It's been a confusing week.

So, next week, I had a slew of appointments set up. On Tuesday, I had to go pick up a prescription during work hours, then I had to go home that night. On Wednesday, I had a hair appointment (erk) in the morning and a doctor's appointment that afternoon. On Friday, I had to go to the DMV to get my ID renewed. I hadn't wanted to have a doctor's appointment on Wednesday, but Mom had the day off from work post-taxes and was already going to an appointment herself, so what the hell.

I found out at the beginning of the week that "Oh, we don't have the 16th off, we have the 18th off. Can you change your appointment for then?" Uh, no, I don't know about you, but I certainly can't get a doctor's appointment THAT fast. Plus there was the DMV.

After a lot of annoying calling around, changing of train tickets, and other annoyances, I am now going home to the doctor's the first Friday in May, and going home to go to the hairdresser (one who's supposedly dealt with hair loss) Easter weekend.

And would you believe AFTER I'd already changed the doctor's appointment, Mom was all "You know, I could just take that day off anyway and you could keep your appointment..." Plus, she seemed to think that I'd take the whole day off from work just to get my hair done if I couldn't go to the doctor. Huh?

Then there's Picnic Day, which is just a confusing mess all around. Mom doesn't want to go any more, especially if it rains (they've been predicting rain for the day for a week now, ARGH), but refuses to say for sure one way or the other if she will go or not. She said she'd decide Wednesday, now she's all "How late can we decide? Is Friday night all right?" I think she's waiting to find out both if it rains and if Dave will be around. I haven't heard from my aunt if I'm welcome to join her posse or not, but I don't much care, to be honest. Going around in a mob of 8 is bad enough, in a mob of more than that, well...

Dave, however, is definitely not going this weekend, which will probably delight the hell out of my family. *sigh* Wouldn't you know it, the renters miraculously decided to clear out at the last minute after having the place totally trashed YESTERDAY.

I somehow think I'll be spending my weekend totally alone. Oh well.

Speaking of scheduling mishaps, I was supposed to have my first sign language class tonight. I was kind of worried about it, since they'd changed the date and meeting room a few times by now. Well, I got the room right and the date right, as did the other people in the class. It's the teacher that presumably didn't...or at least he never showed up and we couldn't find him anywhere in the building. And of course the class office was closed for the night.

Oh well, at least I got to watch Survivor, since I'd forgotten to tape it.

For those of you who might have been wondering why I'm not updating so much of late, well, I am in an asshole mood. I seem to be losing my prized restraint and have been going off on people constantly. Dave's been bitched at, griped at, whined at, and perhaps even insulted on a daily basis for the last two weeks, and I truly don't know why he keeps wanting to speak to me and put up with that. I don't seem to be able to control myself from any innocuous (or not) topic leading me down the Spiral of Shameful Bigmouthed Behavior. I can't even tell when I'm becoming offensive any more, I just start going off and then am shocked later at what I've done. I've shoved my foot down my throat so many times of late that it's coming out my ass. (Wow, after so many years of ballet, I finally became flexible!)

I've had to kick myself off chat for offensive behavior at least every other day in the last two weeks, and I'm sure everyone there thinks I'm a rabid baby-hater who thinks all mommies and babies should be shot immediately. I'm starting to wonder if I'm that myself. I wig out when someone says something I (and apparently no one else) finds scary, say something or other, and then everyone is utterly shocked that I would ever say or think such a thing, and I immediately feel like I should be dragged out into the street and shot for being a Bad Woman. Because I am missing the womanly genes that would lead me to understand that, for example, no mother would EVER want to be parted from her baby for any reason after it was just born. Even Dave thought I was utterly beyond wrong for suggesting a babysitter while the mom slept. I don't have the feelings or sensibility at all to even get why this is wrong on my own. It wouldn't even occur to me.

I SUCK.

Am I really the only person out there who gets scared at the idea? I sure feel like it. Especially when people tell me I'm being ridiculous and there's nothing to be frightened over and wouldn't it be fun to have my own baybeeeeeeee? Don't I want one now? Why not?

Perhaps I should kick myself off chat every time the subject of pregnancy horrors comes up too, just to save us all some time, pain, and misery.

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