Well, the Evita thing might be over with, as they announced the cast today (Scott didn't get any particular parts). I messaged Steve, but we'll see.

I did watch Act 2 (it gets better or at least I get why they have more people in it) and listen to the soundtrack, but I don't love the show. I don't know how I feel right now? Confused? Like "oh well, guess I'll just do BBB?" But the whole Scott thing? I dunno. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4xpjb59_h98

Okay, I asked Steve if they still needed people and he said "yes please," so...I guess I'm in?

Work today: I spent most of the day (approximately 8-2) doing international mailing. Around 1 p.m. I said I was still doing it and my boss was all "have the part timers do it," and I thought, but did not say, "Hey, remember how when this was brought up before, all the part timers were too busy answering the phones to do the mail? And how one time we had Grandboss help me do the mailing?" (Except Grandboss is in Oregon again now.)

Hope's old position is finally online, so godspeed and fingers crossed on that one.

In other news, I got asked to verify if someone was lying today and they totally were! My boss forwards this to me with "please don't respond to this but let me know what you find out," which I think was code for "Yeah, I'm aware this guy is lying," as there was a biiiiiig clue that even she would have ID'd as a total lie.

How do I fudge this? Dude claimed he has A Certain Status on his Important Document. Said status is (a) literally not offered at Giant Org (he used language Giant Org doesn't have approved), and (b) he didn't earn the Giant Org equivalent of that at all, either. Also, Giant Org has a rule about people only have one ID at a time. This dude photographed TWO ID's TOGETHER, and he "claims" he ordered a second one (he didn't), except the second one is missing his Certain Status and oh, another detail on it isn't shiny enough. This fucker claims he contacted us wanting a (third) replacement and nobody's responding to him (he didn't contact us) and he's very frustrated and his patience is running out. SO HE CONTACTED A LAWMAKER TO COMPLAIN.

WHAT LEVEL OF FUCKING STOOPID DO YOU HAVE TO BE to make up a lie--I bet he made it up for work or something--, then DOCUMENT THE LIE and then COMPLAIN to some higher up about it?! He can't figure out that we're not going to go "Oh noes, our error, let me affirm your lie because it's on your fake document!"?!?! I wrote an evidence-filled email to my boss. I doubt she'll talk to me further about it or let me know what she says in response (clearly I can't be trusted to respond to this, and even I agree with that because I want to yell LYING LIAR WHO LIES), but I wish I could find out. We're not allowed to straight up say that someone's lying, generally speaking, but that seems pretty clear he lied, a lot.

Every year I follow this EFT/tapping event online, where they post discussions/tapping stuff for 24 hours. I have a hard time getting around to listening to it all before they rotate 'em in and out, but today at work I was listening to one and the lady said "the energy of a problem is never the energy of what will provide the solution." Okay, I looked up the exact quote: '“No solution can possibly exist while you’re lost in the energy of a problem.” This is an interesting concept, but I'm not sure how you find a different energy, I guess?

Then the tapping host lady said that one time her baby had red itchy eyes and she was all upset and feeling guilty about not being able to solve it, so she was tapping on the angst of how she was feeling about it. The next day the eye problem was gone and it hadn't come back since. Now, I have no idea how THAT shit works, but it sounded promising? So I went out and tapped on my angst on the whole thing, i.e. whether or not this is ever going to happen or is never going to happen/is pointless and stupid.

I also started reading "One Last Stop" today and there's a mention of a drag queen neighbor having A Thing for the main character's new apartment-mate. It sounded...familiar. (I'm only typing the conversation quotes, not the extra bits.)

"I've been in love with Wes for like, five hundred years." "What? Are y'all...a thing?" "Oh no, I'm just in love with him." "Does he know?" "Oh yeah, I've told him. We've kissed like, three times, but he has that thing where he's terrified of being loved and refuses to believe he deserves it. It's so tedious...I'm joking. I mean, that is his deal. But I've never found that boy tedious."

Later, August asks Annie/Isaiah more about it: "Does it ever, like...I don't know. Make you lonely? To love somebody who can't meet you there?" "Sometimes. But, you know, that feeling?" When you wake up in the morning and you have somebody to think about? Somewhere for hope to go? It's good. Even when it's bad, it's good."

That's about how I feel about the whole situation. I know I should get over it, but when my options are (a) air, i.e. NOBODY for most of two decades, (b) mold (old dudes/wrong dudes) or (c) crumbs (this situation), frankly, the crumbs are a banquet to me. Sure, it'd be great if I could get a banquet someday, or even a fucking granola bar and I don't even like granola bars. But right now, a banquet--or the psychic's entrepreneur neighbor dude (I talked to Jackie tonight and she was all "Where is this dude? He has until April or else the psychic's full of shit," and I agreed)--is not on the table and there's no waiter or anyone else in the room. Better so far is not coming. So I dine on crumbs and I enjoy it, because having someone to think about makes me feel better compared to goddamned nothing.

Melinda said to me that "if this is what you want to spend your time on, if you need to do that voyage again, then do it," she'll hope things go well and will be there either way with no judgment. Thank you.

previous entry - next entry
archives - current entry