Chaos Attraction

The Dollar Dance

2019-05-08, 10:16 p.m.

Work news:

We had the staff picnic day today, which went really well for me. I got falafel, which had literally the shortest line there. Most people try to go for the steak or some other hearty meat thing, so score for me, I was done with eating after 35 minutes and could spend the rest of the time getting free stuff. I ran into someone I know who was wearing a tutu for the occasion. And I ran into Vera, a CC person I haven’t seen in a while, so we hung out and picked up a shit ton of free stuff. I got:

* An inflatable cow
* A rubber stress cow
* A small backpack
* A lot of pens
* Chip clips
* Stickers
* Hand sanitizer
* 2 other bags
* Color changing pencils
* Sunglasses
* Notepads and nice notebooks
* Phone pocket doodad.

In other news, people at my work thing everyone in the play must be weird. ‘Nuff said there.

As for play rehearsal, this was THE best night of it, hands down. Why? Two reasons: the Dollar Dance and Donna’s performance of Katy Perry’s “Hot N’ Cold.” When I came in, Cameron/Donna was rehearsing the song and singing it like she was doing a slow opera number and that was beautiful enough (loving it), but later? She sings two numbers during the show: (a) My Heart Will Go On during the Dollar Dance--and then Sister Albert Maria and Dominic end up interacting when Father Mark passes out drunk, somehow have some kind of conversation about their one-night stand years ago and Sister blurts out, “I’m still in love with you!” and everything just STOPS.

As per the script, Dominic then kisses her--I’m not sure what the fuck is going on with that but Yarn Empire Scott seems to find it weird, I think. I guess Dom is trying to teach her he’s not all that, or ...something? I dunno. It’s odd. It’s spectacle. (It’s like Game of Thrones right now from what I hear on the dramatic shit outta nowhere going on.) Naturally everyone stops, sees this, including Donna on stage--so she starts singing “Hot N’ Cold” at him and it’s fucking brilliant. (His response to being sung at that he’s cryptic is to flip her the bird and say, “Is that cryptic enough for ya?” before he stomps out.) And then we all start dancing, or if you’re me, yelling “GO DONNA!” I love it. I love it so much.

As for the Dollar Dance, anything in which you stick money to a person is going to be hilarious as well as a weird level of prostitution. We ended up taping money to the bride and groom (I had some tape in my bag) and several of the guys had tons and tons of ones for this, which got even more hilarious.

That70’sScott was also out that night and thus I did his lines during the Dollar Dance. This was absolutely hilarious for me to imitate him and got some applause.

Jean was flaunting the designer outfit she got for the wedding, which she got for $6 at a thrift store. Me too, girl. She also got a purse that’s covered in shiny buttons and said, “This is the tackiest, most wonderful thing.”
Several of the dudes have gotten a SHIT TON OF ONES for the Dollar Dance (note: we will have fake money for the show but people brought their own for rehearsal). However, Mark apparently is always carrying around a lot of ones (see previous references from a few weeks ago).
I apparently didn’t write down much context for this but I have down the note: “kiss kiss kiss kiss everyone poses scott gets so red.” I am guessing this is Yarn Empire Scott since I vaguely think this had to do with bridal party posing. Ohhhh wait, I remember: he had to rehearse the moment when he kisses Sierra/Sister Albert Maria and everyone stopped to watch. I think someone was yelling, “Slip her the tongue!”
At one point, Linda fake kissed Sierra to demonstrate how Scott should handle the moment. Linda also yelled and imitated Dom, “Well, you wanna do it the other way?”
I have down “back selfie of the photo to shoot it,” I think we were doing some creative selfie poses or something from behind.
I have decided that Barry is the “Captain Save A Ho” of this show for all the times he seems to be trying to take care of (in addition to “take care of”) Michael. Whose best man ARE you, indeed? Legit question from Tony under the circumstances.
I didn’t write down the context of this, but I have a note saying “You can hear Vinnie from 2 blocks away.” I presume this was a quote from...someone.
Dominic sang “My Heart Will Go On.” Not sure why that happened since his character openly hates the song/movie.
Michael also has a large bank roll of ones for a guidance counselor. He’s got to pay for Tina’s time now.
Linda didn’t know anything about dollar dances, thought it sounded difficult. Then read up on it and thought, “piece of cake.” Then now, ohhhhhhhhh....
Nunzio put a beer down his pants.
Joey dances with dudes and ladies, at one point including Nunzio.

