Chaos Attraction

Texas Storytelling Festival, Day 1

2021-03-11, 9:16 p.m.

Crappy anniversary, everybody! The day our world ended.

It's someone I know online's birthday today, poor bastard. We are moping a bit on the Slack channel.

I read this story and was all IT ME.

On a happier note,, it's the 50th day of the Biden administration! Thank gawd.

Biden's speech: The man is a pro at relating to people grieving (for well, obvious reasons, and also he's not an asshole like you-know-who). God, it's such a delight watching his administration and his employees actually doing things and caring about people and not being assholes. I feel like all of the work they are doing is about miraculous. Oh yeah, and all adults will be eligible for shots by May 1. Huzzah! He's hoping we can have family parties by July 1. Listen to Fauci. (Listen to how different THAT is.) Please get vaccinated so we don't have to have any more shutdowns. 25 delightful minutes.

I did hear back from Redhead Sarah: "I miss you too. I wish I had hugged you longer." She got her first shot today!!!!! Her next one is April 1, two days after my second one, so we shall be in the all clear together very soon. "We can celebrate your birthday safely I think," and "I have missed you so much! This gives me so much hope." I just ordered her a unicorn vaccination pin too.

On a cheerier note, the Texas Storytelling Festival started today and runs for four days, so that's something to hopefully keep me occupied. It seems very advantageous to have it online, since they seem to have people from all over the place. I note that they have a ton of different people at it too--or maybe I'm just used to Sierra (or that Florida one recently) where they have about six main performers throughout the weekend. This one seems to have a wide assortment on the schedule.

Notable moments: * Donna Washington saying that she likes folk tales and to mix in her personal life. She told a Brer Rabbit story and then said she had thought that Brer Rabbit was fiction. Then she told a story about her dad--darkest man she ever met, totally obsessed with knowing how to use all weapons, very tall, was of course in the military--and the story ends with her dad claiming they're all visiting from the West Indies--and that's when she knew Brer Rabbit really existed. She was fun. Her dad sounds fun, too. I wonder if he's an actual ninja with all those weapons?

One show was ghost stories, which unfortunately led to this song.... "My stepmama, she killed us. My papa, he ate us." (To papa's credit, he thought the kids were at Grandmama's and that the meat was a little weird....which is to say it wasn't deliberate.) Anyway, ewwwwww. In the chat, some smartass said, "tonight's lullaby!" Papa is all "I've been a good papa to you!" and I'm all, dude, you married someone you knew was awful because she was the only option.... Seriously, that's the only time I've ever heard a guy have to get married because he's desperate and this lady is his only option.

Later on, different storyteller (Donna Washington again): "And then she taught me how to butcher Papa." Turns out you should perhaps be concerned with all the bottles have names of men....and Mom keeps remarrying.... She specialized in "absolute brutes," but I suppose it made it easier for her to kill them.... "Oh, you remember my husband, Francis?" "Oh, yes, we remember him, we haven't seen him around. Well, of course they hadn't seen him around, he was cut up in the back of the cart." "He was a drunk and a lecher. He was also delicious." "He was always horrible, and beat her, and beat her, until she beat him to death." (Someone in chat: Heart is where the home is.) Turns out the narrator prefers to eat children instead, and unfortunately finds a sweet-smelling orphaned one. "Well, eventually, what was I supposed to do, I ate it." And it gave her the power of lightning. "It turns out adults are amazing fertilizer!" "In the end, I started making my house out of gingerbread. It was the easiest thing." "Who is nibbling at my house?" Other chat comments: "I don't like the way my wife is looking at me right now."

Tim Tingle to the host: "Do you think we should call someone and le them know where Donna is?" Sue the host: "We've got someone calling 911 right now."

Another one (Bernadette...I forget last name): "The cat was sitting in the flames, no trouble at all." "It's just a cat, and he continued reading his newspaper."

Tim Tingle: said he was going to have a vegetarian dinner tonight after this was over! I wasn't taking notes on this one involving a hunter (knitting again, also distracted by texting Sarah) but someone yelled out "BOOOOOOOORING" at one point (I'm guessing his mommy muted him after that) and then Tim puts it into his story 15 seconds later, yelling "BOOOOOOOOOOOORING" and then laughing. GOOD JOB, TIM.

I can't even get into the sad one from Elizabeth Ellis about two slaves and when one of them was going to be sold, his girlfriend was a conjurewoman and turned him into a tree...and then while she was out, the master cut the tree down.... :(

Later on (for them it's 10 pm, for me only 8!) they had the Fringe section. One guy told the story of Cinderella for a straight up half hour with the final twist of Cinderella decides not to marry the prince....I dunno about that one. Joyce Ormond (from my area) was in this one, good for her. I will note this is LITERALLY the most dressed up I have ever seen her, with a dress on and big earrings. "Winnie, you don't have problems with watermelon, you've gone into labor!" Anyway, she told farm stories and the whole "I wanted Tom Mix glow-in-the-dark spurs" story (her dad was all, you don't go riding in the dark, with spurs...)

The last story was about a butterfly-loving girl, hanging out with butterflies, and thwarting a boogeyman. I didn't take notes, but it was cute.

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