calibrated to avoid giving offense."
* So is this Margaret's whole Start of Darkness now?
* Watch this guy's face as Margaret just decided to wing describing beautiful scenery.
* And then she starts with the snark and everyone is loving it. "This one's single, ladies."
* "As a rule here, the food is pretty ordinary." But the wine is pretty good! Let's have lots of it! CLEARLY SHE IS THE FUN ONE and also should have been on the stage.
* "Would you have preferred she make a mess of it?" "No...perhaps. Is that awful of me?" "Yes." * GOD FORBID ANYONE OUTSHINE YOU. Well, it's not like you can stop her from here.
* I can't imagine buying a place with no bathrooms.
* Elizabeth R: had the first "resting bitch face," followed by the first Botox.
* Peter has to go to the pictures to see Margaret on tour.
* Oh fuck, you did NOT just say you'd rather smoke and get cancer and die. OH NO YOU DIDN'T.
* Okay, I highly doubt Elizabeth chased Philip around and threw things at him IRL. But being caught with cameras.... I do give the guy credit for politely disposing of the footage, though. Enjoy THAT while it lasts.
* There is a side plot about the Queen Mother buying a cheap crappy castle from a guy who can't place her. This is actually rather cute and amusing, and then once he figures it out she's all "and you would have doubled the price."
* "I am aware that I am surrounded by people who feel that they could do the job better."
* The monarch shouldn't shine, but man, does she get mad.
* Oh nooooooo, she's parroting Tommy! How dare you be an individual!

Episode 9: Assassins. For an exciting title, not much is going on in this one.
* "That's twelve no's."
* Meet Porchey, a guy with a long-unrequited crush on the Queen, trying to move on and propose to another woman. Awkward AF. Also, "Porchey?"
* "Will we be engaging in flattery or reality?" SNERK.
* "I never let accuracy get in the way of truth if I want it to." * "You're the Queen!" "Only some of the time!" Tell that to Meghan with the curtsying.
* "Do you think I'll like it?" "I think that's probably too much to ask for." Oh, this poor painter guy having to put up with Winston.
* I haven't had much to say on this episode: Winston hates his portrait because he looks old and is guilted enough to finally retire. That's the plot of this one. Whee. "For a day or two, he might even start cursing me," he says of his successor. "It might be an idea not to tell him that before he starts."
* NOW WE ARE ACTUALLY WATCHING HORSE SEX. Er, "covering." Philip enjoys it.
* I don't think calling someone "part of the furniture" is flattering, but "as long as you don't sit on him any time soon" is a big LOL.
* "The only person I have EVER loved is you. Can you look me in the eye and tell me the same? Can you?" Ouuuuuuuch.
* Apparently Winston burned that painting. Keep it classy, Winston.
* The show would like to inform us that that painting "is widely considered to be a lost masterpiece."

Episode 10: Gloriana: It's Margaret's 25th birthday! Time for her to officially get engaged....RIGHT?!?!?
* Oh barf, it's all Tommy being a dick AGAIN. I hate that guy. So much for his retirement. Does he WANT the royal family to go down?! Sounds like it.
* Philip is quite right to wonder whose idea literally anything is around here.
* "Nobody gives a fig about my happiness."
* "Taking to my bed to sulk for at least a week."
* "What's she done to you?" "Don't get me started."
* We've gone from formal meetings with the Prime Minister to "hey, let me drive you around and take you on a walk."
* Wow, she drove him out to her sister's favorite romance spot, where they have a big ol' pile of rocks for all the times they met, to get on him about "the advice I originally received."
* "How can I keep my word after I gave it knowing only half the facts?" GOOD POINT.
* Queen Mary sasses Philip for being a pouting ass. Love it.
* Turns out Margaret can only get married if she renounces the title, the money, the country (for several years), all of it. Very shitty. Margaret points out that the media supports her. Does that do any good? Even now?
* The first of many paparazzi chases for the royals, I see.
* I'm not sure talking to David is going to be very helpful right now, for many reasons.
* So apparently this depressing plot didn't actually happen at all--Margaret could have gotten married, Elizabeth wasn't stopping her, a plan was worked out to do it and all she had to give up was the line of succession--but she uh...flaked out on it, I guess, IRL?
* "Don't dress betrayal up as a favor."

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