Chaos Attraction

Another Draining Day

2020-03-11, 9:27 p.m.

Another draining day at work, which I still had to go into today. They didn’t drop any more giant news bombs on anyone today, at least. I spent the morning having to go over every office email and every detail of all of them. I keep pointing out that I can’t handle all of the emails when nobody has trained me on a lot of this shit, again. I also started worrying that I was coming down with something, briefly, but I think I’m still fine and the paranoia is kicking in everywhere.

Some kid wants to transfer here because his school has switched to online classes and ours hasn’t yet. I said “uh, it’s highly likely that’s going to happen, so no point in transferring now.”

One coworker of mine (newest temp) asked if I was okay, because I was wearing a plain green top (albeit with a semi-fancy skirt). This is because if one knows one is going to be in trouble during the day, one does not feel like dressing all cute n’ cheerful. It just seems wrong, you know? Though as it turned out, management liked the skirt.

After lunch was the previously scheduled “Jennifer Sucks” meeting, This actually did not go so bad, I only got in trouble for the Monday meeting. I was asked how I thought I did at both meetings and both times I said that it doesn’t matter what I think, what matters is what other people think. (Tigress asked me beforehand how I was going to defend myself, and I said I wasn’t because it does no good and only makes everyone madder, and I’ve already been judged guilty so all I can do is go along with them.) I apologized for Monday and for not sitting up straight for fifty minutes of that meeting on Friday, and that I felt a bit ambushed being asked how I was out of nowhere.

But after the first twenty minutes, they were fine and it turned into my quizzing them about yesterday’s meeting and the “wtf” of “business as usual.” Their logic is that they don’t know what is going to go on between the strike and the virus, so they’ll just have to see how it goes as to how many people turn their work in. I asked if it was a “political” issue and the answer was “no, it was someone’s programming decision above our heads years ago that now causes a technical problem.” I also brought up “hey, we can’t work from home, just mentioning” again, which they did not talk about. But I’m definitely not expected to work from home, not even answering emails, that was established!

We were all so exhausted by the end of the day that the coworker who does Reiki broke out her magic bowl and fancy head tool and started doing Reiki on all of us. It took something like this for me to realize that between the Reiki and her asking me one time if I’m an empath (I think I have tendencies but don’t pass the Dr. Judith Orloff test on that), maybe that’s why I got the ambush question: she’s a closet hippie. I still wish she’d just talk to me about that shit NOT during meetings, though.

My personal email is full of events being canceled everywhere EXCEPT theater shows (one mailing list emphasized that they have plenty of sanitizing everything at their theater). Apparently every single group thing in the entire county in March is being shut down. Sarah sent me a link saying that they’re not going to make any official decisions about other events until April 1, so the Scottish Games are safe...for now. I’m trying to adjust to the likely fact that everything I want to do will be shut down: all my favorite festivals, all the shows, every fucking thing. This is insane. I feel like I’m starting to live in the Newsfleshverse, except so far we don’t have zombies. I know Seanan McGuire/Mira Grant has her finger on the pulse of horrible creepy biology things that might happen in the world, but I still never thought I’d be living life like that, a shut-in.

At least one way or another I will probably stay employed and get paid. I’m glad I’m not an independent artist (been reading about concert cancellations) or well, a lot of other professions right now.

People are still hanging out outside, mind you. I was exhausted after work and still made myself walk around for a bit, both to “get my steps in” and just while I still could. The weather’s lovely today, it’s a shame to waste it.

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