Chaos Attraction

Death Thing #1

2004-03-14, 10:25 p.m.

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The weekend went surprisingly well, given the situation. Friday and Saturday nights went about like usual- hit a restaurant and bookstore on Friday, and went shopping on Saturday. Mom found a sale at Richards on Italian charms and beads, so I of course stocked up. I wasn't planning on shopping this weekend, hah, but oh well. And then I ended up in Mervyns while waiting around for the parents, so ahem, I got some early birthday presents. God, I'm spoiled. But still excited to find a "poison ring" (i.e. ring with a little opening box on the top) with moons and stars on it in a size I could wear! I also found capris I could actually wear and a T-shirt that says "What boyfriend?" I adore it already.

I also ended up getting a black-and-white top and black pleated skirt.

I'd brought home laundry to do for the weekend, and as Mom went and attacked the pile (she doesn't let me do laundry at home, because I Do Not Do It Right), she said, "Why does this all smell like smoke? Did you bring those to Dave's house?"

"Uh, no, all of that is spring wear. It hasn't even BEEN to his house." Apparently my just putting the clothes in the bag made them smell like smoke. Even though ironically, the bag itself does not smell like smoke. Good god.

Anyway, while this was going on, she saw the outfit that I'd planned to wear to the funeral- a black top and matching skirt. She didn't like it.

"That's all black and too dark."

"Uh, we ARE going to a funeral. Aren't you supposed to wear black?"

"It's not a funeral, it's a service." She has referred to this with various terms- ceremony, memorial, blah de blah. Frankly, I can no longer keep track.

"Whatever! It's a Death Thing, all right?"

"Okay...But that's depressing to wear black. Why can't you wear your new black and white outfit?"

"What are you going to wear?"

"A pink blouse and a gray skirt. It's a celebration!" (At which point I get weirded out and start thinking, "Uh, this isn't Cold Sassy Tree here.")

"That just seems wrong to me to wear something that's so cheerful and...pink."

"Hmm. Maybe I should wear my yellow suit? It has a navy stripe on it..."

We were supposed to attend a church service before going out to the grave with the minister, so we met my aunt, uncle and cousins there. My aunt was wearing a navy jacket and skirt, but my cousins were all in pink or blue sexy sundresses. Me wearing the black and white uh... looked off. As it turned out, my cousins had all wanted to wear black too and had gotten the same line from Aunt Susie.

Anyway, my cousins hadn't been to this church since the last time someone died, so they were feeling kind of weird. I ended up gossiping with them quite a lot (first thing out of Alicia upon seeing me: "So, how was the bomb threat?") and we had a great time. Alicia wanted me to see her new bunny, Cassie's bunny has knocked up another bunny and there's going to be babies by Easter, yay! I am now tempted to look into getting a house rabbit, though I dunno about that being a good idea.

The service was kinda strange. I opened up the program and found a birth announcement for the child of a guy I went to school with. That is just WRONG to see, man. And my mom was writing checks and thank-you letters and filling out paperwork during the service, which cracked me up no end since she used to bitch me out for even wiggling at church.

As for the death thing...it wasn't bad. Everyone went out to the now-3-in-1 grave and stood around while the minister did his thing. I heard a lot of nice stories about my grandfather nobody'd ever mentioned to me before. The grandkids didn't have much to say when we were asked to tell memories beyond "he stole our candy", alas. But in the context, this came out kind of funny. And as it turned out, there was more to the fork story than Mom had let on- apparently Granddaddy used to say something akin to that e-mail after dessert had been served. I said that she should have put candy in with the ashes instead. I didn't cry. The cousins all did, Dad did (?) and Aunt Susie did, but Mom? Nope. Very strange. Anyway, it was a surprisingly cheerful experience, and we all went out to Chili's afterwards.


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