Chaos Attraction

Weekend of Stupid Behavior

2006-05-07, 7:01 p.m.

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I feel stoopid.

I found out this weekend that apparently my ability to attract nothing but bad men... has NOT gone away despite 2 years of (pretty much) respite from this sort of thing.

Without going into details, I uh, got an offer this weekend. There were some red flags about the dude and I wasn't attracted to him, but he seemed nice enough, etc., etc. But I STILL wasn't interested in having a relationship and said so. And yet...slight action went on, despite my better judgement.

And after saying my piece and breaking off the slight action, I found out the next day that uh... things I was told were not necessarily true. People told me that when I became more of an adult, more independent, less needy of men, I wouldn't attract these people any more. Clearly, that day ain't come yet.

A pearl of wisdom for y'all: If someone asks you if you have a boyfriend, this ALWAYS means something really bad is going to happen. Like, god, next time someone asks I should just fucking LIE (except this person knew enough people who could verify otherwise, so I don't think it was an option here).

Jess said it was a victory for me because he put four hours into making moves on me and got no nookie. I suppose that's right. And that I at least knew there were red flags this time, even if I did dip a toe into a bad situation.

Meanwhile, I'm annoyed at myself for still dipping a toe into a situation I didn't necessarily even want to get into, and that I even considered this on some level (i.e. fuckbuddy, I guess...) in the first place.

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