Chaos Attraction

Men Are Zebras

2021-05-05, 8:40 p.m.

recently on Chaos Attraction
Rushing Things - 2021-05-10
Times Have Changed - 2021-05-09
One Take Steve - 2021-05-08
The British Royal Family - 2021-05-07
Weird Discussions Today - 2021-05-06

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Cast list as of November 2019

I really didn't sleep for shit. I don't think I lost consciousness at all until about 4:42 this morning...for a couple of hours during which I had a weird dream, but otherwise I think I was just vaguely awake most of the night. This has been going on for several days now...I'm not sure if I should be concerned because otherwise I seriously feel fine and not even sleepy all day, for ...whatever reason. That said, I did order some random placebo-y pills off Amazon at the crack of dawn after reading this because it seems like the Benadryl only works sometimes or once in a while or it puts me to sleep but I still wake up in the am. Eh, might as well try some crackpot shit at this point.

Nothing to say about work, it was quiet. Still waiting in total suspense for one more problem child to get fixed--well, we're done with six out of seven of 'em from yesterday, at least.

I saw Reggie today when I went out on the patio during morning work break and he was not happy. Seemed to be off work, drinking on the patio, grumpy because his car needs repairs (possibly why he's home, I guess? I'm not sure where his work is located but I'm gonna guess he'd have to drive to it), and some guy who was giving him the creeps was walking by and talking on his cell phone and giving him the eye, so he ran off and hid back on his patio. I guess he's seen the guy around before-- "I remember seeing him a year ago" and the guy gave him the wiggins then. (Should probably clarify that Reggie is African-American and yeah, legit to be concerned at a rando giving you the eye while on the phone these days.) I kinda think this is not a good mental health day for Reggie, though. I'm concerned, but there isn't much I can do. He said he had to go take care of someone's plants and pick up mail later and I said "you gonna be sobered up by then?" and he said "sure, it's not until 5." Okay, then. Hopefully his wife is aware of the situation.

I went outside on the patio during (most of) my lunch today and was vaguely wondering if I should skip doing that, but he wasn't out then, so I didn't. Not that I'm afraid of him or anything, just that I wanted some peace and quiet for a bit and he seemed jangly.

Our emcee for the suffragist play has now bailed....something about how she got caught with 3 dogs instead of 2 at her condo and got reported on and is now suddenly fleeing to Florida.... uh.....???? On a related note, Mary in Shrek asked last night about the suffragist play and if we ever need an older lady. I have no clue how she'd be as an emcee but hey, at this point it's good to keep someone on file, or what ever. Never know who's gonna flake n' bail. Maybe for the knitting play, Kelly said.

The weather is nice today, I did walk around outside again for a bit and read outside again. I'm reading "Finding Freedom" and it is a very, very nice and friendly royal biography. Definitely feels like Harry and Meghan (or their "friends" or whatever) were very chatty to the authors about what was going on, like on a micro level. Not that I'm all that far through it so far- I hit the engagement announcement--but so far the biggest scandals are that Kate wasn't that into meeting Meghan and isn't very chatty, and the whole "William said 'this girl' and it made Harry mad" thing.

I have decided that with regards to all my (former?) theater friends: can't get anyone to write back to me any more (Robert didn't, Cameron didn't, Sarah didn't...that's all in the last 2 weeks) and you know what, FUCK IT. Fuck trying. I want people who actually want to have contact with me. Eva does, Kelly and Shanna do, Claire does, collage club do. I have actual people who want to talk to me. I'm gonna focus on them and not trying to get blood out of stones any more. If I hear from anyone, great, but I'm assuming they're all gone until further notice because trying and being ignored, for whatever reason, sucks pine sap. (It's a Shrek line.) I thought I had a theater family, I guess I was wrong. Fuck the pandemic, man. On a related note, I read a really crazy article on ghosting that sparked some uh, interesting conversation on the Internet.

I also read this today. She has an...interesting...take on dudes as zebras. The question was about being (more or less) platonic friends with guys you wish you could nail but they don't want to:

Polly was all...well....

"Because the most crucial thing about studying and also loving men is this: You cannot take their very simple brains and their bad math and their fear of feelings and pressure personally. Once you realize you’re trying to hold a graduate-level seminar on Nietzsche for a bunch of zebras, you’ll stop taking these guys and their very simple feelings so seriously. And when that happens, WATCH OUT BECAUSE THEY ARE ALL GOING TO WANT A PIECE OF YOUR ACTION IMMEDIATELY. Sorry that was a spoiler, please forget I said that. “Dude, all men are a tiny bit avoidant. Even when they’re also anxious and needy and need reassurance! They can be following you around, whining about how much they love you, and if you turn and say, ‘Okay, wow, I’m in! Let’s do this!’ they’re going to panic a tiny bit. They’re going to wonder if they made a mistake almost immediately.” YOU CAN’T TAKE THAT PART PERSONALLY. You have to bite your tongue and sit on your hands and say to yourself, These animals don’t live in the same emotional habitat as me. It’s not because men are evil. Most men are not evil. They’re just under constant pressure to feel things they can’t feel. They were trained not to feel things. They were formed into a simple mug that holds water. Now everyone wants the mug to dance the tango. IT’S NO FAIR! here’s the key to dating men: 1) Understand how flinchy they are about love and feelings, accept it, and don’t take it personally, and 2) Love the living shit out of yourself first, last, and always."

Shrek rehearsal: Story Of My Life and Freak Flag. Seriously this is last night of rehearsing ALL of this? At once? And done by like 8:30? We are now "Shrekians." "In that case, I will enjoy my chips n' guac. Happy Cinco." -Adam, upon finding out he doesn't have to come on tonight.

Some guy knocked at my door as rehearsal was starting. I thought it was either package delivery or Reggie (to which I would have said, check back tomorrow), but the random guy in a uniform with a clipboard wanted to ask something about PG&E and I was all "I do NOT have time to figure out what you want" and closed the door. I'm an asshole, but if I'd known he wanted to TALK and take some TIME I wouldn't have bloody answered. I only get ONE dance rehearsal as is here. Anyway, go 'way.

Dannette filmed twelve different videos of the different dances--fronts and backs, thank goodness. Story Of My Life isn't that complicated on the moves, but there are FIVE different sections of Freak Flag to do, good lord. I'm not even sure they have a recording of the whole thing together?

I feel very sorry for the neighbors having to listen to Dannette singing Gingy and Pinocchio tonight (as Pinocchio has a throat infection). She is very very loud and high pitched. I wanted to turn down the volume, except, y'know, there's enough issues.

Danntte's cat is meowing loudly and seems to have a name of Sassy McSasserson?! While everyone's on pee break she opens a VERY LOUD bag, her kettle goes off.... eats a burrito....

"No puppets were harmed in the making of this video." -Steve on final video.

Hugo has on a shirt saying "I'm A Hugger." (I'll note yesterday he had a lightsaber out and "In a galaxy far, far away" on.) His girlfriend Morgan (i.e. Fiona) isn't in our rehearsals technically as we aren't in the same numbers as her until the end, but she's usually there to watch and/or wave at people. Tonight I saw her actually trying some moves for fun.

No T-shirts for this show because 24 people wouldn't get 'em (i.e. the entire cast). Feh. I never got one for Charlotte's Web either.

Filming for these are next Friday night and all day Saturday, oy vey. And then after that, the Goodbye Song and I'm A Believer.


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