Happy April Fool’s Day, we had no time for that shit here today.

Notable moments of the workday:

* After my boss (in That Meeting) brought up a theoretical scenario in which someone wins the lottery and decides they don’t need no education after all, I started busting up laughing, falling onto the table, and then singing, “We don’t need no education.”

I counted ten stifled yawns during the meeting from me (as usual, it boiled down to about three people debating over something I know little about) but at least I didn’t end up stabbing myself in the leg to stay awake. So there’s that! Though it occurred to me that whoever I am sitting next to (especially the coworker I normally sit next to most of the time since we are buds) might heavily object to the leg-stabbing, so I dunno if that’s an option either.

For those wondering, “why don’t you just get a fidget spinner and bring that to work,” it turns out those things make noise while spinning and people would notice it.

* Apparently there were religious protesters outside somewhere today. Happily I went the other direction and missed them, but New Girl checked it out, talked to the security guards and they were all, “That guy has literally been doing it for 46 years.” There was also some guy who was standing behind them with a sign over his head saying, “I am a Thot!” I don’t know what that means exactly, but the photo New Girl took of this was amusing. I gather she volunteered to hold his sign for him if he needed to take a break or something. New Girl was amused when I told her this information later.

I need to come up with a fun alias for New Girl, but so far I don’t think I’ve thought of anything quite right yet. So far the best I’ve got involves jokes about her hamster, which is more about her hamster than her, so I dunno.

* GQ had a rough weekend: a friend died in a car accident, Nipsey Hussle died, and then he got rear-ended. Poor guy.

Meanwhile, I have been all “Nipsey who and how do you spell hustle?” this weekend (note: at FemmeFest, one of the “Double Threat” performers had the suggested topic about talking about her last Google search, and she said she looked for that) until someone pointed out that he was in the “Sexy Getting Ready Song” on Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. Bummer, man. That was a good moment.

* As per usual, work was insane. 22 calls per hour, 135 all day, the lady who is in charge of phones said she answered 46 calls. Shoot me on the day they put me back on this.

Seriously, the human demand for someone to constantly be answering questions is too damn much.

On a more fun note: Knitting group had several fun quotable moments today!

* “I’m nearly sixty years old and I’m married and I fucking drink beer!” -Alison
* “What kind of Californian would I be if I didn’t have a pair of neon pink socks?” --Joyce, also wearing tie-dye today
* “You are something else.” -Alison to me after I tried on the sweater I am making for the group
* Randi was talking about how her brother has colon cancer and two small children, one with a disability, and he was wondering what his family would do without him. Her answer, about his wife, was, “Oh, don’t worry, she’ll get married again!” I about died laughing at this.

In other news, I have been rereadng E-Squared, a book on psychic experiments n’ shit like that. I have decided to attempt to do at least some of these again like I did back in 2014 when I got the book and see how much of it works, though I will probably not bother with the one about growing random bean plants because I don’t need anything like that.

The first experiment is to ask the universe (or whatever we’re calling that) for some blessing to happen to me within 48 hours. I did the asking for this as of 7:20 this morning, so one more day to go. We shall see.

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