Well, I actually worked on cleaning up my closet today, so you know I’ve hit rock bottom. I didn’t clean up all the clothes mess, mind you (I did laundry before this started and I still haven’t removed the clothes from the basket and I still can’t deal with that yet, apparently), but I did put things like pants and skirts into the closet because those aren’t getting worn for the duration.

I don’t know what to make of the “now everyone has to wear a mask” rule now. (Or whatever it is.) I did not keep most sewing supplies around the house because I always did sewing at the Craft Center, so having appropriate fabric for this, elastic, etc. is unreachable for me now. I have some fancy thick-yet-breathable microfiber towel, I might just tie that around my face for lack of a better option. Or, just, y’know, not leave the house. That’s easiest.

I am concerned that I STILL have not received my PIN for my new bank card yet. I am signed up to get preview of my snail mail in my email and it still hasn’t shown up yet (and I’m not leaving to get the mail until it does) and I am very concerned that my old bank card is now 4 days past expiration and it still hasn’t arrived even though they were all “7-10 days.” Bullshit.

OH GOD THE LAWN GUYS AGAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN

I walked around my apartment for an hour and a half (which would normally be 10k on the pedometer...and instead came out to 4800, even worse than yesterday, WTF) while watching Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat by Andrew Lloyd Webber. Thoughts:

* Donny Osmond spends 3/4 of this mostly naked and pretty.
* Why is there a framing story of this being in a (very boring) school?
* Why is the narrator literally interacting with the plot?
* They totally raided a craft store for storebought yarn in the “Jacob and Sons” number.
* This is why obvious favoritism is bad, mmkay?
* Sure, Joseph’s brothers are jerks, but at the same time you can’t blame them for being upset at the obvious favoritism going on.
* Also, Joseph seems like he’d be a pretentious pain in the ass, what with the psychic dreams and all.
* For it being a title character, Joseph gets to keep that coat for a whopping five minutes.
* That dreamcoat is pretty well NEON.
* I have decided that since Halloween, like most everything else, is probably canceled, I shall dress up as Joseph for Halloween because I already have a technicolor dreamcoat. No need to make anything new this year.
* They just...pulled legs off a goat?
* I swear to god, “One More Angel In Heaven” feels like they pulled it from “Oklahoma!”
* Joan Collins as Pothiphar’s wife. Damn.
* Is Joseph being sexually harassed, raped, or what? Seems implied there’s an orgy in this one.
* “We’ve been outside and you’re on the marquee” is actually in the lyrics.
* SO MUCH GODDAMNED HIPPIE SEVENTIES NEON IN THIS.
* The baker and the butler are in jail for “doing their thing,” which the narrator delivers in a lascivious tone. Does that mean they were banging? Are they in jail for being gay? If so, how did one get out of jail and one did not?
* I think this musical is pretty crazy, but I do like how the Pharaoh is basically Elvis.
* Joseph literally checks the narrator’s Bible to interpret the dream, I guess.
* The narrator just keeps chanting, “Grovel! Grovel! Grovel!” when the brothers return.

I also finished rereading the book that I finished in the first full week of March after a few days originally. Only took me what, three weeks to reread now?

The weather looks very chilly outside. I don’t have to care. They are forecasting rain for days and I don’t have to care about that either. I guess it’ll be good since we are going to have drought again (y’know, in addition to everything else).

It’s been a long time since I watched any corgi videos, so I decided to see how Ryen and Gatsby were doing. They are fine.

I wish I had some brownies. But I had one lava cake left in the fridge, so I ate that.

I’m watching Superstore, “Customer Safari,” which has just the best scavenger-hunt-y idea I think I’ve ever seen. The show takes place in a big box store and they’re always having random tiny shots of weird shit people do in the store. Well, in this episode, Garrett (my favorite character) turns this into a game, giving people points for taking photos of crazy shit. It’s a delight and I immediately wanted to do this so bad. But, y’know, real life. So now I am trying to brainstorm a Zoom version of this. I decided to ask for suggestions online, but other people were decidedly not interested.

In other news, the Queerentine ladies from last weekend put on an online karaoke show, so I did that. I had to turn on my camera this time, explained that last week I had it off due to crying, the understood. Anyway, they were all very nice and busted out a lot of wigs, which was delightful. There were only a few people doing it this go-round, so it was intimate. My computer decided to take a dump right after I did my first song so I was out of it for a bit, but it cooperated later.

Anyway, the way they worked it was that you had to look up whatever song you wanted plus the word “karaoke” on YouTube, find a video of the song, share your screen, and sing along, preferably into some kind of object. I had an actual microphone, but I saw one chick using a rubber chicken and another a plastic dinosaur. Technologywise this was all rather iffy when various tech wasn’t quite cooperating (I had my computer freezing mid-song and it didn’t share the screen on the second one, some songs came out very garbled, some screen shares really cut off the text), but hey, just working out the kinks. It was fun. “Poker Face” went well except for me forgetting to hit screen share, but “It’s All Coming Back To Me Now” had a very strange karaoke video featuring seven minutes of some emo girl walking around her kitchen, in a garden, moping in the bathroom, etc. and my screen froze at times, so I ended up ah, making up my own lyrics. Ah well. It was fun. I made notes for future reference.

Okay, so I got nothing else to do, let’s angst about whether or not to contact Scott again! While I am watching some video about how to text dudes!

1. I normally text him* if there’s some reason to do so, like “hey, today’s calendar was funny” or “I found a Hamilton/Queen thing” or after the Badger incident. Right now I have no particular excuse or reason to do that. I am not exactly coming across cool shit n the same ways that I normally would encounter, and he more or less doesn’t have Internet at his house up in the boonies/hills**, so sending him stuff from online doesn’t really fly.

* well, to be fair, I normally only text anybody if there is some reason to do so, which usually boils down to “I found a funny thing to show you.” For example, texting Jackie all the Disneyland home rides stuff.
** Metered Internet.

2. “How are you?” is kind of a loaded question these days.

3. I really don’t want to answer it when people ask me that question. If I ask someone, they will ask me it back and UH-OH.

I am technically okay physically. In some respects I am doing great in entertaining myself and I don’t feel particularly lonely. I’m not getting to talk to everyone I want to, but I’m at least getting it from some people. And in other respects, there’s the spontaneous fucking crying/bathrobe lifestyle/agoraphobia shit. I am crying LESS this week, so that’s good--or at least when I’ve burst out into tears thinking “eighteen months,” I’ve managed to stop myself (twice as of 10:08 a.m. as I write this part of the journal)--but it’s still not something I super want to address in actual conversation with folks. Especially at work where I will be penalized. I mention it here because literally nobody reads this journal and who gives a shit.

(Really, all of my online writing is purely for me and me keeping track of things better than if I had everything saved in random files (if I ever go David Sedaris in my career, it’ll be a lot easier to read these journals), and I do not care if anyone else reads anything. These days it’s probably better that no one does.)

4. If he’s being all “I have a boring existence” and having nothing to say, I don’t know what the hell else to do either. I’m a walking soap opera even by myself, and the fact that I’m maintaining a journal and still have a lot to say in it despite not leaving the house shows what I’m like. So I can certainly blabber on, but that’s not exactly mutual conversation.

I do dumb shit like card draws from my “Whispers of Love” oracle deck and I keep drawing “Listen With Your Heart” on this topic. Except my heart doesn’t fucking know either.

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