Chaos Attraction

While I Have Your Undivided Attention....

2020-04-15, 8:54 p.m.

I spent 3.5 hours of my workday on Zoom calls. One of those calls was, you guessed it, 2.5 hours long because Tigress wanted to train me on things. (Unfortunately, anything she wants to do somehow takes at least an hour longer than she said it would.) And then took a half hour to get around to trying to get into the call. Which didn't work so I had to set up another one. And then she periodically wandered off to deal with her relatives. I don't super care on that topic, except she had "Share Screen" up the entire time and that blocked me from doing actual work that I need to get done and could have gotten done while I was waiting around. I got a lot of knitting done while I waited instead.

At one point, over 2 hours into this, she's all "while I have your undivided attention" and I'm thinking 'bullshit, I was knitting during most of this and I paid better attention now that I don't have to sit still and not fidget."

I am seriously unable to take any breaks because of all the Zoom calls. I am seriously unable to get my actual job tasks done because of all the meetings, and then the portals, and when I'm not doing one of those I have to respond to emails. This is a dire fucking problem and once again, I was fantasizing about screaming my head off. Tigress was finally done five minutes before I had to do portals and she was all, "Sorry you don't get a break, I guess you get five minutes of pause."

Incidentally, one of Tigress's kids that doesn't live with her is apparently popping in and visiting. I did overhear Tigress giving her some shit for this, like "aren't you supposed to be staying at home? Go wash your hands RIGHT NOW," and "why is she always over here taking things?"

Today's Matthew Dicks workshop at lunch: start story with something moving forward, even if you're passing an ID across the counter.
Game: Where Or Where: locations where you spend time. Stream, public restroom, library, porch. Don't do something generic like "classroom," be specific like "bowling alley" or "kindergarten classroom."

Carlos isn't doing too well. Technically no longer has the virus but sounds absolutely physically wiped out for an indefinite period of time :(

I have signed up for an online hippiecon this weekend and next weekend! Even if I can't go to everything, they promise to send video, which rocks.

Quote of the day: I watched the weekly Whose Line cast conversation (features Wayne Brady in designer onesies and his TikToks with dogs) and someone asked if the show had been picked up for 2022 and they said they didn't know yet and would have to see how it goes. Then Ryan Stiles said, "Is the world picked up for 2022?" and Wayne Brady was all, "Good question." That's another possible sampler slogan there.

On a related note to last week’s hot water incident, I found a story by a lady who’s ill (I forget what she has, cancer?) right now whose refrigerator was about to die and she was terrified to have men in the house and they might not even be willing to bring it in, and she told the salesperson that she’d have to refuse the order if they did not. Then it turned out that the new refrigerator was damaged, so she had to refuse it and all of that agita and having guys in the house (plus dealing with moving things out of the fridge) and terror...for NOTHING. I was like, I HEAR YA, GIRL, THAT’S EVEN WORSE THAN MINE LAST WEEK.

Storytelling class was on again tonight, and people told stories.

1. One chick told a story about how her grandfather used to marital-nag her, and then she ended up bringing a girl who was some friend of her parents over to a family gathering, and her grandfather was somewhat confused as to whether or not she was gay.

2. Another girl told a story about how she was a huge nerd and went to summer school and was horrified that people at summer school are stupid, "they don't even know what a square root is!" She seems to think of herself as an asshole when she was a kid. I don't think she's an asshole in this particular story, but she did mention that "I ended up running a gang of Ashleys, all spelled differently, and I set them against each other." We'd all like to hear THAT story, please.

3. One girl talked about doing an Iron Man in France, how she hates the bike bit and had to rent a bike, which came with a pump and she loaned it to some guy and then had to get it back when her own tire went out, etc. Later he tried to help her but "somehow let more air out of the tire," and I was all, "been there, done this."

4. A guy talked about how he was playing a vampire in a summer camp skit and was told to tone down the scary because kids were there, and then was introduced to a guy at camp that had a ...I'm guessing Transylvanian-sounding accent. So suddenly he felt like he had to change the accent he used or else people were making fun of the guy, so he tried to make it Norwegian or something.... and then he asked the guy after where he was from and he said, "Australia."

My story was not really uh...funny, per se (technically did not get laughs) but seemed enjoyed, I guess? I dunno. It's what came out last week. Sometimes I just can't write something else and a thing has to get out...which was my experience the last time I took this class, for that matter. I did get told, "You're a very good storyteller, Jen," though I am a bit concerned that Lisa thought the manager was "crazy." And I was all, "eh, she's not crazy," but she is a divey slacker and I stand by that assessment. Mostly she said that I sounded angry and that was not so sympathetic compared to other parts of the story, such as how I have to be a naggy bitch in order to get anything done. "We're all rooting for you to be successful against the other person." I don't want to take out the anger, but if that's red flagging someone...

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