Chaos Attraction

Things That Wig Me Out Now

2020-04-14, 8:49 p.m.

Another frying day of work. Another surprise meeting dropped on me with like fifteen minutes notice, which forced me to cancel therapy for the second time in two weeks because we HAD TO DO 2.5 HOURS OF "WHY WON'T THE PRINTER PRINT?" yet AGAIN. She claimed she'd be done by 11, and she was not, obviously. I was so mad but there wasn't anything I could fucking do or say about it. I'm already a problem child without saying, "Hey, I need to stop hosting this Zoom meeting so I can get therapy, which I really fucking need right now!" Can't do that.

And of course, we have another one of these meetings yet again tomorrow.

I just wanted to scream and scream and scream. And then I thought of what would happen: my shitty onsite apartment manager would be the last person I see on this earth, after someone calls the cops and then what are the cops going to do? They can't come in and grab me. They can't send in the nice young men in the clean white coats to take me away, haha. So what are they going to do about me if I can't stop screaming?

Meanwhile the neighbor coughs and coughs outside, that douchebag, and my coworkers go on about the nice walks they had outside. They asked me how the weather was there and I said, "I can't see the window from my computer" (true, it's behind me) and "look, we're all literally going to have the same weather if we're all in the same area, unless a tornado is going on." It takes you about four hours of driving to get yourself into different weather, in my experience.

Also at work: while answering the portals again, somebody wrote in that they ... I forget what it was, some kind of "oops I signed up for this" or something. I don't get how anyone does that anyway, but then he writes, "I just found out this tragedy this morning...."

On the one good note from work, I heard from one of the new temps (New Temp Sarah....yup, all the Sarahs) and she said, " I sure do miss working in person with you! You are def one of my favorite humans." I was astonished because heck, she barely knew me before this! That's very flattering!

Quote of the day is from Mur Lafferty's podcast, I Should Be Writing #493: (mp3 link)
"Who knew the apocalypse would be all about yoga pants and six feet apart from each other? I'm wearing jeans today and I feel like a damn hero."

Regarding what I ate today: expiration dates mean nothing, y'all! I found packs of "Kelloggs Fruity Snacks Sours" and they are the second best thing I've eaten in quarantine, even though they "expired" in 2018. I also attempted to eat peanut butter + pickles + the small amount of bread I had frozen in the house. I finished off one pickle jar but could not get the other open, which bummed me out.

I did talk to Dawn after work. She wasn't too into the hot water story, but that's what I got this week. We talked about horror movies, how she's not into mysteries or romances but liked the Twilight movies (no comment there from me....), and how her husband somehow spends 3 hours watching the news but muting everything he doesn't like, so what's the point of "watching the news," then?

I heard from my cousin Matt over email--sounds like they're fine, he didn't say too much. I heard from Jess after I sent her an article that reminded of her--we had a conversation once about mutual "meh" and I saw an article about how if you don't feel "yes" or "no" about something, you should just wait it out until you get an answer and not push it.

I signed up for some "free vibrator" thing yesterday. I suspected it was not free but just wanted to poke it and see, more or less, and I was right: they may be giving out some free ones, but I got a coupon for $30 off. Also on their website it says, "Order asap so we can get you your products before borders close / delivery services halt." Yeah, good point. Mail may stop at any time in a few months. That said, I don't think I will get one, because of the same reason why I've never been into them in the first place: everyone knows you're using it because they are loud and distinctive, and I live in an apartment. Their website doesn't have any rankings of sound vs. pressure either, which is unhelpful. Back in the day I used to go to Good Vibrations and test out all the vibrators and I never found one that wasn't obviously audible in an apartment on some level plus well, effective.

The police here are telling people NOT TO THROW PARTIES RIGHT NOW. I was looking on some website or other the other day about how well towns are obeying shelter-in-place and my town got a D. I GUESS I KNOW WHY NOW, because people are too stupid not to party. I won't link to this article because it's fucking Fox News, but there have been 34 calls saying that people were partying, 14 of them last weekend. They interviewed one guy who got busted for a party of "10 to 15 people," who claimed he was "totally been trying to abide by the social distancing,...I've set up chairs, kind of like spread out." He then quotes the cops yelling at them, "Have you not watched the news? It's a national pandemic. It's a county/state order." Then he has a final quote of "I totally respect why everyone's on edge but at the same time, I really feel like there's some point where mental health has to take an importance over what's going on." UH, NO, YOU DON'T GET TO DO THAT. Like, just watch me fucking cracking up every day here, obviously, but you can literally get yourself or someone killed because you needed some social time for your mental health. Mental health has to go buh-bye compared to the curse of fatal death here. Shut up, you idiot fucking turd. On a related note, I like this video. I don't know who this chick is, but yeah, I'm with you.

I cannot take hearing yet another awful thing about how the virus lasts on everything for hours and hours and hours. People actually think I should go outside when they keep coming up with facts like this?!

Things that really really really super wig me out now:

(a) The coronavirus lasts for hours/days/weeks/months on X substance stories. Now it's on your shoes for 13 hours? HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GO OUTSIDE FOR THIS?!


(c) People mentioning "outside" at all to me.

(d) We're all going to be in quarantine for at least 18 months/2 years/even worse than that. That's one of the guaranteed things that makes me cry now.

(e) If anyone brings up the word "hug," I start crying, including right now while writing this.

(f)What fabric is semi-appropriate-if-not-really-working-but-it's-sorta-the-best-we-can-do to make masks out of, this just gave me Blue Screen of Death for fucking weeks and I could not cope with or craft that.

(g) Even your pets/fucking tigers get coronavirus, which is clearly going to lead to "Don't even pet your own dog" at this rate. Now I"m really glad I have no pets. But seriously, how are people going to NOT TOUCH THEIR PETS? I felt bad enough not petting the neighbor’s dog on Sunday when I saw her out.

(h) You can catch coronavirus from a corpse now, so that's happening.

(i) My asshole neighbor and his smoking and coughing.

(j) My idiot apartment manager.

(k) Why the hell is someone making some kind of snoring noise but isn't happening during bedtimes so I don't quite think it is snoring? Thank god I don't hear it in my bedroom or I'd be losing it worse than usual.

(l) Lawn Guys noises.

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