Chaos Attraction

Part of the Same Tribe

2020-03-19, 8:40 p.m.

Am somewhat more drained by work today. I started crying during my first (of three) Zoom meetings of the day, with BigBoss. However, BigBoss insisted that everyone mute themselves, so nobody knew and it was all right. I also started crying during online work meditation class, but managed to not cry during my afternoon meetings. So there’s something.

Actual discussion of where to find toilet paper came up during the first meeting. Actual quote from BigBoss: “Someone said you could use leaves. I said leaves? Okay, though I don’t have any leaves in my house right now...” Also, BigBoss literally does not know what a liquor store is (New Temp Sarah said she found TP in one). “What is a liquor store?” Um, what did you think it was when it was mentioned? *boggle*

We also had to sit through a presentation which clearly was created before this crap went down, as I kept thinking, “this is about groups, which is no longer relevant.” No offense meant to the person giving it, but I can’t help but think that this no longer matters.

It is some very unfortunate timing that I am in a relatively not-totally-drowning state at the moment because I can’t do anything mail related and fuck only knows what is going to happen with my main area right now. Because guess what...

I am very tired of having this conversation over and over and over again:
“Jen, can you please take over doing all of the emails?”
“I am answering all the ones that I can. However, I have NOT been trained in (bunch of shit), so I CANNOT ANSWER THOSE. Either train me on it or leave me be, but I can’t just guess that shit. I AM DOING ALL THE ONES THAT I CAN. I SWEAR I AM NOT SLACKING, HONEST.”
“Uh....can you please take over doing all of the emails anyway? Just try?


It doesn’t help that 60% of the emails (i.e. the ones Tigress is losing it over) are all special crap I never got any training on and involve a lot of issues with regards to coronavirus, so it perennially looks like I am doing nothing to help anyone (even if I can do the other 40%, but frankly, sometimes it’s smaller than that) and I am being judged on that. Look, I’ll do what I can and if I at least somewhat have a clue about an area I’ll try it and if I need to email the boss, I’m doing it, but if I literally do not know what the email is talking about, I’m leaving it be for someone who knows. I wouldn’t expect anyone else to answer some of the stuff I get either if I’m the only one who does it. I don’t go around asking for help with my work for that reason since we can’t do cross training. I have been told that Tigress is too busy to train, and I get that, and I’m not asking for it. BUT IF YOU WANT ME TO DO THIS SHIT, I HAVE TO GET TRAINED. IF YOU CAN’T TRAIN ME, THEN I CAN’T DO IT. IT’S THAT SIMPLE. The choice is up to you. There really isn’t a third reasonable option.

("Can't you read the procedures?" They haven't been updated in ages, and guess who doesn't have time to do that either.)

It was somewhat admitted today that yes, Jennifer can’t be expected to work on (special shit) without any knowledge of same, but somehow the harping still kinda continues? Plus now, “can you answer the portals? There’s over 100 all the time.”

At least they are not going to put me on the phones, so there’s that. No headset available for it, Grandboss found ONE that she is going to drive to Tigress after work.

I got to “leave early” because we can’t work overtime and I had to put that I set up my computer at home for an hour on my timesheet. I went to go lie down in bed and then Jackie started texting me....she’s sick but not with coronavirus symptoms, they are quarantining, her relatives are fine.

In other news, I listened to this podcast and felt The Rage. It was this whole thing on “why I don’t ever want to get married.” To which I am all, okay, fine, it’s your life, about the only reason you might want to is for legal/next of kin shit. But about fifteen minutes in I hit The Rage, because this chick of course met her boyfriend early on in life and was all, she’s always had great relationships and had them work out well and been lucky. “But love is not that interesting. Love is natural and it’s easy.... it’s not an accomplishment to fall in love with someone.” Meredith, the host, is single and ah...I think she feels differently? I concur that I bet this girl has some very easy astrology or something, but it still made me want to smack her for thinking that love is easy. It never has been for me and never will be.

I haven’t received any emails from Cost Plus about any sales in a few days! Car repair shops are open and taking precautions.

My anti-affirmation calendar today said, “Never postpone what you can cancel.” Some days the coincidences are eerie with that thing.

The karaoke bar is now closed except for takeout, like everything else. Looks like they only closed live events oh, yesterday.

Mom is fine and moving in with Roger tomorrow rather than living in her house and pretending to clean. (I asked “how is your confidential shred going?” and.... nope.) Huzzah. Meg is fine. I heard from my cousin (squared) Randall and he’s enjoying gardening at home but wants to go back to work (well...).

As for theater, Robert e-mailed everyone that Linda emailed suggesting we do some kind of video conference read-aloud of the script, and I wrote back, “Hey, I was talking to her about a podcast...anyone know anything about that?” Later he texted me: “You’re on my mind, friend. We’re part of the same tribe, and I am protective of my tribe. I’ve got your back even though we’re miles apart.” Awwwwww. Followed by “BIG hug. Jennifer sized hug.” Awwwwwwww.

Someday, years from now, everyone gets tackle hugged into eternity.

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