Chaos Attraction

Pointless Auditioning For Fun

2019-05-04, 5:28 p.m.

It’s been a busy day. It’s also Free Comic Book Day and the ceramic conference weekend, but hoo boy, do I not have time to cram that stuff in too. Also Meg sent me an e-mail yesterday being all “I’m coming into town for the honey festival tomorrow, let’s get together, I’m not going to check the Internet so call or text me,” and I did and she has not responded to my “busy all day, how’s about after 6?” Grrr, argh. This is not the time of year to fly in last minute and hope I’m free to hang, y’all, sigh.

Anyway: I went to the aforementioned Honey Festival this morning since it opened at 10 since it was a craft fair. I basically ran through the whole thing so I could cram it all in in an hour. I found two booths I liked very much and ended up buying an iridescent stained glass butterfly necklace and two pins, one that says “I’m sorry I apologize so much” and the other that says “ The only thing standing in between you and your dreams is reality.” I found the first one appropriate for work and the last one appropriate for my next event.

I then went to audition at the Comedy Spot again. I think I’ve been doing it like once or twice a year for like four years now. I no longer know anyone who’s in the current crop of auditioners, and someone I went to class with is now literally running the beginning Harold teams because she is perfect, sigh. So I am a sad person in this arena and I know it. However, I do feel better since I am now in an improv show SOMEWHERE at least, and as GQ said yesterday, what the heck, this is just for fun, I’m not going to get in anyway so I might as well not stress out about it. I also decided to not try to knock myself out jumping into the limited number of two-person scenes since there were ten people auditioning and that was going to be problematic to do. Why not let the people who have an actual shot at this get their chance in?

Things I did:
(a) tell a monologue about how my car got towed.
(b) tell a monologue about breaking my leg (then though “oh crap, I think I did this in another audition...oh fucking well”)
(c) Jumped into a scene and got into a scissor fight with a guy
(d) Jumped into a scene playing a kid looking for A mommy, just any mommy.
(e) Played someone (I imagined it as a bug, the other guy didn’t quite get it but oh well) fascinated with the stage light and was essentially tripping balls looking into it.

They mixed it up a bit--had us doing a half-Harold and then said “do some more monologues and montages,” whatever that meant. Then they specifically called out four of us, me included, to do another scene since we hadn’t gotten enough stage time. They had about twenty(?) auditioners and we were divided into two teams of ten and usually Harold teams/stage teams should be about 6-8 people, so that was going to be a problem anyway. So I thought it was nice that they asked us to do more, at least.

There was also one girl there.... I don’t know what her deal was actually, but I am kind of wondering if she had mental issues of some sort. She had a bit of a lisp of some kind but mostly it was that I’m not entirely sure what the heck she was doing when she jumped into scenes. Like she did a monologue I didn’t quite understand about recycling (she was easier to understand face to face rather than when I was behind her) and then two guys were doing a scene about recycling and “hey, you gotta drink the last of this beer in this bottle before we recycle it,” and she jumped in and lectured them on how they could just pour the last little bit out without drinking it and it seemed like she kind of missed the point of the joke. I bet she was a bit of a challenge to be in class with.

I am writing this at the CC right now. I wish I remembered the exact quote of this, but I was shown a video of a pug similar to Carrie Fisher’s dog Gary and said dog was described along the lines of, “He’s totally useless but he brings joy to the farm.”

Also, someone did the math on how many hours people owe the CC and I not only do not have missing hours...I have 6.5 extra hours right now. This seems hilariously bizarre right now. Though after this shift, I will have made up 15 hours and will technically still only have 2.5 hours more to go. Go figure.

One of the volunteers on shift today said she went to England with that professor and she was one of her favorites. And I had to be all “uh...well, I tried to be friends with her but she wasn’t interested.” Awkward! But...that’s life.

I then called Meg after I got off work and she was all, “I only went to the festival for ten minutes, and mostly I just helped someone move a tree and now I’m tired....” Sigh. Oh well there too. I passed up another show I could have gone to tonight, just in case...but I might as well use the night to do chores and crap.

I finally finished writing journal entries between my birthday and today and then Diaryland crashed. Good timing there!

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