Chaos Attraction


2019-05-15, 10:29 p.m.

I had A Moment at work today.

Our public open hours close an hour before the end of the workday (i.e. so people can actually get shit done). When I used to sit closer to the front door, if I went out the door around 4-4:15 I’d get bothered by people who got there late and wanted to turn their forms in.

It’s been a while since this was an issue, so when I stupidly opened the front door to go pee at 4:05, I came across a girl literally ON HER KNEES BEGGING (or possibly about to try to shove a giant pile of papers under the door, unsure which). And all I could think was:

(a) “Goddammit I have to go to the bathroom.”
(b) “I am NOT GOING TO GET TO GO TO THE BATHROOM because I am going to have to stand here and argue with this girl about policies and lateness and crap and defend the rules.”
(c) “What the hell is the point of my defending the rules when 90% of the time everyone gets around them anyway? She’s going to get what she wants anyway one way or another. Why the fuck should I be gatekeeper when nobody wants you to actually keep the gate?”

So I snarled, “FINE, I GIVE UP,” snatched the papers out of her hand and closed the door.

I went to my coworkers and told this story (they were amused and one wanted a photo of me begging on my knees) and then found out that apparently someone had told a bunch of people their deadline was today or else and then oh, wait, never mind, it’s fine to turn it in by Friday.

I then attempted to go to the bathroom and guess who was in there. With more questions. Because she wanted to include one more paper in the pile and could she just...come back again later with that paper? Or should I just grab her pile back and give it to her? Oh hell, I don’t fucking know. I think with the giant amount of evidence she turned in she’d probably be fine, and said so, but if she had questions, email the people who actually deal with this stuff since I no longer do any more.

And I of course apologized and said I really had to pee, and then finally did so.

I would probably whoppingly get in trouble for this except my boss was out the door. The girl might tattle on me for all I know--she made sure to get my name, ‘nuff said--but on the other hand, I gave her what she wanted.


Second dress rehearsal in the venue tonight! Made it through the whole thing again, too.

There will not be a walk-up buffet like we thought, or two rows, the caterers will serve everyone personally. Another thing I have to keep track of. To quote Linda, “Anyone who wants FOOD food...” well, we’re not being rationed off to have cheaper meals after all, we can eat what we want. If we have time. Good luck with that.
Oh, and we have to worry about the audience getting to eat cake too. And the caterers won’t pass that out, so we have to. Another thing to worry about managing. (Note: I forget who, but someone around me at some point complained that it took her out of a show to have actors serving the food. Yeah, well, what else can you do?)
So Yarn Empire Scott has a dairy allergy. Which apparently means that not only can he not eat the caterer’s food, neither can anyone else he makes out with during the course of the show. I did not know that was a thing for dairy, I just thought that sort of thing happened with peanuts. They are getting hidden doctored plates.

There will be fake dollar bills handed out for the Dollar Dance.

Linda keeps switching what I am supposed to be waving around in the air during the Champagne Ceremony. First I had my own sparkly baton, then it was “use this large flashlight” (which was a bit injurious when I have to bow multiple times and flash someone in the face--the script says “sparklers” but no one seems to be getting that), now at the end of today she’s all “use a small flashlight.” Also, due to Vinnie being Vinnie, we’re just going to have me do all the champagne pouring.

I also have to get the cake out--Linda wants it hidden but it has to be kind of picked up on the tray and wrestled through the hallway before it can come out. Today’s cake (a few small pieces and a knife are being hidden at the bottom of a fake cake) “was a pudding” by the time we actually got to rehearsing that, so those have to sit in a fridge and be put in manually as well.

I made a set of flashcards that are all spiral bound for Vinnie to check his lines on (he also has flashcards but his are loose...which seems to be causing him difficulty). Even when I’m having him use those, he is skipping every other card and still having problems, sigh. He doesn’t want to be prompted every time but it seems like a lot of the time we have to...I can say that he knows the lines and/or what he’s going to make up, but getting it all in the right order is a problem.

We were debating how people will know the play is over--in the scriptbook the characters get into cars and leave, but we’re not doing that on the second floor of a building. We decided not to take any bows or anything, just to walk around and say thanks for coming.

Jean sticking her tongue out at Ana.
Mark and Robert going all karate on each other.
I am apparently supposed to hand Tina the knife for cake cutting and then she gets all “I’m about to stab someone” about it. Eeek. Yes, great idea to hand someone who’s wasted and mad a giant knife.
I got to look at some of the photos that Pam has shot. The ones of Jean fallen on the floor are just great.
Father Mark’s stole goes literally almost to his feet, I only hope he doesn’t trip or snag on something.
In the script, Mrs. V goes after Donna as she is going down the aisle and forces the gum out of her mouth. Meanwhile, Connie is getting away with having gum in hers. I asked why and Cameron said she and Laurel had wondered as well, thinking that Mrs. V is too distracted by Donna’s to notice Connie’s.
Mrs. V continues to be SUPER PSYCHED about singing “Day By Day,” yelling at Michael to sing. I have down the note “kicklines,” so I guess that happened.
People are generally remembering the crucial things, but it’s the softer stuff that might get forgotten.
Jean invited a few friends of hers that could not go to the regular show to rehearsal tonight. Another person was also invited and she cried like a pro during the rehearsal. Jean’s friends jumped in for the Dollar Dance and seemed to enjoy it.

The ending with Tina missing her dad is surprisingly touching. I am getting a little choked up.

Out of character quotes:
“We are actually lovers behind the scenes.” -Ana on her and Jean.
Cameron and Yarn Empire Scott have not been able to find the “Forbidden Dance” movie to learn how to do the lambada. “Can’t find The Forbidden Dance? It’s in the name.” -Valentin
“I’ve got some rhythm but I buy my shoes in left pairs.” -Yarn Empire Scott
“No ad-libbing!” -Linda to That70’sScott.
On how they are handling the cake situation: “Someone better warn Heidi.” -Linda. “Don’t warn her. Please don’t warn her.” -Manny.
“This is why we have rehearsals.” -Linda
“I think we gotta do what we gotta do.” -Linda

In character quotes:
(After Linda said no ad-libbing.) “You’re gonna scare people.” -Nunzio. “I’m gonna improv anyway.” -Vinnie.
The wrong music was going off during the ceremony. (I hope those music issues get worked out.) This led to the following: “Is that an omen?” -Tony
Also when the portable mike wasn’t working: “Is it working now?” “It has the Holy Spirit in it.” -Father Mark and Celeste.
Connie is pulling her speech out of her boobs. She emphasizes every possible dirty or iffy sounding part in it, and then finishes with her own line of, “So clean up your shit.”
“I love that song!” “I can tell!” -Mrs. V and Joey on “Day By Day.”
“Yeah, we don’t have much of a budget, sorry.” -Tony on the rings. (He also made an “ow” face when the ring was going on.)
Connie was asking me about working weddings, and I said that on a craziness level this was about an 8...and then Mrs. V fell and I declared it a 9.

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