Chaos Attraction

Entertaining Hot Mess Life

2019-04-05, 11:39 p.m.

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New Girl had a crazy day:
* She forgot the hamster was living in her bathtub, turned on the shower to get it warm, wandered away, and came back to find wet hamster. The hamster was fine and at least now clean.
* The cat hurt his head so now he has a Cone of Shame.
* And her water heater was leaking or some such so she spent half the day out dealing with that.

When she came into work, she said, “My life’s a hot mess, but it’s an entertaining hot mess.” This almost makes me want to dub her Hot Mess except she is very competent and that is entirely inappropriate to her actual personality. However, since she has the same name as someone else mentioned in thishere journal, I still need to think of something.

My officemates have dubbed this week the hardest week. One of them (the one who mentioned drinking also) was talking about going home and eating her feelings because she needs to stop all the wine.

However, I am actually NOT FRIED TODAY. Like, level ONE on a scale of 1-10 being drained, y’all! The new policy of “let’s just let people do what they want without forcing me to grant them permission for 2 months when I get 5-10 of those per hour” that my boss just instituted has super cut my insane immediate workload. Huzzah!

After work, since I actually had energy, wasn’t starving or wanting to drink, and it wasn’t raining, I wandered around downtown getting my steps in and trying to think of something to do (and failing, really). I did encounter the following:

* My neighbor, who has the world’s blingiest bike. I complimented her on it and said I decorate the same way, and she said, “It’s wonderful how life can be. All you have to do is be it.”

* There was a crazy guy literally walking down the street (where I wanted to go) ranting his head off. He hadn’t QUITE gotten to the point of screaming obscenities, but one got the feeling he was kind of borderline on this topic. I went the other way.

* On the way home, encountered two guys who apparently didn’t know what town they were in. This is concerning.

Given the amount of roaming crazy on the streets, maybe it’s best to come indoors.

I also bought a ton of on-sale clothes at ThinkGeek and a bunch of amusing patches that I need to put on something sometime.


I read Tony n’ Tina’s Wedding’s...script, for lack of a better word, today. There is not much for my character to do. Literally, I am the next to last person listed and I do the following: (a) hand out appetizers, (b) my one bit of lines is telling people where to line up for food, and (c) standing behind my husband while he hams it up. That’s it. The backstory link from the other day seems to indicate that some interfamily brawling happens (which is not in the plot outline), but I think my four kids(!) were cut from the show, so I doubt that goes on. I’m like, what is the point of having me in the show then?

Oh, and guess who my husband is? That 70’s Scott. Good lord, did he fucking rob the cradle or what?!? OY. Now I’m picturing him as a 30-year-old lech hanging around the high school, probably getting 16-year-old Loretta high on something and then knocked up. (Character bio written!)

Seriously, it...bugs me that the director sees me as a sad, miserable 40’s lady. Good lord, I’m not. Just...man, it’s a bummer. Look, I’m happy to be in a show and lord knows I’ll never be a lead and I need to pop my ego-bubble and know my place in life is at the bottom, but...I think I have the least fun part in a fun show, you know? I hope that plays out differently in rehearsals, but who knows. No singing, no dancing, just being a waitress. I’m literally described as not having left the Coliseum (family business? never does say exactly?) or having gotten any new clothes for 40 years. Whee. Like...this was not going on in the audition, you know? That’s what she saw in me?

I don’t want to whine or be ungrateful and hopefully this is not how it plays out in real life, but it doesn’t look too good from the text.

(Also, the person who got cast in the part I wanted...not a nerdy weirdo sort. She is like a Disney princess. But it turns out that part needs a singer, so.. at least she sings, I guess.)

The show will not be a period piece (sigh, am disappointed in no 80’s), in New York. Of course it is. I think my therapy sessions are going to be dedicated to developing New Yawk accent since my therapist is from there. Though it is kind of ironic that I am like, the one person in the universe who is not even a tiny bit interested in or fascinated by New York* and now we're supposed to immerse ourselves in New York culture and like, learn what a borough is. I feel like I've seen enough NYC oh, everywhere already, but I can't say I'm psyched to learn what the streets are or whatever. And yeah, should look into picking up the accent.

* it sounds like all the things I hate about San Francisco, minus all the things I like about San Francisco.

I’ll be honest: not super looking forward to developing my character’s backstory. It looks like nothing but sad and depressing. Again, I hope that is not what the director is going for in the end, but...sigh.


I did not find or even see a single guitar pick. I think my magical mojo is dead there.


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