Out of character quotes:
“You still working?” “Until I’m dead.” -Jean and Cameron while Cameron was still singing.
“Oh god, you’re rich.” -Linda on Mark’s large collection of ones.
I didn’t write who said this down (me?) but “Seriously, he has SO MANY ONES.”
“I don’t want them to get angry and leave.” -Linda
Greg/Nunzio was back for the first time in ages, as he has been absent for work or whatever for most of rehearsal. “I’m sure Nunzio has been kept abreast of everything by Ana and we don’t have to go over everything before.” -Linda. (Greg looked uncomfortable.)
“Who’s Barry? Sounds like a real crap character.” -Manny on his own character. (Dom, in character as best man runner-up: “I’ll take your job.”)
“Who loves drinking more than the plebeians?” -Manny.
Manny and Heidi were cute and doing some shoulder kissing before rehearsal started. I was being all “that’s so cute!” Robert was all, “You should see when he does it to me,” and Manny said, “To be fair, I’ve known him longer.”
Me on the Vitales and Nunzios and whether or not they should be put at the same table: “They’re like rival gangs.” “Sharks and the Jets.” -Jesse. “Hopefully not the Crips and the Bloods.” -me
“I’m learning all about Dollar Dance today.” -Linda
“Accidentally just punched (Robert) in the face.” -Heidi
“....a little familiarility...” Linda mangling the description of Nunzio on page 102 about the dollar dance and getting fresh about it.
“I would like to recommend that someone pin money on Tina’s butt. It really made my cousin’s wedding.” -Me
Where’s Connie tonight? “She’s in labor.” -Manny
“Did you have a question?” “About smacking him in the head? I’ve had a lot of practice.” -Linda and Greg/Nunzio (this bit more in character).
As Linda was having us introduce ourselves to Sharon the propsmaster: “She won’t remember. I hardly do.” Yarn Empire Scott, in character as Dom, replied, “Thanks a LOT.”
“I don’t need all of your action!” -Linda
“This is out of character for me.” -Greg on Nunzio’s behavior.
“It’s really fabulous without you talking.” -Linda on the show in general.

In character quotes:
“I don’t think anyone wants this one back.” --Tony on the dollar Connie stuffed into the back of his pants.
When I danced with Tony: “You sure Vinnie won’t get jealous?” Me: “Nah, not since he’s got a thing for Joey Heatherington.” Tony: “I have a thing for Joey Heatherington too.”
“Tape buddies!” -Marina to me as we hand out tape for the dollar bills
“Don’t take away my purpose. This is the only purpose anyone gives me.” -Marina on getting to hand out tape.
“She’s never seen a dollar bill before.” -Tony on Tina’s excitement over a $20.
“I can bleed on the wedding dress.” -Tina, while discussing whether or not to pin it on her.
After Tina put a dollar bill in Tony’s pants: “Even classier than on the butt.” -me
“We’ve been together so long words don’t matter.” -Dom on introducing Donna
“I’m Donna, I’m the best...friend....I knew Tina in high school.”
“I’m Barry, I’m the best man, I’m a drug dealer....”
“And I’m fabulous.” -Joey
“I’m Dom’s night stand, we never defined it because the next day I ran away to join a convent.” -Sister Albert Maria
“Barry is not my drug dealer.” -Michael (uh-huh)
“A fat fetish is nothing to be ashamed of.” -Marina (I wish I remembered the context for this--the joys of trying to type shit up a week late because I have no time).
“That’s so cute. Please don’t throw up.” -me watching Tina and Sister spinning around.
“You’ve already been collecting ones.” “For a similar situation.” -me and Johnny, upon discovering he also has a lot of ones. (Out of character, Valentin said he was just getting a lot of change at places because asking for this at a bank would be embarrassing. True dat.)
“Do you want me over there with the rest of the goobers at the bar?” -Barry
“Thank you for explaining that to us.” -Maddy after Josie explains how a Dollar Dance works.
“She’s a real see you next Tuesday.” -Barry on Tina’s behavior
“Strumpet is a great band name.” -Barry on Donna’s former band
“For someone who didn’t want to do the Dollar Dance, suddenly she’s excited.” -me watching Tina get excited at getting a $20 from Father Mark
“Where do all the guys get all these ones?!?” -me
“#MeToo: “ -Tony on Nunzio’s dance
“She’s going for your nipples?” -Josie to Tony
“I own her. I have the deed to that property.” -Barry, presumably referring to Connie or something but, y’know, kinda bad here.
“I don’t want to drown out Donna. She’d cut a bitch, you know?” -me
“I get more expensive as the evening goes on.” -Tony
“Is this a dirty dance? Does Nunzio also strip at the club?” -me
“Take it all in, Father.” -unidentified woman when Maddy is dancing on the table.

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