Chaos Attraction

Surprise Hiring Problem

2020-04-03, 9:34 p.m.

I finally finished writing this up, about how our world is turning into the Newsfleshverse.

I can’t take optimistic people asking me “will your office be open next week?” or “We’ll be open again by June, right?” NO. NO, WE WILL NOT.

Today’s meeting: my boss asked everyone to say how they were feeling and what they last ate. To which I was all, “I don’t know how I feel and I don’t remember what I last ate.” (Followed by “No, I don’t eat breakfast. I’m not HUNGRY for breakfast.” Why does literally no one on the planet get that some of us wake up sluggish and tired for hours, and that also applies to stomachs?) Then she asked me if I have any pets, and I said no because before this, I was never home so what was the point. Yes, it’s just me, my office plant, and the spider in the shower. God, I hope I don’t get to the point of naming the spider or something.

Should I name it Charlotte? No, no.

Then we had to sit through someone trying to figure out how to run the new phone line, which did not work at all, and she made a crack about needing to play the Jeopardy theme. I proceeded to sing it--the full two minutes of it--which redeemed me at that meeting, apparently.

My work has now hooked me up with unlimited Zoom, so I have that option if/when I want to use it.

Guess what, there’s yet another emergency situation in which a foreign client needs his documents sent to his country ASAP for a job! Guess how that’s going to go!

On a related note, I had to write an official letter to (other foreign country) explaining why my client can’t get her important document to them because I no longer have access to mail. I had a really good finish on the letter at the end saying stuff like “I notice you’ve also lost access to your mail, according to her email” (which is to say, “even if I could send it, apparently you can’t get mail either?”) and “These days we all need to start making exceptions in order to serve our clientele and not hamper their progress in life,” and “Seriously, she already sent you all the information that you need and under the circumstances, you don’t NEED another document that says less than the info you already have, and also you shouldn’t be snobby about the fact that it was sent electronically these days because we don’t have mail any more,” and “I know that foreign businesses don’t want to accept our other paperwork, but since we have a global pandemic emergency going on, I’d really appreciate it if you made an exception here.” Stuff like that. I sent this to my client to look at before I mailed it and she liked it, commenting that the global pandemic line was “a bit sentimental, but under the circumstances, leave it in.” Let’s hope it works.

Other than that, I was not too fried today, probably because Tigress “left early” for the day and I had no afternoon meetings. I did have giant “FIX THESE RECORDS PLEASE” dumped on my head by around 3, but other than that it was pretty chill.

In other fun news, there's good news and bad news: my giant org has pledged to try to rehire people who have lost their jobs due to coronavirus. Great! However, as of two days ago (way to let people know in time to announce this on April 3! That is officially an even worse bomb-drop than any BigBoss has pulled) they are halting all in-process hiring NOW and unless you've made someone an offer, it sounds like an entire committee has to approve who you hire now and it sounds implied that it needs to be a current employee who's losing their job. And we were close but not close enough to hire people for my extremely short-staffed unit. I'm sure they didn't make an offer before April 1 because god forbid, they wouldn't have had their shit together enough for that.

Which is to say: my unit is down to two people and one of them is retiring in June and the odds of hiring replacements before she leaves is now extremely goddamned slim now that the people in the top slots are going to get thrown out...and have to be approved via committee...and HR was difficult enough as is before this...Also screws one of our temp employees who wanted to apply for another permanent job here, which only just got listed. Fuck.

I did another 90 minutes of walking around the house while watching videos today--mostly Lindsay Ellis taking down “Cats” the movie. I continue to catch up on YouTube and do Pick A Card readings.

I really liked this one--I picked deck 2--and goddamn, it was accurate. Definitely nailed you-know-who’s personality and even had a card in it called “The Champions,” and she kept making Queen/Freddie Mercury references. “Could be a big fan of Queen, Freddie Mercury.” HAHAHAHAHAH.

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