Chaos Attraction

Family Dinner Improv

2019-04-10, 7:50 p.m.

At work: the last person in the scheduling unit (the manager) retired today. She gave me a hug, a nice card telling me to keep up my designs, and a Starbucks gift card. Very sweet. She also said, “you bring so much color and joy to the office.” AWWWWWWWWW. She also said (not directly to me) “you’ll know when you’re ready to go.” Hrmm. yeah.

Also, GQ liked my outfit today and appreciated the work I put into it, which is also very sweet. Dude has more fashion interest than he admits to (at least when his wife is around, I take it, because I would not want to take him shopping).

As for rehearsal: We were supposed to figure out answers to character questions in the book, some of which we got established (Mr. Vitale died by falling off a table while making a toast, Mrs. Nunzio disappeared suspiciously) and some we still seem to be debating, like how far along Connie is (seven months? eight?). We established that Michael was once Tina’s guidance counselor, though he waited until she was legal! (Uh-huh.)

We were given homework: to watch the documentary “If Knishes Could Talk” (on YouTube if you want to), and to watch at least one movie about New York, and I specifically was to go look at Google Maps tours about New York (I asked Rachel what to look for and she said Little Italy, so I turned that in and Linda sent that around to everyone). Linda said that having an NYC accent isn’t required, but I want to try it anyway, or at least I think the character should have one and it’ll certainly go with uh, Vinnie.

I wrote down the quote “Who hasn’t been on that date, obviously?” but sadly no longer remember the context of this, darn it.

We had to do improv scenes with our various family members. I found out that That70sScott is indeed, 70 (that number seems very significant to him). Vinnie wanted to serve his invented dish, corned beef calzone with kimchi and sauerkraut (“Vinnie’s Vital Vittles”), for dinner. And at the wedding. We were supposed to go into the scene with an agenda and mine was that now that the kids are out of the house, I want to be more in the act/be a star too like he promised before we got married. And he was all, “oh, sure you can! I’ve got this act where I come out of a trash bag and you can pose in a bikini,” and I was all “so you want me to throw you into the trash like every other guy in New York?”

As for the other scenes:

* The mutants at table 9 (i.e. randoms not related to anyone): We established that Michael was not a very good guidance counselor, he thinks Marina smells like Tina and maybe Marina kind of has A Thing for Tina....

* At the Vitale family dinner, nobody seemed to remember their nun cousin, “eggplants should not be that color,” also the mom does not really remember “favorite foods” too well if she serves meat to a vegetarian, and the family dog is “at a farm somewhere upstate.” Also the nun talked about her wedding to God, which wasn’t quite as, well nobody else showed up....

* At the Nunzio family dinner, dad has no intention of retiring, the bride’s mom called Maddy trash, Johnny (who’s closeted gay) is asked if any of the girls at the wedding are single. “I think there’s a nun...” but he wants none of that! When asked if he likes girls, Johnny was all “uhhhhhh....” He also read Playboy for the articles.

* Barry and Connie: he did a drug deal to get them Chinese food. God, he’s so fucking sketchy. They debate naming the baby Dracula, but “Little D is not a good nickname.” Maybe Hannibal instead? They also discuss hiding a lot of drugs in a big hat or a fake belly, and getting a hammock for the baby.

* Dom and Donna: She’s a princess and sometimes it’s a little ridiculous. “Little is the kind part.” They discuss her flirting with the head of the marching band because “that’s a musical connection.”

Then we started reading the wedding scene aloud and crossing out the bits we won’t be doing and a lot of Father Mark’s lines, which I’m guessing the director finds boring or lengthy or what.

Next week, those of us who want to check out the costume storage can come at 6 to do that on Tuesday, and we’re having publicity photos taken on Thursday, so come up with something approximate to your costume to wear, at least.

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