Chaos Attraction

Directing A Circus

2019-05-13, 10:25 p.m.

First night of three rehearsing at our actual venue tonight!

The bridesmaids all went to Claire’s over the weekend and got blinged up matching stuff, fishnet stockings (though separate kinds for each--Tina has pink, Marina has bows up the back, Donna has rhinestones up the back, Connie’s are striped) and got shoes. Donna has the blingiest shoes, Connie has sneakers, Marina has what I think look like dance shoes on. Apparently there is a store called “You’re A Star!” at the mall that I need to look at. Meanwhile, Jean came in dressed like Madonna in the 80’s with a black crinoline poof as her skirt for the day.

It turns out that Valentin can make balloon animals and he made a balloon crown with a cross on it for Father Mark and various dogs to decorate the tables tonight.

We have decided to have two cast parties: one Saturday night at Nancy’s down the street (Sunday night, the original suggestion, was voted down for (a) some of us having to go to work the next day and (b) having to pick up all of the props at the venue after the show.) and the other one on June 1 at Mark’s house about an hour away from here.

When Connie needs to be pulled up to go on stage during the wedding, Barry pulled his hand away and yelled, “Psych!”
Everyone pronounces “la familgia!” in....interesting...ways.
I decided to leave Former Wedding Singer Sarah a note at the bar (since her job is running the bar) saying hi, hope to see you sometime. I have no idea if/when she will actually be in the bar since it sounds like it is kind of drop-on when she is not working the bar, but what the heck.
Mrs. V REALLY REALLY REALLY loves the song “Day By Day,” she sways, she jumps up, waves hands, even lost her glasses today.
Barry and Johnny are stroking each other’s heads.
Barry throws the rings at Tina, she throws them back.
Johnny and Marina dance at arm’s length like they think the other has cooties.

Out of character quotes:
“I have a garter belt for you.” -Linda to Tina
“That means I can keep my pants on.” -Mark on his cummerbund.
“It’s like directing a circus.” -Linda

In character quotes:
“You brought me cold Chinese food too many times!” “I was getting high!” -Connie and Barry
“Way to start off the marriage with the bitch-slapping.” -me watching the “Push It” dance.
“Who’s going to grab whose ass first?” -Barry watching Tina and Nunzio dance.
During Barry’s best man speech as he mentions himself and Connie “in bed...talking...” “...Talking. It’s all we do.” -Connie
“Ah, the romance.” -Me commenting on Nunzio’s toast about how “it don’t get no better” from here.
“Loretta’s easily amused.” -Tony as I laugh at Michael’s toast of “Wherever you go...there you are.”
“I kinda float like a plankton.” -Michael
“Hey, what Bible are you reading?” “The dirty Bible.” -Vinnie and I snarking as Connie reads her Bible verse
“I’m feeling really good tonight!” -Father Mark. “He hasn’t even had his liquor yet.” -Me
“Take these to Mordor!” -Barry “My precious!” -Tony, on the rings.
Barry and Connie are indulging in such heavy petting/losing clothing that “if she wasn’t already pregnant, I’d be concerned.” -me
“Get a garden hose on these two!” -Vinnie
On Grandma’s fall:
“She’s not dead!” -Tony
“Too bad.” -Barry
“Seriously?!” -me
“Is this thing on? I know it’s not.” -Barry on his invisible mike
Barry on Vinnie: “An entertaining man. Certainly a long-winded one.”
“From the sound of it, he wants to have sex with your husband?” -Barry on Joey
“We’re keeping it quiet.” -Dom
On the misspelling of “Antinio” on the papal blessing: “That’s your portmanteau name!” -me
“That’s your Latin name!” -Vinnie
Unidentified person on the papal blessing: “Grandma’s gonna drool all over it!”

Let me recount for you “Mrs. V’s Wedding Checklist” that Jean wrote up and put out on her table:
1. Tina’s dress must be perfect (okay, so far so good)
2. Sal only photographs me with flattering angles and good lighting. (note: I have seen Pam/Sal’s photos of her in rehearsal and toward the end of the wedding, Mrs. V lands right on the floor. Hilarious.)
3. Purse has picture of Vito, a compact with lipstick for repair.
4. Watch the clock, everything must flow on time.
5. Not too much to drink for any wedding party member (HAHAHAHAHAH)
6. Carry Kleenex (I brought her a box for the table coincidentally, so solved that issue!)
7. Make sure the photograph list is followed exactly
8. Include Michael, Sister sand Marina whenever possible
9. Joey must not get out of hand, he represents the family now (actually he’s one of the most well behaved ones!)
10. Be polite and firm when necessary, but never lose control. (Uh-HUH, that...nope.)

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