Chaos Attraction

A Whopping Feeling of Doom

2020-03-17, 10:25 p.m.

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Cast list as of November 2019

I had a whopping feeling of doom going on for today. After hearing that the entire Bay Area was closed, I couldn’t help but think that we are next. I packed my shit up at work yesterday, and I brought my car today, y’know, Just In Case. I was not wrong.

Emailed with Yemi (already working from home) and we decided to keep the Yarn Club mailing list going, at least. I certainly am lining up things to send out for it.

I did get to talk to my therapist today. She’s staying in New York with her 97-year-old mother and said her mother would have had nothing had she not stayed. However, horrifyingly, her husband went back to California on Sunday because he had to work and his job wasn’t letting him do that from home. Of course NOW his work has changed their minds, but they think it’s too dangerous for him to try to fly back, so they are now separated for the duration. My god. I can’t even. This is all so sad and horrifying and we haven’t even started the whopping illnesses and death tolls yet.

By comparison, she said I was “chipper.” Well, that was at the start of the day. I did tell her all the work drama beforehand, which she was properly horrified about, but what can you do? (Btw, I insisted on using my old office for this call and nobody said a damn thing against it.)

Though she did have one good news story for me: a friend of hers had to go back to work and got a job in San Diego that’s worse (“four people have died,” I think she said) and said friend has been dying to get back to NYC. She is currently in NYC now with her daughter, who may have been exposed. Her work was all, “So you’ll be back in 2 weeks then?” And then out of nowhere she got offered a job in NYC and will be able to say, “take this job and shove it.”

The only thing I was slightly wrong on was that the entire county hasn’t been shut down yet, but the City Council met today and decided to enact Shelter In Place here too. Just here, I guess. So far. I saw this online in the morning and forwarded it on to the bosses, ahem. By 2ish or so they got the notification.

(Oh yeah, and we now have officially four cases here, but the county said they weren’t going to bother to update the total any more since it was only going to go up. Two “community” infections, two “went traveling” ones. So far nobody dead yet.)

I’ll say this to their credit, they actually got shit done on the work from home front. Made us sign paperwork about it, got tech guy consent, whatever. They let me pack up my computer and the two dual monitors, instructed me on how to use the VPN, said that nobody can get onto the VPN....oookay then. Whatever, deal with it tomorrow.

Weirdly enough, the giant org hasn’t said SHIT on their website about this going down. They did send out notice earlier saying that all recreation programs are closed for the duration, including the CC, so there’s that. And that they are closing the lone remaining restaurant by 4.

Tigress did come in today and she seemed fine, thank goodness. (Now what, I wait 14 days to see if I come down with anything?) You know what’s weird? This is most likely the last time I ever see Tigress. We’ve been buds for years, but odds are we don’t come back before her retirement starts. Couldn’t even hug her (or anyone else) goodbye.

I stole boxes of Kleenex and one bottle of hand sanitizer that someone had forgotten about in a back corner. I am unashamed of this. I’m surprised nobody else was doing it, maybe they assume we’re all coming back. I also found a hidden stash of face masks and took one and had the new temp take some too.

I'm home now for the duration. Got all the computer stuff plugged in but Internet is gonna be a challenge and VPN even...worse? I told them I'd be willing to work late at night (SINCE I CAN'T DO ANYTHING BLOODY ELSE) to have less people on the thing, but it sounds like once again, they probably just want everyone to be very early morning ("I can get on at 4:45 a.m.," someone chirped), for meetings, etc. Gawd.

After I got all my shit packed up, I didn't want to leave work(!) because I was thinking, I'm never going to see people again, I'm never going to be in a room with people again. At one point we had ten people in the call center and I counted noses (I know, I know) and I was all fuck, this may never happen again.

They still haven’t figured out how to handle the call center, incidentally. They said we’ll have to let go of all of our student employees because they’re not allowed to work from home, so that leaves...not a lot of people to do the public service shit, i.e. all the newest hires, basically. I don’t think they ever figured out the phone, even though I said multiple times that I think they’re just going to have to limit it all to email under the circumstances.

Actually, as far as I heard today, the call center employees AREN’T ALLOWED TO WORK FROM HOME AT ALL, still, unless they get special dispensation from ... whoever. Which they had not heard about by the end of the day. Those people seemed fine with it, mind you, but still! I’d be so mad! Heck, it’s not even me and I’m mad on their behalf. .

Oh yeah, and our mailing is DONE, y’all. All those special international documents? Fuhgettaboutit. I emailed my international mail contact (haven’t heard back), the big shot offices (they are fine with waiting to order if they have to), and our printer office, who called me and was OMG SUPER FUCKING CHIPPER LIKE YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE. I know she’s like that all the time, mind you, but she was all, “Oh, we have plenty of staff and we’re cross trained and we can handle everything,” and I was thinking, “If you weren’t on the other coast, I would fucking apply to work at your office because that sounds like a miracle.”

After I got home and unpacked the car, I walked around the neighborhood, which was of course very quiet. I saw people walking down the street and then I'd have to walk across the street to get out of their way. I don't like feeling like Cootie Girl, or having to treat everyone else around me like they have cooties (had to immediately wipe down things every time a coworker lunged for my phone or my computer). I feel like we'll lose all our social calibrations. I’m still seeing signs on the street, for what it’s worth. A lot of rings and some hearts. What is the point of this now?

Before all the shit blew up, I looked at the bar’s website and...they are still open, having performances, said the rules don’t qualify for them, more or less. The karaoke banner was taken off their webpage, but that could just be because that one advertised Pyrate and he’s gone, I dunno. I did hear from Robert, saying that he didn’t want to be on a group text because those can blow up your phone* but would be fine with a one on one check in once in a while. He also said that Jim posted on Facebook that karaoke was on tonight. To which I was all, what the hell? Like...governor’s edict, bars supposed to close, also Ashley has health problems....

* What I didn’t say aloud: what does it matter now? We’re all gonna be fucking shut-ins who can’t do anything! I can’t promise it won’t blow up, but frankly, I’d like some fucking chatter right now.

I haven’t texted either Karaoke Jim or Ashley tonight. I just... I can’t even. And then the SIP came down so I don’t know if that affected anything. But one way or another given my school/people exposure I didn’t feel like I should go anyway. Waaaaaaaaaah.

I started the group check-in text tonight and the other Jim didn’t say anything, Scott mostly just said he was glad I was safe. I asked about the store since I got an email from his mother saying that they were remaining open as long as they could so people can still get paid (also sounds like they are still getting business though, so good for them). Yup. That was about it. Good lord, when did he get so dude-y and not that chatty? This is weird.

This is never going to happen under the circumstances, is it. Well, what’s the point now. And now they are saying we’re going to have to live like this for a year to 18 months. Seriously?! How are we to not go to the dentist, to get any other kind of non-urgent medical care, for most of the world to not be able to work AT ALL, for that long?!?! This is insanity.

I’m too depressed to even drink tonight. That would require effort on my part to open a bottle and that seems hard right now. Hell, opening the candy I brought back from work seems too hard right now.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day.

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